It took me years to draw boundaries between me and my father. For years he was texting me EVERY SINGLE DAY. I felt he wanted to know everything, and intervene in my life. He wanted to make decisions on my behalf. To tell me what to do/decide.

The last time I moved in with my parents because of financial situation was decisive in our relationship. We fought all the time, and when I left I wanted to cut off the relationship with them once and for all, but guilt made me limit my communication with them to bare minimum only, (e.g., a couple of calls a month) and that's it. I was happy with this limit.

Recently, my father was asking me about a job interview (I made the mistake of telling him about) for 3-4 days in a row, and I snapped at him as a result because he triggered these old feelings in me that he wants to control my life and know everything. I ended saying to him that I didn't mean to snap because I felt guilty after I snapped at him, and I said I was upset from the interview because it didn't go well, which isn't completely true. I was angry at him and his text messages.

Now he took me saying this as a sign that I don't mind him to keep texting me. So, basically he's returned to his old habit of texting me every single day. I am very angry and upset about this. I don't know why he doesn't respect what I want. I feel he wants to control my life all over again, and I live 1000s of miles away. If I tell him I prefer him not to text me, he will be sad, and I will feel guilty again. I told him many times, if there is something I feel I want to share, I will share it with you, but I don't have the oblation to. Also, I told him if he is worried about me, not to be. Assume I am OK, unless I say otherwise, or you hear about me from someone else. But he doesn't listen.

Now I feel frustrated, and angry, and while I was able to read things in the last few days to improve my chances getting a job, with this negative feelings I couldn't read anything today. He gets in the way of my life ALL THE TIME.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing this. Relationships with parents can be such a struggle. Mine are both long since dead now. But I still catch myself ruminating over the relationships I had with them oh so many years ago. I know I've replied to some of your previous posts. And I don't recall what articles (from PC's archives) I may have given you. So if I'm being redundant please forgive me. However here are links to 7 articles on the subject of boundaries & what to do when people repeatedly violate them:

How to Set Boundaries with Kindness | Happily Imperfect

Tips on Setting Boundaries in Enmeshed Relationships

5 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with Difficult People

When People Cross Your Boundaries

5 Tips for Setting Boundaries (Without Feeling Guilty) | Happily Imperfect

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imper...ur-boundaries/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sex-a...dos-and-donts/

[dontfollow]

It's your life, make of it what you will. Sometimes parents don't understand, because of their own upbringing and their unique worldview. Be true to thine self.