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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
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Nov 07, 2019 at 03:06 PM
#1
Hey..
I am venting... I have no absolute reason for my ****** behavior... I feel really ****** at the smallest rejection even if it comes from people I dont like? Why the **** do I feel like such an entitled prick? A girl who used to like me at work which I did not like got a boyfriend ..suddenly I feel like **** and annoyed .. If I text a girl or even a friend (But it feels a lot more awful when its a girl, I dont text often so its not like I am being needy) and she does not reply in 5 minutes, I usually go to her facebook to check if she is online, and if she is, it means that she is not paying attention to me (and in my mind she talks with some other dude).. it makes me feel awful and annoyed. This is borderline obsessive I think, and I should not have this feelings this is not normal. At times I text to see if she just replies.. which I know its wrong like its a looser like behavior . Cant figure out what is wrong with me and how to fix it.. Ideas? |
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 Anonymous49105, Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
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 bpcyclist, Buffy01, MickeyCheeky
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: Morriston, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8
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Nov 07, 2019 at 09:17 PM
#2
I've had problems with fb and not getting g responses nor replies. Even if I text a friend on my cell I may not hear from them back soon and often I have to initiate any conversation with them. It doesnt seem righy but thats the way it is...
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bpcyclist
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Portland
Posts: 12,681
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Nov 08, 2019 at 11:28 AM
#3
Is this mostly about one girl, or everyone?
Maybe try not to spend time keeping tabs on others' online status. I don't think it is helping you. Are you lonely? Do you have a girlfriend? Do you want one? __________________ When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield |
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
5 |
Nov 08, 2019 at 12:17 PM
#4
Quote:
I think I am lonely. No I dont have a girlfriend. I would like one, but not anyone, someone cute and interesting Maybe try not to spend time keeping tabs on others' online status. I don't think it is helping you. ^ This is the problem, I keep tabs when I have the feeling that people might ignore me for no reason.. cause I dont think I am needy or text them a lot .. It happens for friends or for people I feel I have a connection with, not everyone.. but if I like a girl I do obsess more about it. If a girl from tinder starts ignore me after 2-3 days of chat I am fine about it. "Eh it did not work" state of mind. But if a girl I like or a friend starts doing it it bothers me so much .. I think this might be OCD related not sure.. |
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| Anonymous49105, Discombobulated, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Nov 10, 2019 at 08:44 PM
#5
I'm sorry you're dealing with insecurity and what you call obsessiveness. I can relate, actually. My ideas: 1.) Be kinder to yourself. This behavior and thought pattern had to have come from somewhere and it was probably a painful place. Beating yourself up over feeling pain probably isn't the most helpful thing. 2.) Maybe find a hobby. Do something you really enjoy and are interested in. Maybe then you will be busy with that instead of checking up on people on facebook, etc. 3.) Consider therapy.
You'll get through this. It may not feel like it now. But personal growth takes time, and sometimes life really hurts. Go easy on yourself. Edit: I just read your follow up post. I have a 4th idea for you too. Are you social? Or more isolated? What about connecting more with people and engaging more in your community? That is, if you don't already. What happens when you try not to check on them? What if you just "sat" with those feelings of worry. |
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| Discombobulated
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Discombobulated
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
5 |
Nov 11, 2019 at 02:00 PM
#6
I am pretty social, I have a lot of friends, the people at work like me..
The problem is when these feelings kick in.. And when it comes to a girl I like, or I am interested in, I have HUGE HUGE trust issues... if I have the feeling she is doing something shady (even if she is not) just my insecurity .. I wont even trust her when she is telling me what she had for breakfast .. Not sure what I should do.. |
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| Discombobulated
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: USA
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Nov 12, 2019 at 07:40 AM
#7
How were you treated when you were growing up?
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| Fuzzybear
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
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Nov 12, 2019 at 11:18 AM
#8
Quote:
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| Bill3, Fuzzybear
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Bill3
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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 23
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Nov 12, 2019 at 01:18 PM
#9
Have you maybe dealt with behavior where a person acted as if this person had the final say when it comes to what's right or not? So maybe like you thought something and then this person agreed or disagreed as a way of letting you know what you thought was right or not instead of letting you have your own thoughts regardless of what other people think about it.
Quote:
Last edited by Blueskyx; Nov 12, 2019 at 01:39 PM.. |
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
5 |
Nov 12, 2019 at 01:52 PM
#10
Quote:
There were cases in which I had the last word and I was right and cases in which I was wrong And there were cases in which the other person had the last word even though the person was right or wrong.. Regarding the manipulative behavior .. you are right .. I feel like she does that a lot ..or she tries to hide dumb things .. she acts like she is doing some really mysterious, when in truth she does basic things like going to a friends birthday.. |
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Junior Member
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: Europe
Posts: 23
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Nov 12, 2019 at 02:25 PM
#11
I don't mean if you or an other person was right or wrong, what I was thinking of where issues regarding external validation.
4 Ways to Stop Relying on External Validation | Talkspace The examples I gave can be things that can cause or contribute to something like that, a person acting like it's up to them to decide (or at least have something to say about) whether your thoughts or beliefs are right or not can cause a person to unconsciously belief that what others think/feel (about them) has more value than own beliefs or what a person believes about themself. |
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,458
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Nov 13, 2019 at 11:57 PM
#12
Quote:
 
__________________ 
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
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Nov 19, 2019 at 09:56 PM
#13
Quote:
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| Bill3
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Member
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Covington ga
Posts: 44
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Nov 20, 2019 at 11:54 AM
#14
I wish I had some advice for you, I also have a very hard time with rejection. Most people, do, I guess it’s more about learning How to handle our difficult emotions about it that’s the key.
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| Bill3
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2019
Location: China
Posts: 8
5 |
Nov 24, 2019 at 04:34 AM
#15
A little bit of good news, I am controlling my behavior right now, focusing a little bit on my self more and not checking the messaging apps that much. I am more aware of what is happening
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Bill3
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