Dilemma with what I want to do when I grow up...

sarahsweets · Apr 24, 2019 at 03:07 AM

I have a dilemma so please bear with me because this is long and emotionally charged. I have a BA in Eng Lit with a concentration in multiethnic lit. I graduated in '98 after I was married and had my first kid. I had always had mental health issues(bipolar, etc) and with each kid it got worse until I was nonfunctional and agoraphobic. I went on disability 12 years ago. I have made remarkable improvements and tossed around the idea of trying to do something with my life.

This past fall I enrolled in an into to teaching course. My plan was to go the alternate track for teaching over a period of 2 years and become a high school english teacher but my son had a stroke in November and I had to drop the course. The thing is I am very passionate about multiethnic literature and how underserved the minority community is when it comes to literature that is relative to their experiences. I saved all my papers and all the handouts and literature I studied in college in hopes of one day using it in some sort of profession. I personally feel that many school districts study Huckleberry Finn and then that is their section on ethnic literature-the rest is "text book" curriculum. I have all these ideas for how to revamp the school curriculum and for how I would like to open the eyes of students- make them "woke".

But I was thinking recently. Do I want to go for two years with a tract geared towards teaching a curriculum where I will most likely have to fall in line and will have to bend to a districts' ways in order to have a job or do I want to go further? The alternate track will leave me one or two semesters shy of my masters. I have been researching masters' degrees and it would take about the same amount of time and I feel like the freedom to tailor a curriculum might be more likely. I would be dealing with adults who pay to attend and who would choose to be in my classes. The masters program I am looking at is suited to set someone up to teach at the community college level and possibly go for their PHD while doing that. It costs more with job prospects being not as secure.

I could become certified to teach high school and it wouldn't be horrible but I do not think I would have the freedom I want. But the job would be good with good pay, possibility of tenure and benefits. And I would still be making an impression on young adults. But the master's idea is equally appealing because beyond the basics I would have more flexibility to pursue a passion. I would like to affect change and make a difference either way. I just do not know what to do. The masters program would cost more but either way I would have student loans to repay.

What would you all do? I do not think I would be miserable as a high school teacher and everything would be more secure but would I be happy? I am not sure.
I do not know if I should go for happiness purely or practicality. I did apply to be a sub teacher through a teacher staffing sight so I am waiting to hear back from them but that is mainly to earn extra money and get my feet wet. Any suggestions? How does one decide what's more important. I could be in the work force sooner as a HS teacher but that's not to say I wouldnt make it as a college adjunct. I am just very confused. Of course I could always get my teaching certificate and maybe pursue a masters while doing that but once settled somewhere I do not know if I would be willing to switch tracks.

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Dilemma with what I want to do when I grow up...

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