[Ljj7000]

I’m going to keep this short.

I have an OCD problem. I graduated from community college back in May of this year. I walked across stage at 8:43 pm (I feel like 23 and 43 are “bad” numbers). I’m having trouble getting past it. I tried searching for help on other forums but the answers were disrespectful and vague.

Please help? Does it take time to let go of the past?

[ShadowGX]

I'm unsure the significance of the numbers to you, so I'll just answer the question directly... Yes, it takes time to let go of the past. How much time it takes will depend on the person and the severity of the past event(s). If you are able to discuss this with a therapist, they should be able to help you more than we can. I'm sorry for your struggle.

[MickeyCheeky]

It depends on the person but yes, it does take time But it can get better. I can assure you that.

it takes time

as for how long, sometimes I think I'll never let go of the past

[mote.of.soul]

Hi Ljj7000. Have you looked into 'mindfulness'? It's a mental process, a technique, which helps the person to remain focused in the present moment, so the mind doesn't keep wandering off in thought. It's been around for centuries but found it's way to the west in more recent times, and now the mental health field recommend it, too.

Congratulations on graduating as well. Great achievement.

[Sprinklesunicorn]

Originally Posted by Ljj7000

I’m going to keep this short.

I have an OCD problem. I graduated from community college back in May of this year. I walked across stage at 8:43 pm (I feel like 23 and 43 are “bad” numbers). I’m having trouble getting past it. I tried searching for help on other forums but the answers were disrespectful and vague.

Please help? Does it take time to let go of the past?

It really depends on the person. In my case, I let go off of my past pretty quickly. You just need that one shift of belief that whatever happens happens for good. Maybe if you start believing in that strongly, you'll never hold onto any bad past.

[Skeezyks]

Here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on how to let go of the past:

Learning to Let Go of Past Hurts: 5 Ways to Move On

Letting Go of the Past: Why Memories Remain Painful Over Time

Get Over It! 6 Ways To Overcome The Painful Past

10 Steps to Let Go of Obsessive Thoughts and Rewire a Painful Memory, 1 of 2 | Neuroscience and Relationships

10 Steps to Let Go of Obsessive Thoughts and Rewire a Painful Memory, 2 of 2 | Neuroscience and Relationships

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/dbt/2...omment-page-1/

I have found that some things from the past I never really let go of but I’ve learned to live with.

[My Paper Heart]

I have OCPD with OCD tendencies so I understand your feelings and your concern.

Unfortunately, the simple but not super helpful answer to how long it takes to get over stuff is: It depends. However, it's more complicated than "It depends on the person."

Sure, it depends on the person. But it also depends on how intense the feelings related to it are (e.g., how intensely do you feel that 43 is a bad number), how long ago the OCD pattern/belief became ingrained in you (i.e., the more recently your started following that pattern/belief the easier it'll be to 'fight' the feeling), how long ago the incident happened, if there's another way to look at it (e.g., would it change your feelings about it if you saw it as 843? Or what about considering that while the clock you looked at said 8:43, many other clocks in the building said 8:42 or 8:44?), how much other emotions are effected by your concern (i.e., the more you fret about obsessing over it, the worse you'll feel that it still bothers you and that can snowball easily), and a bunch of other variables that can affect how long it'll take you to let it go.


While these aren't quite like your situation, consider these three examples from my life:
- It took about 20 years for me to let go of the idea that my brother (who was 10 at the time and playing a video game in another room) let my father die of a heart attack. (It also took me 10 years before I'd stop wearing black on the anniversary. It took another 8 years before I could wear whatever color I wanted to on the day.)

- I said something in a college class 9 years ago that, to most people, would be considered endearing but because of the people in the class I felt mortified. I *still* cringe at the memory, although less so as time goes by.

- Earlier this summer, something happened that triggered my OCD and my germaphobia and I vowed to do something so it'd be impossible for it to happen again. Thanks to my thought perseveration, the image is burned into my brain and I thought I'd never be able to enter my kitchen again without the urge to puke. I forced myself into the kitchen every day and it got more tolerable each day. My "vow" lasted a month and while my OCD nags at me every day I don't keep my vow, I haven't been able to stick to it (although I think the OCD is nagging at me because I made a rule for myself and I'm not keeping it). So I guess you can say it took me a month to let go of this, or at least get it to the point where I could push the compulsion aside.


So again, there are a lot of factors that can affect how long it'll take you to get over it. I know this sucks to hear but, unfortunately, it's the truth.


Your best bet, though, is to talk with your therapist or psychologist about it. Also, have you ever considered medicine for it? Six weeks ago I started a medicine specifically aimed at helping my OCD and it's really helping.