[DechanDawa]

All my interactions with others this holiday season have been bad. I seem to be angry at everyone. This is the season to be angry at my stupid, inadequate, not functional family. They send me cringy things with cringy messages or no message and something cryptic and not understandable.

I realize I was doing better on my own...going here...going there...doing things on my own schedule. I went and hung out in some of my favorite places. I was okay.

But when I heard from family members I ended up having a meltdown.

I have way too much anger. My family just ruins all holidays.

[sarahsweets]

That sucks and I get it. I have some cringey family and some not cringey. I just try and let the bad parts fall away. They are not a reflection of me you know?

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry, DechanDawa Yes, holidays are hard to deal with, especially if you're not in a good relationship with your family. But at least it's over now. Good job on getting through it! Now take some time for yourself. Try to relax, and maybe give yourself a reward. If you still have some anger, maybe you can do some exercise, or go for a walk. Sending many hugs to you

[unaluna]

IKWYM. This year i was NOT the recipient of any last-minute holiday phone calls, and i was mercifully left to process the grief of holidays past without adding any new trauma, finally. It still wasnt sunday in the park with george, but it was okay.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry, DechanDawa Yes, holidays are hard to deal with, especially if you're not in a good relationship with your family. But at least it's over now. Good job on getting through it! Now take some time for yourself. Try to relax, and maybe give yourself a reward. If you still have some anger, maybe you can do some exercise, or go for a walk. Sending many hugs to you

Thank you, MiCh! These are good suggestions. I am starting a yoga class in the New Year.

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by unaluna

IKWYM. This year i was NOT the recipient of any last-minute holiday phone calls, and i was mercifully left to process the grief of holidays past without adding any new trauma, finally. It still wasnt sunday in the park with george, but it was okay.

You see...I get this. I was on my way into the end of the holiday and had managed to not have "any new trauma" but then last minute cards, phone calls, and gifts...attacked!

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by sarahsweets

That sucks and I get it. I have some cringey family and some not cringey. I just try and let the bad parts fall away. They are not a reflection of me you know?

Okay. I think I may have exaggerated. I had good interactions with non family people.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

You see...I get this. I was on my way into the end of the holiday and had managed to not have "any new trauma" but then last minute cards, phone calls, and gifts...attacked!

It does feel like an attack. It doesnt come from a good, welcoming place on their part, and when we are vulnerable, we do sense that, like 2 magnets repelling each other.

One time i asked my mother, why do you even invite me? And she answered: so you dont feel left out. Obviously i was already "left out."

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by unaluna

It does feel like an attack. It doesnt come from a good, welcoming place on their part, and when we are vulnerable, we do sense that, like 2 magnets repelling each other.

One time i asked my mother, why do you even invite me? And she answered: so you dont feel left out. Obviously i was already "left out."

I have this one brother who always sends weird things at Christmas. Like it looks like he opens up a drawer and just pulls out some random thing. This year he sent me a sticker of waves with the words Lost At Sea. I mean we all can feel awful at Christmas but I hate his weird, cryptic communications. Why not just send a freaking card? Every year I send him a nice card, a nice gift, and treats for his dog. And in return I just get some creepy thing I don't understand.

I think it is better to be invited and not left out, then to be left out. One Thanksgiving I called my sister and practically begged her to invite me for Thanksgiving. She wouldn't have it because she said I wouldn't like the other people. ********. She's dead now. And that's one of my last memories of her...how she insisted I be left out. For no good reason. People are just strangely self absorbed.

[DechanDawa]

I am more specifically angry at my family.

My oldest and dearest friend sent me a nice gift and card with a letter. She is usually uneven...but this holiday she got it right...and I feel grateful