[Turtleboy]

i don't know where to start, my father has stage 4 cancer all through his body, i spent 10 years being abused by a narcissist, i'm trying so hard to not be a family problem but i cant breathe, i have been having seizures for 4 months now, just this week i had one doing the shopping, i really hurt myself when i hit the concrete, it's not even the worst, last month i had one and broke my ribs and got very badly cut because the tabe i went through was full of glass, i'm still scarred
i'm so scared and i'm so alone i cant stop crying, fwiw i have bpd and schizo effective , i feel so empty and alone i just need one single human to be nice to me, please just once, i need someone, anyone to say one nice thing, i was so badly injured from the table thing i was bed ridden for about 2 months, i was put on ap's a decade ago, i got well over 300 lbs, i lost it all but that seems to make people angry, i dont understand, i need help, my country is about 20 years behind everyone else, i know i am/was a moderator here and there is skepticism about us, i'm a person and i'm very sick and everyone thinks it's funny to bully me (irl) i just need one nice person to see i'm human

[continuosly blue]

I’m sorry your going thru so much pain. There is somebody out there who gives a ****. Don’t give up. God bless you and help you overcome your difficulties.

[Turtleboy]

thank you so much

[MickeyCheeky]

You are human. You problems matter and you DO matter as the WONDERFUL human being that you are. I am TRULY, DEEPLY SORRY THAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS, @Turtleboy! WE ALL CARE ABOUT YOU HERE, ALL OF US! THAT'S A PROMISE! I PROMISE YOU THAT! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! YOU CAN COUNT ON ALL OF US! Please take things one step at the time. They CAN and WILL get better with time! Just try to do what you can at the moment. Are you already seeing a Doctor and a Pdoc? Are you already taking some Meds to help you with your Seixures? Please DO take care of yourself as much as you possibly can, my dear, sweet, AWESOME AND KIND FRIEND! Please feel free to vent here or through PM to the people you trust here. Just because you're a Moderator that doesn't mean that you can't ask for Support here! That's what we are ALL here for after all! ALL OF US ARE HERE TO HELP YOU! So please, keep reaching out for Support here! My Inbox is ALWAYS open for you when you need someone to talk to or vent to and I am SURE plenty of others will be REALLY GLAD and REALLY HAPPY to help you out as well! You WON'T BE JUDGED and you will be treated with Kindness by ALL OF US! THAT'S A PROMISE! I PROMISE YOU THAT! YOU CAN REST ASSURED OF THAT! YOU CAN COUNT ON ALL OF US! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Turtleboy, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?

[Turtleboy]

micky ty so much this touched me on such a deep level, i'm not religious but bless you and your kind heart, i really needed that, thank you so much

[Discombobulated]

Turtleboy I am sorry to read you are having a hard time in many different ways right now. You are coping with a lot.

I just wanted to thank you, a few years back on here (as my previous username) I got some rather nasty messages from someone- you were the mod who dealt with it. You were kind, compassionate and professional- you have no idea how much your calm professionalism helped me. You mods do a great job!

I hope you will receive some kindness in return- you deserve it.

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. do you take medication for your seizures?

Edit: also I love that MickeyCheeky said to take things one thing at a time. I agree. Things will get better. Situations and emotions are not set in stone.

[LilyMop]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds like it's a particularly rough time and I understand how important support is. This is a nice place to come to when you need to talk about things. Hang in there. Sometimes that's all we can do. As others have said, hopefully you have access to health care and medications you need.

[Fuzzybear]

Turtleboy I'm so sorry you're going through so much pain. I'm sending much respect and care to you.

[Fuzzybear]

PS my cave isn't that far from yours. I agree with ''our country is about 20 years behind everyone else''
I've been bullied by a few (irl) for stating that.

I hope things improve soon for you. You don't deserve any of this pain

[TunedOut]

I am sorry you are bearing such a heavy burden. I don't know how you do it other than you have no other choice. It makes sense that you are scared. I would be too. Hoping you get more help! Hoping it gets better soon! Your luck has to change. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

[Turtleboy]

this place taught me so much, before i got here i couldn't even hold a conversation, thank you all so much, for once my tears are from happiness, such wonderful people and such a great community. each and every one of you reaching out made me feel so supported and cared for, you all will never know what this means to me

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Turtleboy

this place taught me so much, before i got here i couldn't even hold a conversation, thank you all so much, for once my tears are from happiness, such wonderful people and such a great community. each and every one of you reaching out made me feel so supported and cared for, you all will never know what this means to me

Turtleboy

[*Beth*]

You have love vibes coming to you from California. ~**~* *~**~

Take it easy on yourself, really easy. Your facing some genuinely rough challenges.

By the way, I've visited Ireland and found it absolutely enchanting! There are surely some ways it's behind, but in many ways Ireland is far ahead of the States. I was deeply impressed by certain things.

[bluekoi]

Turtleboy, My thoughts are with you. I wish I could take away your pain. You're a good man. Please know I love and respect you.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Sorry to hear turtleboy, I hope things get better for you.....

[CANDC]

Originally Posted by Turtleboy

i don't know where to start, my father has stage 4 cancer all through his body, i spent 10 years being abused by a narcissist, i'm trying so hard to not be a family problem but i cant breathe, i have been having seizures for 4 months now, just this week i had one doing the shopping, i really hurt myself when i hit the concrete, it's not even the worst, last month i had one and broke my ribs and got very badly cut because the tabe i went through was full of glass, i'm still scarred
i'm so scared and i'm so alone i cant stop crying, fwiw i have bpd and schizo effective , i feel so empty and alone i just need one single human to be nice to me, please just once, i need someone, anyone to say one nice thing, i was so badly injured from the table thing i was bed ridden for about 2 months, i was put on ap's a decade ago, i got well over 300 lbs, i lost it all but that seems to make people angry, i dont understand, i need help, my country is about 20 years behind everyone else, i know i am/was a moderator here and there is skepticism about us, i'm a person and i'm very sick and everyone thinks it's funny to bully me (irl) i just need one nice person to see i'm human

TB, I am genuinely sorry you are facing so many challenges right now.

I cannot find words to say about all this because it sounds so difficult to face all at once.

You are always top on my list of people I like to talk to in PM or post. It sounds like you are kind of baffled what to do. Even walking somewhere is dangerous.

I do not know what to say about bullies IRL because they seem to be everywhere on the Internet and even in the way some people act to others. In some people's way of thinking, unfortunately, caring about others seems to have diminished in their eyes in importance and self interests and self glorification seem to be on the rise.

Fortunately there are many who are facing this challenge with compassion for all that suffer and by focusing on others some of the time so they get a slight diminishment in the feelings of isolation and an increased feeling of being connected. You are not alone as the world seems to be treating people all over the world very poorly.

Feel free to PM me. I count you as a friend and associate and would be happy to hear from you.
@CANDC

[Turtleboy]

i apologize for bumping this but what you all said made such a huge difference to me, candc and bk, make the purple title mean something hehe, everyone else, you took time from your life to let me know i'm not alone, no words can say how you all made me feel

[CANDC]

Turtleboy thanks for your kind words. We are here for you
@CANDC

[bluekoi]

Please don't apologize, Turtleboy. You're awesome!



Crap, I just dumped a glass of water on my hard drive. Lucky it wasn't a glass of red wine.