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#1
Dec 20, 2017, 06:13 PM
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I'm not dealing well with the stress in my life. I started seeing a counselor again, but that's not going well either. I called today and scheduled an appointment after what happened today (see below) and they called later and canceled it and said he wouldn't be back for two weeks. For real? So I'm here because I'm angry and I don't know what to do to let it go.
So some jerk turned a corner really fast in his vehicle where I had the right of way as a walker and I yelled at him that we was an A... He stopped his car and told me I should watch where I was walking and said I was an A... too. I shouldn't have yelled, but freaking seriously!! I had the right away as a walker. So why am I the one that feels so guilty? He could've hit me! and he didn't give a d... Anywho...when this stuff happens it really makes me wish I was dead. I don't like myself at all. I hate myself, actually. I don't even want to be here on this dumb planet. No, I won't kill myself, but I do wish I were dead. All these people dying and I'm still here. Why not me? I'm willing. People like that jerk don't make me want to be here either. I'm so angry just thinking about it. I don't know how to let it go and I have no one to talk to.
__________________
--Just OrangyRed |
 Anonymous59898, Bill3, BLUEDOVE, Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky, Skeezyks
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#2
Dec 20, 2017, 08:55 PM
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I'm sorry you had this disturbing experience.
 But I know exactly how you feel! My wife & I have a small dog I walk daily. In Minnesota, pedestrians in crosswalks (marked or unmarked) have the right-of-way (unless it's an intersection with a traffic light)... no questions asked. But does anybody care? NO! They'll run you down as soon as look at you!  I've done exactly the same thing you did... numerous times... and got the same kind of response.  It's like they're indignant because I was in their frickin' way!  And afterward, I always end up feeling the same way you do.  The best thing I can suggest for you is my all-purpose remedy for dealing with stress, anger & anxiety... "compassionate abiding". Here's a link to a description of the practice in case you're not familiar:https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/ May it be of benefit.  
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
| Anonymous59898, Fuzzybear
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 BLUEDOVE, orangyred
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#3
Dec 20, 2017, 10:27 PM
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I will check that out. Thank you! I am feeling a bit better tonight, but still having a bit of a hard time.
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--Just OrangyRed |
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#4
Dec 21, 2017, 04:09 AM
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I hope talking with your therapist will help. Remember that we're here for you as well! 
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| orangyred
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#5
Dec 28, 2017, 08:03 PM
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__________________
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