the hurt doesnt go away!

Dec 06, 2018 at 08:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bill3

One option for easing the pain is to stop waiting.

The wound does not heal because it is being allowed to stay open.

You are not a baby, it is reasonable to want to know when someone is going to be part of your life, if ever.

If it had been a few years since you were with him, and you were not officially together even at that time, then I question his commitment to you.

Maybe it feels like rejection and abandonment because that is what he in fact has done.

You are evidently not getting any nearer to your goals. How long are you prepared to wait for him?

An option is to block him and look for someone who is willing to be available to you.

That looks like a healthy option to me.

Emma, Bill made a very good post, in my opinion. It resonated with me, anyway. What do you think?

In terms of feeling rejected and abandoned, I wonder if looking at it like it is just not the right fit, will soften the blow for you. It's true, when you think about it. Who wants to be with someone who is 25% in, 75% out? I think he's the wrong fit for you too.

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.

Dec 06, 2018 at 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KnitChick

Emma, Bill made a very good post, in my opinion. It resonated with me, anyway. What do you think?

In terms of feeling rejected and abandoned, I wonder if looking at it like it is just not the right fit, will soften the blow for you. It's true, when you think about it. Who wants to be with someone who is 25% in, 75% out? I think he's the wrong fit for you too.

You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you.

thank you for your responses.
the only thing is that i wont find any other suitable man... i am not an attractive kind of woman. i like people who dont like me

if you see what i mean. the only possibility for me is online dating... which you know what it is 90% of time. finding someone there is hard and it is still a random relationship with no love no nothing... so why bother. and i just dont want to spend my time getting upset about people on dating sites... i have better things to do. so I guess I just have to learn to be alone... and accept that I will be single forever. it is better to be alone than to be with a random guy who... also... who knows what he is doing behind your back. i am very cautious. i dont want other problems in my life.
learning to be single is hard... but one day I'll end up accepting it.

Dec 06, 2018 at 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emma345

thank you for your responses.
the only thing is that i wont find any other suitable man... i am not an attractive kind of woman. i like people who dont like me

if you see what i mean. the only possibility for me is online dating... which you know what it is 90% of time. finding someone there is hard and it is still a random relationship with no love no nothing... so why bother. and i just dont want to spend my time getting upset about people on dating sites... i have better things to do. so I guess I just have to learn to be alone... and accept that I will be single forever. it is better to be alone than to be with a random guy who... also... who knows what he is doing behind your back. i am very cautious. i dont want other problems in my life.
learning to be single is hard... but one day I'll end up accepting it.

Hi Emma. I am single and in the same boat as you at times when it comes to despairing about being alone. I have a book recommendation: How to be single (and happy). I am at the beginning of reading it, but it feels promising and its a good read so far.

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