[Neverever86]

I’m starting to feel I’ll never get to have the love I’ve always wanted. All my life all i wanted was a boyfriend this obsession has led to most of my anxiety:. I made posts in the past about being in love with a video game character now I’m even more in love with another video game character from same game. This one is even better means a lot to me and I know it’s pointless. I know I’ll never find a real guy who looks like him and that hurts. I barely go out due to my anxiety when I do I never even see guys in real that do anything for me I just rarely find guys that do it for me I know part of it is because I feel no guy would ever like me due to my experience long ago. I used to crush on every guy when I was in school now it’s different and I’m just afraid I’ll never find a guy to love and be with. No guys I feel is gonna be more attractive than this video game character and also I’m my early 30s already I feel like time to find who I want is taken away from me. I’m also afraid s guy won’t want to be with me when they learn all my anxieties not being able to work I feel like they won’t want to get involved . I just feel like this is hopeless and that I should just forget about it. I have a new therapist but she is useless I have to talk to her on phone due to coronavirus and it’s just not helping. She also doesn’t do any cbt which I need her to do I selected her because it said she did that but all she does is talk to me. I’ve been to several different therapists in a decade and no one is able to help. I just don’t know where to begin my family doesn’t understand how sad I really am I just don’t know what to do please anyone have an advice

[EagleTears]

Originally Posted by Neverever86

I’m starting to feel I’ll never get to have the love I’ve always wanted. All my life all i wanted was a boyfriend this obsession has led to most of my anxiety:. I made posts in the past about being in love with a video game character now I’m even more in love with another video game character from same game. This one is even better means a lot to me and I know it’s pointless. I know I’ll never find a real guy who looks like him and that hurts. I barely go out due to my anxiety when I do I never even see guys in real that do anything for me I just rarely find guys that do it for me I know part of it is because I feel no guy would ever like me due to my experience long ago. I used to crush on every guy when I was in school now it’s different and I’m just afraid I’ll never find a guy to love and be with. No guys I feel is gonna be more attractive than this video game character and also I’m my early 30s already I feel like time to find who I want is taken away from me. I’m also afraid s guy won’t want to be with me when they learn all my anxieties not being able to work I feel like they won’t want to get involved . I just feel like this is hopeless and that I should just forget about it. I have a new therapist but she is useless I have to talk to her on phone due to coronavirus and it’s just not helping. She also doesn’t do any cbt which I need her to do I selected her because it said she did that but all she does is talk to me. I’ve been to several different therapists in a decade and no one is able to help. I just don’t know where to begin my family doesn’t understand how sad I really am I just don’t know what to do please anyone have an advice

I don't know what to tell you other than I think you should try to avoid playing those video games as much as possible. Maybe uninstalling might be for the best. I don't think it's good for you mentally. To fall in love with a virtual character.. that's just my opinion of course. Those are fictional characters. You shouldn't expect to find someone in real life that looks exactly like the character that you love in the fictional game that you play. That's not right. It's not the attractiveness that counts, it's what's inside the heart. Maybe you're having issues finding a guy because you have an unrealistic high expectations. Perhaps lowing them to realistic level would be suffice.

If your current therapist isn't providing you the necessary treatment then it's best that you fire her, and find a new one that will. You're paying her and you should be getting your money's worth.

[Iloivar]

Does she know you selected her for cbt? you can ask her why she doesn't do cbt, and if you feel in general that the therapy hasn't been working, that is also something you can mention to her. She might change her approach.

And can you expand on what you mean by she just talks? About herself? Is she just validating without offering solutions or treatment? And is the issue you have with her the same issues you had with your previous therapists?

[Neverever86]

Originally Posted by Iloivar

Does she know you selected her for cbt? you can ask her why she doesn't do cbt, and if you feel in general that the therapy hasn't been working, that is also something you can mention to her. She might change her approach.

And can you expand on what you mean by she just talks? About herself? Is she just validating without offering solutions or treatment? And is the issue you have with her the same issues you had with your previous therapists?

She just talks asks me about my feelings and I’ve done that to a of times with other therapists I know the right cbt they are supposed to give you assignments like for my fear of being around people. I’ve wasted years staying with the wrong therapists and it she isn’t going to help I just don’t want to quashed time. I have limited options with my insurance she was best on the lists and she’s no good I just don’t know what to do. I have many different things going on and no one that could help I hate it

[Neverever86]

Originally Posted by EagleTears

I don't know what to tell you other than I think you should try to avoid playing those video games as much as possible. Maybe uninstalling might be for the best. I don't think it's good for you mentally. To fall in love with a virtual character.. that's just my opinion of course. Those are fictional characters. You shouldn't expect to find someone in real life that looks exactly like the character that you love in the fictional game that you play. That's not right. It's not the attractiveness that counts, it's what's inside the heart. Maybe you're having issues finding a guy because you have an unrealistic high expectations. Perhaps lowing them to realistic level would be suffice.

If your current therapist isn't providing you the necessary treatment then it's best that you fire her, and find a new one that will. You're paying her and you should be getting your money's worth.

I felt a little hurt by you implying I’m this superficial person when I’m not.Its bothers me when I’ve been rejected over and over again by guys who were all about looks and to compare me to them is infuriating. I said I know real guys aren’t going to look like video game characters I don’t expect them to. I asked this to get over the characters it’s not my fault I get mentally attached it’s also their personalities I like. I look for more than looks which is why I rarely like real guys. I also don’t feel I should ever lower expectations I just want someone I’m attracted to and has a great personality it’s more than their looks. I don’t pay my therapist my insurance does and I have limited therapists I could go to and she was best on that list the rest were social workers which is not what I need.

[Iloivar]

Originally Posted by Neverever86

She just talks asks me about my feelings and I’ve done that to a of times with other therapists I know the right cbt they are supposed to give you assignments like for my fear of being around people. I’ve wasted years staying with the wrong therapists and it she isn’t going to help I just don’t want to quashed time. I have limited options with my insurance she was best on the lists and she’s no good I just don’t know what to do. I have many different things going on and no one that could help I hate it

hm, It does seem that leaving the therapist would be the best decision since you don't want to waste time and of course, paying for something that's not helpful. But im just wondering what would be your next plan?

As for your current therapist, is she aware of your past therapy? Again, I do think honestly expressing your thoughts on how this therapy has been for you might be beneficial, and if it doesn't help with this current therapist, I think informing the next therapist you reach out to about your past therapy and how you have found it unhelpful could prevent your next therapist from repeating the same mistakes as the other ones.

And of course, i'd definitely bring up the cbt and why it hasnt happened yet asap if you go to another session.

Other then that, im not sure what to add, I think going to the psychotherapy section on this site will yield more informed and helpful responses than what I am able to give. Since most seem to be experienced and knowledgeable on the subject of therapy. Many being clients and some have likely also seen their fair share of therapists.