Unsolvable life situation?

Can you sum up in a short summary as to what in that book helped you this much?

(I've just downloaded it btw)

Debt, debt, DEBT.

Oh this controlled focus it talks of in the foreword in the book, I had it my whole life. The only one thing it failed to work for is build relationships!!!!!!!!! That's why I'll probably kill myself.

Well, just the whole way of reframing your thoughts process and acting versus reacting and taking control of your life versus letting it happen. I dunno, I identified with like every word, it wasn't one simple thing.

I was always in control of my life before. I no longer care about all the material things anymore though. Maslow pyramid of needs is winning

but yeah I had to laugh at the foreword of the book where it talks about being rich and successful and bla bla bla I've experienced all the material success already that I wanted and I want more than just that.

Lol just how shallow this is "The third master lesson in this book will reveal the secrets to enable you to create quality relationships—first with yourself, then with others. You will begin by discovering what you value most highly, what your expectations are, the rules by which you play the game of life, and how it all relates to the other players. Then, as you achieve mastery of this all-important skill, you will learn how to connect with people at the deepest level"

Master lesson? Game of life? Achieve mastery of deeply connecting? How fake all this is.

OK sorry, I'm sure there are some good tips too in this book. I'm sure the rest isn't fake. I'm just talking out loud here about the relationships bit specifically. I just want to. I don't know why.

I mean I am sure the book is good otherwise and that it has meaningful stuff too, like you said, taking control in life is important, but this approach as quoted for relationships specifically just seemed so shallow

Lol it helps me go on!

"At the seminars I conduct near my home in Del Mar, California, we've created a fun anchor to remind us who is really responsible for our emotions. These seminars are held in an exquisite, four-star resort, the Inn L'Auberge, which sits right on the ocean, and is also near the train station. About four times a day, you can hear the train whistle loudly as it passes through. Some seminar participants would become irritated at the interruption (remember, they didn't know about Transformational Vocabulary yet!), so I decided that this was the perfect opportunity to turn frustration into fun. "From now on," I said, "whenever we hear that train howl, we'll celebrate. I want to see how good you can make yourselves feel whenever you hear that train. We're always waiting for the right person or right situation to come along before we feel good. But who determines whether this is the right person or situation? When you do feel good, who's making you feel good? You are! But you simply have a rule that says you have to wait until A, B, and C occur before you allow yourself to feel good. Why wait? Why not set up a rule that says that whenever you hear a train whistle, you'll automatically feel great? The good news is that the train whistle is probably more consistent and predictable than the people you're hoping will show up to make you feel good!""

The bolded: just no. Just. No.

"Feeling depressed is another call to action, telling you that you need to change your perception that the problems you're dealing with are permanent or out of control. Or, you need to take some kind of physical action to handle one area of your life so that once again you remember that you are in control."

My problem is I tried this already and I can't get anything else working anymore, because this pain got to be too much in the way by now.

"If you're feeling lonely, for example, get curious and ask, "Is it possible that I'm just misinterpreting the situation to mean that I'm alone, when in reality I have all kinds of friends? If I just let them know I want to visit with them, wouldn't they love to visit with me as well?"

The answer to the latter part is unfortunately NOPE

Hang in there tevelygo. Don't give up the ghost too soon.

Right now I'm sane enough to agree. I just know I will run into some block again probably... and I might lose the battle against this evil too. I'm no longer sane at this moment talking like this.

I understand. Sorry if you've already answered this question, but what about medication?

No worries, I tried medication already, got off the last one due to a side effect. None of it really ever worked or not for long.

I want to say, if I sounded weird, I'm past some sort of crisis (first such one anyway, had quite different ones in the past), sorry, thanks for everyone trying to give input

Is it part of a condition with extreme highs and extreme lows? Ie: bipolar? Sorry if that’s too personal Just trying to understand

Tevelygo, what you're touching on here is something very important -- non-attachment... We can consciously evolve and progress to a state of being where we are no longer seeking acceptance/wholeness/completeness from 'externals' (individuals/relationships, material wealth/possessions, etc)... Where your sense of self (identity) is no longer reliant on the influence of others or on having to control/manipulate your external life circumstances and situation... This requires extensive inner-work, but it's absolutely achievable.

You know that familiar state of consciousness where your physical mind is constantly chattering about how certain individuals need to treat/view you a certain way, or how a certain set of external circumstances need to always be present in order for you to feel 'okay' inside. - in order for you to finally accept your 'self' and to be free of suffering. We live in a physical reality marked by constant change - and it's an impossible feat to exercise any control over how others choose to operate, and impossible to control the totality of our external circumstances (which are constantly subject to change)...

The less you (psychologically) attach yourself to externals - the more you will allow yourself to connect with the deeper/higher aspect of one's own nature that exists within all of us - and this is the path to finally securing total self-acceptance, completeness/wholeness, and peace of mind!

However I need to stress this... What I'm describing does not lead to a state of isolation or an experience of disconnection from others... It may seem that way early on, but that is not the final outcome or end result. As you consciously shed and transcend limiting ways of thinking and perceiving about yourself and others - you start to experience less and less barriers, less division and separation... And not just with other people, but with everything. Very hard to explain this with words but it is a state of awareness in which you are no longer identified with your physical form and with the temporary and conditioned aspects of your 'human identity'... You discover a 'sense of self' rooted in something much deeper, and transcendent... Not asking anyone to take my word for it - but to keep an open mind about this notion...

When a life experience is overwhelming and too difficult and challenging for us to consciously process, reconcile, and accept - it's like the mental/emotional reaction gets 'stuck' within us, and has no where to go (can't be released).... This is when it becomes an 'issue' for us and results in fears, sensitivities, and insecurities which can stay with us for a long time. Since the individual doesn't know how to work through (process) the challenging mental/emotional states that have surfaced - the instinctive reaction is to more or less push it away by trying to consciously avoid it or block it from our everyday state of consciousness... To push it into the subconscious mind, only to have it continue to affect us (subconsciously) and only to have it re-surface in a serious way later on in our life experiences... Sometimes you hear of individuals breaking down and allowing themselves to be vulnerable - and then an avalanche of previously suppressed/repressed emotional activity just pours out of them. Something they had been holding onto for a long time - because they previously could not consciously process it in a healthy/functional manner. And this is no knock on the individuals either - this is a natural part of the 'human experience'. What I'm describing above happens to everyone in some for or fashion - most evidently during our childhood/youth.

When we can and do consciously 'process' life's events and experiences in a healthy and functional manner - there is still emotional activity that surfaces, but it doesn't become 'stuck' inside of us and cause prolonged problems and conflicts. It's like it washes over us and passes through us. It doesn't get held onto and stored within us... This all ties back to one's state of awareness and conscious development ... The broader and more expansive our state of awareness, and the more refined our state of conscious development is - the more adept we become at being able to consciously process life's interactions and experiences in a healthy way... The less likely we are to accumulate 'emotional baggage' that would otherwise interfere wth our ability to experience contentment and peace of mind...

About 10 years ago I tried two different types of prescription medications - for about a year total... I also had issues with side effects and additionally had an extremely challenging withdrawal experience when I discontinued use of one of them. It wasn't long after that I realized that I wasn't going to be able to 'fix' my internal 'problems' with any type of quick-fix external solution (in this context, a pill)... I didn't know how I was going to heal myself - but I knew (in my case) I wasn't going to continue my previous 'strategy'... I had to continue searching...

In fact, I would later go on to experience the life-changing healing that I had longed for, for so long... And I can only tell you in hindsight that I now view my previous (and ultimately unsuccessful) efforts and strategies for healing myself with complete acceptance and understanding - because I realize that I necessarily had to explore and experience what ultimately would not work out for me, in order to finally guide/steer myself down the path that would bring about my healing and an end to my suffering. It's kind of like you're searching the entire house for something and you don't find it until you have looked everywhere else first and where it could not be found. You had to look everywhere before you would finally lead yourself to it's actual 'location'. Think of it kinda like a process of elimination.... You keep searching, and after enough searching you finally discover what you've been seeking all this time... And it changes everything!

I agree with Wolfgaze 100%. The 'Key' to our release (at times often elusive), is different for all of us. The important thing is to not ever give up searching for it.

No worries , I don't have bipolar. It's more like just getting emotional more than usual but it's not simply a positive mood, just simply being more emotional. It could include both negative and positive feelings, though with this crisis it was mostly negative. I don't know if there's a name for this kind of condition. But I do try to deal with it better than before.

The forward of the book is really over the top. The actual chapters are more practical. I was skeptical reading the forward too. Lol. Yes, the language is promotional and it's a self help book, but if you can get past the self help tone, it's actually good stuff.