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#1
Apr 19, 2018, 04:43 AM
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I was born out of marriage. My father worked abroad as a seafarer and my mother was a cashier in a convenient store. They got married when I was in 2nd year high school. The relationship between my parents were like of the drama series shown in the television. Papa will always have an affair with different women at work and while in vacation. I once saw Mama crying and asked her how does she take it...Knowing that Papa had other girlfriends during their early relationship and had abandoned her during her pregnancy with me. " I thought what would I say to you if you ask where is your papa, I don't want to say that he is dead." That was her reply. Every time that they will fight because of Papa's affair and see how it hurts Mama, I wish that I have never been born, I say to myself that it is because of me that this woman is hurt and is abused.
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 Anonymous50909, Anonymous57777, MickeyCheeky, mote.of.soul, Shazerac, Wild Coyote
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#2
Apr 20, 2018, 06:09 AM
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Hello. No, it's not because of you, please don't think that. You were just a little baby and the choice to come into the world wasn't yours - but here you are now. Marriages, relationships, families - families with children - often have problems, it's just the way it is going back to the dawn of time. Unfortunately the small child doesn't realize that and so internalizes the blame. Well, now is the time to un-internalize it and let go of the guilt and the sadness. I think a lot of people on this site are dealing with similar kinds of issues to do with their childhoods, I'm no different, so we need to try and unburden ourselves, however long it takes.
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| WANDERINGEMM, Wild Coyote
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 Wild Coyote
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#3
Apr 20, 2018, 08:03 AM
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 It is not your fault at all, please don't say that. It just happened that you were involved.. but you're not the one to blame for your mom's pain.
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| mote.of.soul, WANDERINGEMM, Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#4
Apr 20, 2018, 10:26 AM
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It’s not your fault you didn’t chose to be born. It’s very difficult to watch a parent putting up with abuse. It’s usually because they don’t know that life can be different.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
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| Wild Coyote
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| mote.of.soul, Wild Coyote
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#5
Apr 24, 2018, 03:24 AM
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You were the baby born of choices made by two adults. Their issues are not your fault. I am guessing you have brought your mom more comfort and joy than she would have had without you!
 It is very difficult to watch loved ones suffer with pain due to their own life choices. We are saddened; yet, it is not our fault. Live a good life!  WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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| mote.of.soul
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