[vesseloflove]

Does anyone have advice on how to avoid taking on the emotions and problems of your loved ones? My husband is really discouraged and depressed about his job right now, and it's hard not to feel that way too. It breaks my heart to see him so sad. I'm looking forward to your responses!

[Skeezyks]

Here are links to 8 articles, from PC's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help with this:

Is Depression Contagious?

When Your Spouse Is Depressed | The Gentle Self

Suffering in Silence: When Your Spouse Is Depressed

3 Self-Care Tips While Loving Someone With Depression

How You Can Better Love a Partner With Depression

5 Ways to Grow Together When Depression Enters a Relationship

6 Ways to Stop Absorbing Other People's Emotions

8 Ways to Cope with Contagious Stress

I think trying to remain objective with your emotions and your sympathy while maintaining your own sense of self, separate from your husband, may help. It’s his difficulty right now that you sympathize with but you don’t need to shoulder it as though it’s your own. What helps the most is when one person has troubles, the other person remains positive and upbeat. That actually can help your husband. Just my two cents! I mean you can certainly emphasize with his pain but his pain doesn’t need to be yours too.

[vesseloflove]

Thanks so much for these articles! I appreciate your help and research.

[vesseloflove]

Yes, this is great advice. I have also been reminded lately that my husband has to learn his own life lessons through trials, and trying to rescue him will rob him of an opportunity to learn and grow. Thanks so much for this advice!

[MickeyCheeky]

It's WONDERFUL that you feel empathy for what your husband is going through, vesseloflove, but it's important NOT to let that empathy overwhelm you! Definitely try to distance yourself a little bit! Remember to take care of yourself! Do something nice like going out with your friends, focusing on your hobbies and having as much fun as you can without neglecting your duties and your husband of course! That way you'll be able to BETTER support your husband in what he's going through and hopefully he'll appreciate that! It is important to take care of ourselves and not only of other people! That way you'll be able to provide THE BEST SUPPORT in my humble opinion! Keep that in mind! Let us know if you and your husband need advice and support and if you're making ANY progress together! WE'LL BE HERE FOR YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK TO BOTH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND IN YOUR LIVES! Sending many AWESOME, kind, safe, sweet, warm, wise and WONDERFUL HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND, VESSELOFLOVE, JUST LIKE THE WAY YOU BOTH ARE!

[vesseloflove]

MickeyCheeky,

I SO appreciate your kindness and empathy and caring advice. Self-care is something I'm not naturally great at, but have been learning to prioritize. I had a particular hard day emotionally yesterday, so today I'm practicing self-care by spending time alone in a rainy coffee shop , working on homework, and just BEING. Thank you for this reminder, I really appreciate your care.

[Kbaker17]

I am currently dealing with this same problem! What has helped me to help him is getting him to talk about how he is currently feeling. I try to stay as positive as I can, but yet be there for him. I try to plan stuff to get his mind off of things, even it's just a simple walk. Overall try to be there as much as I can, even if it brings me down a little

[URBeautiful]

Originally Posted by vesseloflove

MickeyCheeky,

I SO appreciate your kindness and empathy and caring advice. Self-care is something I'm not naturally great at, but have been learning to prioritize. I had a particular hard day emotionally yesterday, so today I'm practicing self-care by spending time alone in a rainy coffee shop , working on homework, and just BEING. Thank you for this reminder, I really appreciate your care.

Self-care is extremely important, I struggle with it also. Doing small things to keep yourself sane is an awesome tool. I love sitting at my local coffee shop to study. A simple change in scenery can make all the difference. I think the best thing you can do is try to balance the empathy given. When he's home let him complain and let him know you're there and love him but when he leaves to go to work let the problems go with him. That way you can focus on yourself and what you need to do to accomplish your goals. Try not to let the things you can't change bring you down. Instead, try to focus on the things you can control and be there to pick him up (to an extent). Mostly struggling with this just shows you have a big heart. Stay strong.