[Lavenderlilly]

How did you come to bring yourself to finally go get help and be honest in how you were feeling or things you were thinking? I want to go get help but I'm embarrassed and scared. I'm scared I'll breakdown talking with a therapist and walk out looking like a puffy eyed mess, I'm scared I'll have to admit how bad I'm doing when on the outside I look strong and put together, I'm scared I'll have to accept I'm severely depressed and or have anxiety issues and or whatever else could be wrong with me, scared to be prescribed meds, scared if I'm really honest they might want to lock me away for 3 days if I admit some days I swear itll be my last, I'm scared to admit to another human all the things that happened to me in my past still hurt today and even worse. I want help but I'm embarrassed I need it, i feel like the only help is medication, I dont want medication to trick my brain into being happy, I want to actually resolve the issues but how can you change the past that's affecting your present moment and your future? How do you bring yourself to walk in a breakdown in front of a doctor or shrink or whatever and say I'm hurting give me meds to numb me??? How do you not feel deceived knowing you haven't resolved anything only tricked your brain with meds? Is there really even help?

[sarahsweets]

Hi @Lavenderlilly

Originally Posted by Lavenderlilly

I dont want medication to trick my brain into being happy,

I just wanted to put your mind at ease regarding meds. They are not for happiness. They treat a chemical balance. The happiness part is what you work on in therapy.

[Lavenderlilly]

Thank you, I guess I didnt think of it that way but it does make sense. I guess happiness will be a journey and not in a pill.

I hope being here on the forum helps.

it's a really good step

[Breaking Dawn]

Maybe your primary doctor can refer you to the right person for you; maybe even group therapy. I hope you find what you need.