[Cardooney]

I am not sure how I feel anymore. I feel emotional, but I think my emotions away. My emotions keep coming back, and I correct myself

I’m depressed, anxious, scared, traumatized.
If I were a child I’d be having a tantrum.

I am not sure how to express my emotions in a proper way. My solution has been to stifle. I’ve been willing to complain. I don’t really see a change to be had other than starting over or quitting, which is not a solution now or maybe ever. The choice I see is to endure and stay positive as much as possible.
How do i emote without hurting others or seeming dissatisfied?
I was religiously trained to be grateful for anything and everything.
And to have emotional control so god would know I’m wise and obedient
I’ve not been religious for ages, so this way of thinking isn’t helping anymore
I don’t know if I need a new process, or just a new way of labeling the process.

I want to feel free
I am so exhausted from problems
I want to escape to a fantasy world

I think I’m triggered because my daughters age. I can’t think straight
I want to emote but I worry i will explode or implode

[Mendingmysoul]

Since the past two days,I feel like crying ,but can't. There seems to be something that you just have explained in your post.Some get relief by projecting onto others.But people like us can't project.The turmoil simmers,boils and sometimes erupts creating much emotional distress. I am so sorry.

[Cardooney]

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

Some get relief by projecting onto others.But people like us can't project.

Good point!

How to let it out when one doesn’t have a designated way to do so?
I know all the good and bad ways to express emotions, I guess.
But it feels stuck, suppressed. Stifled.
I did just cry watching something sad on you tube—and no lie—I was chopping onions at the same time. So quite a few tears fell. My chest heaved a few times, like when crying, but it felt superficial.

My emotion is so deep it’s very difficult to let out.

It’s weird that I just keep thinking that there has got to be something better I can offer of myself. I don’t know why such thought comes to mind. I think I want to give something wonderful so I can be loved and needed.
Is that okay?

I am loved and needed by my family and a few friends, but is that enough?

I think maybe I’ve underestimated the amount of thoughts I’m suppressing. Or I’m in a blurry state between thought and emotion.

Ugh. Confused.

[Mendingmysoul]

I feel my brain got programmed to feel worthless and for eternity.I am a pathalogical people pleaser.Nothing I do feels good enough.This strong message was driven home by others,which I believed for a long time.

[Mendingmysoul]

And thoughts become feelings and feelings become emotions and emotions physically manifest as expressions.For some people this flow is interrupted and stuck.Results in turmoil and confusion and psychological pain.

[Cardooney]

I am sorry you were programmed to feel worthless. I relate. I can be a people pleaser too and often it works out but can sometimes have negative consequences. I am a skeptic so that helps.

Flow is good. Clogged feels bad.

Where’s the plunger

[Cardooney]

boiling over now.
Feels bad but it’s progress.

[MickeyCheeky]

It is hard to let go of our own emotions. Keep trying. It is not good to keep everything bottled up. Are you seeing a therapist? I'd consider it if you can afford it! .throb: You are a wonderful person. Don't you EVER forget that, my awesome, dear, kind annd sweet friend! I am here if you need someone to talk to and vent to. I am SURE plenty of tohers will be REALLY glad to help you as well. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Cardooney, your Family, your Friends, your Daughter, your Pals and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?

[Cardooney]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

It is hard to let go of our own emotions. Keep trying. It is not good to keep everything bottled up. Are you seeing a therapist? I'd consider it if you can afford it! .throb: You are a wonderful person. Don't you EVER forget that, my awesome, dear, kind annd sweet friend! I am here if you need someone to talk to and vent to. I am SURE plenty of tohers will be REALLY glad to help you as well. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Cardooney, your Family, your Friends, your Daughter, your Pals and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?

Thanks @MickeyCheeky! You give me a smile
You are awesome too! thank u for the comfort

[Fuzzybear]