[jrae]

I'm scared out of my mind and feel all alone. i see things getting worse month by month (some times every couple weeks), and I'm terrified where this is gonna end up. [8 months of medical stuff]

yesterday i was so scared that my body was actually shaking a little. and i have super steady hands

[~Christina]

What are your fears ?

[MickeyCheeky]

I COMPLETELY agree with the WISE and WONDERFUL @~Christina! Are you afraid of anything specifically? I remember that you were getting through a lot so it's no wonder that you'd feel so tired and depressed! That would help you to fight your fears and acknowledge that there's NOTHING wrong with you! Please do keep fighting. Remember that you're stronger than you think and that you CAN do this! Please keep writing and sharing here if it helps. Are youc urrently seeing a Pdoc or a Therapist? Any doctors or professional figures that can help you? Give it a try if you can afford it! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @jrae, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking, no matter what happens, ok?

[Breaking Dawn]

Dear jrae, I have had horrible fear so I know how crippling it can be. Until this moment in your life subsides, try counting softly to yourself, & visualize beautiful things that you love. Imagine a friend being with you. Or talk to your aunt. Imagine her beside you & what she would be saying to you. And you have us. Like Mickey Cheeky says, keep writing & sharing. So we can be a source of support for you.
Lots of hugs to you!!

Hi jrae, are you dealing with physical health issues? Or mental health related? That was not clear to me in your post. Regardless, I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through! To feel like you're getting worse can't be a good feeling. Do you have supports?

[jrae]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

What are your fears ?

I guess they could mainly fall into two categories: 1) my brain injury symptoms don't get better or get worse, or 2) that I will need surgery of some kind, either brain or eyes.
at any rate, it's dam terrifying .

for example, last week the doctor found two more things going on with my eyes -> added up that's a total of 7 different things going on with my eyes (related to my brain injury)!!!

[jrae]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

... Please keep writing and sharing here if it helps. Are youc urrently seeing a Pdoc or a Therapist? Any doctors or professional figures that can help you? Give it a try if you can afford it! ...

physically speaking, in 8 months I've seen 7 different doctors! number nine is in four weeks. how about that?!

otherwise.... I thought about that the other day. so thinking I could maybe use an extra time or two with my T, I called to schedule an appt. usually it's like a month wait, so I was already looking at early December. I called on 11/07 and was told the FIRST available opening was 12/31! wow is all I can say. maybe that is a sign of some sort.....

[jrae]

Originally Posted by WovenGalaxy

Hi jrae, are you dealing with physical health issues? Or mental health related? That was not clear to me in your post. Regardless, I'm sorry you're going through what you're going through! To feel like you're getting worse can't be a good feeling. Do you have supports?

sadly, it is both! and it's not just a feeling of getting worse - it's totally noticeable! and at the same time, having next to nothing for support IRL, so also feeling very alone in all this

Originally Posted by jrae

sadly, it is both! and it's not just a feeling of getting worse - it's totally noticeable! and at the same time, having next to nothing for support IRL, so also feeling very alone in all this

We are here for you.

Hey, I wonder if there's a support group for what you're dealing with? Regardless, I am glad myself to have PC as a place to vent and get support from people here when I need.

[jrae]

when the doctor orders a specific test that checks for brain aneurysms, that's enough to scare the s**t out of anyone!?!

then all you can say is -> dam, things just got REAL serious REAL fast!

[jrae]

the scared / fear-fire is ever growing!

this week the optometrist found another thing going on with my eyes -> that's 8 now!!!


The new thing he discovered is that I have vitreous collapse in both eyes, something that is called vitreous detachment. The not-so-good news is that one of the possible complications of vitreous detachment is a retinal detachment. In other words, having vitreous detachment increases the risk of having a retinal detachment. The problem this creates is that I am already at an increased risk of retinal detachment due to the extreme nearsightedness I have, and this is in both eyes! This could potentially create a big problem, since a retinal detachment is an emergency situation that requires surgery.

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, jrae! I was thinking, maybe there are special eye vitamins you can take that would make your eyes stronger. Do you have a store near you that sells things like that? I'll be wishing for you.

[Breaking Dawn]

P.S. I forgot to mention, maybe also tell a knowledgeable person there at the store what your problem is, & they might know which vitamins or supplements you need.