[Soulgirl]

How do you deal with the pain that comes from knowing the man you loved and thought he loved you tells you that he doesn't love you anymore.

Hey Soulgirl, I'm so sorry you're going through that. It hurts and I think...spending time with friends, or busying yourself, can help. So can self care and healthy ways of self soothing. There is sunshine behinds your clouds. Hang in there.

[MickeyCheeky]

It must hurt a lot. Try to distract yourself. Remember that you have your self-worth and that your life doesn't depend on anyone else barring yourself.

[mote.of.soul]

So awful Soulgirl, I'm real sorry that happened to you. Very painful, yes. Just take it a day at a time, keep going, and one day, after a bit more time, you'll suddenly realize you're through the hardship and it all becomes a memory - part of your lifes experiences. You wont feel awful forever, that much I know. Take care of your heart Soulgirl, it'll be okay eventually.

[smmath]

Hi Soulgirl,

I can't imagine how much pain you must be feeling. It sounds excruciating to losing the love from someone you thought would love you indefinitely. It's okay to feel how you feel and it's okay to take as much time as you need to grieve the loss.

There's a book called "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing" by Susan Anderson and she talks about the grieving process of being abandoned. I have found her book to help me understand what I went through with a break up and how to be gentle with myself.

I hope you find some of this information helpful and I apologize if it's not what you need right now

Anderson describes what we may feel when we are left: our world seems to come crashing down around us. Our hopes and dreams of the future we thought we'd have is destroyed. She calls this the 'shattering' phase. Our body can react as though our lifeline is gone and we can go into survival mode. Some people have find it helpful to self soothe and remind themselves that it's normal to react strongly and the intense sense of loss won't last forever. She recommends trying to be in the present moment as much as possible. It can give our brains a break when we feel broken inside.

I've been in a similar position where I was broken up with and I didn't think I would get through it. I felt all alone and when it happened I needed my ex more than ever. What helped me in the beginning was crying my eyes out but keeping one foot in reality. I had to remind myself that the pain won't last forever even when I didn't believe it. I remember "Be here now" on my wall to remind myself that all I had to do was get through the next moment. Over time and with a lot of grieving I was able to refocus my life and grow.

You're in my thoughts