[DazedandConfused254]

Hello PC. I have been struggling with some hard emotions and anxiety which I currently do not know how to handle. First off, this last year has been the most challenging of my life, as recently graduating from college and starting grad school has turned my world upside down. On top of all these changes, I experienced some set-backs that sent me down a spiral. One of these included a project in school where my fellow group members were non-cooperative, and accused me of not being able to complete my share as part of this project, though I did the best I could to do a thorough job on this project and keep my other classes in check. I also had a summer job in California, where I cut trees and cleared debris from trails, which was a very stressful environment. My boss did not do a good job communicating with his workers, which led to several quarrels with me and my boss. This along with personality clashes with other fellow interns were responsible for my early termination from the program. To further add to my challenges, I also suffered from developmental delays in early childhood that temporarily hindered development of speech and life skills (looked at various diagnosis to "fit" me, but never able to ID a cause of delays), worrying my family and teachers about if I would even graduate high school and be successful. Though I was eventually able to overcome and recover from these problems with love and therapy, these old problems were suddenly re-hashed repeatedly from friends and family when I started struggling with this series of difficult situations. I have stumbled into the same old feelings that my life is a joke, and that I will never be successful with a career or relationships. I have much to be thankful for, like friends and family who are interested in catering to my needs, and do not remember me for my history of developmental delays. However, I constantly feel as if the world is out to get me and remind of me of my failures when I make a mistake, and that nobody cares about me when I start struggling, as if the world expects me to have it all together already. My situation is much more stable than it was several months ago when all of this unfolded, but I am still struggling with anxiety symptoms, such as profuse sweating, rapid heart rate, and distracting intrusive thoughts (like "I am a failure", "You can't do it", "You're insane!", "You're messed up and disordered!") I am interested in your input. How can I change this way of thinking? What are some mechanisms I can use in order to move on from my past and my mistakes? I feel sad and lonely, and I really need your help.

[Thunder Bow]

Seems like you were being pushed around and bullied by those people. Avoid them and find your own path. You are doing well.

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by Thunder Bow

Seems like you were being pushed around and bullied by those people. Avoid them and find your own path. You are doing well.

Yes, that was summed up perfectly! I guess it would be necessary to filter out the people who don’t believe in me, while still keeping the friendships that matter to me the most, and sharing my needs with them openly. Thanks! That made my day.

[hvert]

Have you ever tried CBT techniques? I sometimes find them helpful to challenge my doomsday thinking.

Was the small group project at your grad program or part of the undergrad degree?

[DazedandConfused254]

Originally Posted by hvert

Have you ever tried CBT techniques? I sometimes find them helpful to challenge my doomsday thinking.

Was the small group project at your grad program or part of the undergrad degree?

Thank you for your response. I have been visiting a professional counselor since the start of my current semester at school, and I have learned how to reflect on positive memories when intrusive thoughts arise (vacations, friends, etc), surround myself with my interests and close friends, and journal to negate negative thoughts, but still don't feel like that's enough to completely get rid of this anxiety.

My group project was my capstone project for my undergrad senior seminar class at my university, to complete my degree plan for my BS in Geoscience. Though my previous negative experiences with these types of projects affected my attitude on that project, my situation was worsened when withheld communication and conflicting goals resulted in my fellow groupies trying to turn me into my prof and even all the way up to the dean of my department, on top of my computer breaking down and getting into an accident, even though I tried to follow the instructions to a tee and mind my own business. Those little buttholes.

[All Is Revealed]

It's good that you have friends and family that support you. I'm happy for you.