[TishaBuv]

I have very mixed feelings about an important relationship. I’m hopelessly conflicted! I am not taking any action due to my shifting feelings.

Does anyone else get like this?

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, TishaBuv, it sounds like you're still getting to know this person. So what you're doing is probably the right thing for now. I'm that way, too. Give the relationship more time & more details will gradually reveal themselves. I almost always remember that old saying, "you can't judge a book by its cover." Does this fit with what you're talking about?

[TunedOut]

My guy makes decisions and doesn't second guess what he decided. I do. I think I have sympathy about all sides of many issues to the point that I have been in complete confusion. Though I am a kind mother, wife and boss (when I was in supervisory roles), I am not a good leader because of the way I change course and am sometimes indecisive. I know it and accept it (but am trying to improve while accepting that some of it won't change).

At least you are more decisive than I am about other things.

But I am mostly at the point of acceptance which is very good--sorry this is still such a big struggle for you.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn

Hi, TishaBuv, it sounds like you're still getting to know this person. So what you're doing is probably the right thing for now. I'm that way, too. Give the relationship more time & more details will gradually reveal themselves. I almost always remember that old saying, "you can't judge a book by its cover." Does this fit with what you're talking about?

There’s a part of me that’s fearful, feeling like I don’t know him, but I have for many years. Trust issues!

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

My guy makes decisions and doesn't second guess what he decided. I do. I think I have sympathy about all sides of many issues to the point that I have been in complete confusion. Though I am a kind mother, wife and boss (when I was in supervisory roles), I am not a good leader because of the way I change course and am sometimes indecisive. I know it and accept it (but am trying to improve while accepting that some of it won't change).

At least you are more decisive than I am about other things.

But I am mostly at the point of acceptance which is very good--sorry this is still such a big struggle for you.

I am still really struggling.

[mote.of.soul]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I have very mixed feelings about an important relationship. I’m hopelessly conflicted! I am not taking any action due to my shifting feelings.

Does anyone else get like this?

Yes, I get like that, @TishaBuv. And normally after x-amount of time in such a conflicted state, approaching it in different ways and from different angles, if I'm still conflicted then I get tired of being conflicted - so, it's time to do something else about it, time to change something. Or accept the conflictedness as part of the relationship and only focus on the happy side, I guess.

[LilyMop]

I think the best thing is to do just what you said and not take any action at this point. Give yourself sometimes to work through things in your mind and in your heart.

[Have Hope]

Oh yes.... as you know, I can relate to how you feel! Sorry you are struggling so much! I hope you can find resolution. HUGS.

[TishaBuv]

Originally Posted by Have Hope

Oh yes.... as you know, I can relate to how you feel! Sorry you are struggling so much! I hope you can find resolution. HUGS.

I’m enjoying a break, just alone with my kids this week. He went to his 4th Annual Guys’ Week (you heard it...week). I was glad he went so we could stop fighting. It’s all about intimacy. Too embarrassing to explain.

When he comes back we start seeing a new psychologist who will hopefully get to the bottom of all this. I’m scared about opening up again with a new t. I hope he doesn’t say anything too disparaging that gets under my skin.

I feel so guilty about being so miserable and traumatized.

[Have Hope]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

I’m enjoying a break, just alone with my kids this week. He went to his 4th Annual Guys’ Week (you heard it...week). I was glad he went so we could stop fighting. It’s all about intimacy. Too embarrassing to explain.

When he comes back we start seeing a new psychologist who will hopefully get to the bottom of all this. I’m scared about opening up again with a new t. I hope he doesn’t say anything too disparaging that gets under my skin.

I feel so guilty about being so miserable and traumatized.

A week's break is probably just what you need right now! It will help you to gain some perspective and distance...

Just be honest with how you feel when you see the new T. Be honest with your perspective, and most importantly, how you feel within the relationship. If it's mixed feelings, be honest, and if you're unhappy, be honest.

That's what I am going to do IF we ever go to see a counselor.