[introspectiveme]

The same people that thanked me in the past for being concerned and caring about them now, act like I was never there for them.

The same people that seek my help and thank me profusely for helping them aren't there for me when I need them. They can't spare 5 seconds, let alone talk to me.

The same people that said they trust me more than anyone else, DON'T even remember they said so.

I feel like such a fool.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by introspectiveme

The same people that thanked me in the past for being concerned and caring about them now, act like I was never there for them.

The same people that seek my help and thank me profusely for helping them aren't there for me when I need them. They can't spare 5 seconds, let alone talk to me.

The same people that said they trust me more than anyone else, DON'T even remember they said so.

I feel like such a fool.

It is never wrong to try to help someone else, but you have to always take care of your self first. Me, i am good at trying to help others, but not good at doing the same for me. Don't be like me, put your self first!!!!!!!

[lotusblossom19]

Nope, not wrong to care at all. I'm sorry. I know how you feel. If you notice a pattern of someone not making an effort to reciprocate the care you show them, you can conclude you have been taken for granted. Relationships of any kind need mutual care and appreciation in order for all involved to function happily and healthily within them. Yes, it is best to look after you first. The more water in your own glass, the more you have available to pour into someone else's glass.

[seesaw]

It's not wrong to care, of course not. It makes us (the proverbial "us") feel good to care about others. It sounds like the people you gave support to were the "fairweather" friend type. When stuff is okay or good for you, they're there for you, but when the weather becomes cloudy or rainy, metaphorically, they disappear. I'm sorry this happened to you. It has happened to me as well, and I'm sure others, so you're not alone. I'm not sure there is anything to be done about it other than write them off and move on.

I'm sorry that your friends have treated you this way.

It's not wrong to care and I hope this doesn't put you off from caring about others in the future.

Seesaw

[DoroMona]

I've had that experience too. It feels good, helping people, for whatever reason. For myself, I like feeling needed, or like I'm able to do something for others. I guess it makes me feel more confident in myself, that I have the ability to improve things for others, even if only in a small way. But then, when you realize that those people have no actual appreciation for you, it's a horrible feeling. I wrestle with it a lot, knowing that you're not supposed to help people wanting something in return and that you should just be satisfied that you helped them, but at the same time, it's not so extravagant to just want to feel appreciated and liked.

Why do you help people? What would you have done with your time, otherwise? If you were to put the energy you used helping them into yourself, are you clear on what you would have done? Often when I'm sucked into doing things for others, it's because I'm not clear on what I myself want or need at that moment, so I'm just using other people as a distraction, even when I go to great lengths to do things for them.

[mountainstream]

I’m sorry people have treated you this way.

[wolfgaze]

The best way to go about helping/serving others is to do so without any expectations - meaning you are not expecting anything in return (whether it be a certain reaction, or even reciprocation)...

That being said, you also have to be mindful that no one is attempting to take advantage of you - and distance yourself from individuals who seek to do so...