[Biba_yu]

As an introvert, I am usually not lonely. But lately, as I am older I crave real friendship and intimacy which I am not getting at all. I can't even meet people anymore because of this social distancing! Is this even worth it? Endless loneliness and it is even required of us. I used to have friends but they are all married and mostly left the country, far far away. I used to have boyfriend, who keeps me on distance for months, for "reasons" but that was another topic, and I invested everything in that relationship. Now I am alone. How do you cope with loneliness? How when now it is completely hopeless with all this happening and chances of having new friends or relationship after age of 45 are slim anyway but now they are a big 0. Nothing.

[Thunder Bow]

We are all "alone" in someway. It is the nature of this culture we live in. Know yourself and like yourself is the best way to cope.

[divine1966]

45 is young. Most certainly people have relationships and make friendships at 45 and older. I got married at 50, we met at 49. And I made some new friends. Sure it’s harder than when we were younger. But you can do it. It’s hard with pandemics though, everything is not normal. You can maybe try to join groups online and take online classes and talk to like minded individuals for now.

[sadp8r]

Throughout the this pandemic I've been home more and more by myself ... Each day I feel lonelier and lonelier ....I already have terrible agoraphobia before this pandemic ...
I have very few friends off of PsychCentral....what's worse through this my sister lives across street ....she's been hanging out alot with a friend of hers who has this abusive boyfriend I don't care to be around so I never see my sister anymore
Tho what's been helping me is coming on PC more and chatting with friends and making new friends ....
It does help me .....hang in there ok. And please be safe ....I hope this helped a little. Sometimes it helps just knowing people out there understand .....

[nicoleflynn]

I am 73 and still making friends.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Biba_yu

How when now it is completely hopeless with all this happening and chances of having new friends or relationship after age of 45 are slim anyway but now they are a big 0. Nothing.

I think that's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Sure, it's more difficult to make friends when we are older because as children we are a lot more accepting and don't care as much about diverging interests.

MeetUp groups have converted to online meetups. Bumble is a service for making friends - it's an app that has a function for dating or for friendships. You could use it for making friends who you have the same interests with. There are even subreddits for your favorite TV shows and you can communicate with people through social media who share similar interests. It's very possible to make new friends as an adult, I have had to do this myself, especially after the turmoil I've been through. In the last 3 years I've drawn a core group of good friends around me who I didn't even know existed three years ago. The friendships started off slow with one or two shared interests and over time we became closer.

It's uncomfortable to go through the process of making new friends, and it can be slow, which makes it more uncomfortable, I don't deny that. But if you can acknowledge that it won't be done tomorrow, and will take time, and be patient, in a year you may find yourself with a solid handful of friends that you trust and value.

[Biba_yu]

Originally Posted by sadp8r

Throughout the this pandemic I've been home more and more by myself ... Each day I feel lonelier and lonelier ....I already have terrible agoraphobia before this pandemic ...
I have very few friends off of PsychCentral....what's worse through this my sister lives across street ....she's been hanging out alot with a friend of hers who has this abusive boyfriend I don't care to be around so I never see my sister anymore
Tho what's been helping me is coming on PC more and chatting with friends and making new friends ....
It does help me .....hang in there ok. And please be safe ....I hope this helped a little. Sometimes it helps just knowing people out there understand .....

I know how it feels. Sometimes I am fine being by myself but sometimes I really need someone to talk to, in real life. I tried some apps but it was not a good experience, I got scared of strangers who wanted to meet right away. It doesn't seem like a good idea to me.
Thank you, you are very nice.

In general, in this age, it's difficult to make friends, and seesaw is right " it's more difficult to make friends when we are older because as children we are a lot more accepting and don't care as much about diverging interests." but it's also that people have less free time. My generation is super busy. They have families, jobs, sometimes two jobs, some moved out far away, and older generations just don't have time. Unless you already have old friends hardly anyone will have strength to start something with you at age when we are all so tired and so in need of our time, free time. That is the difference from youth when you think the whole world is yours and you have so much time.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by Biba_yu

I know how it feels. Sometimes I am fine being by myself but sometimes I really need someone to talk to, in real life. I tried some apps but it was not a good experience, I got scared of strangers who wanted to meet right away. It doesn't seem like a good idea to me.

Thank you, you are very nice.


In general, in this age, it's difficult to make friends, and seesaw is right " it's more difficult to make friends when we are older because as children we are a lot more accepting and don't care as much about diverging interests." but it's also that people have less free time. My generation is super busy. They have families, jobs, sometimes two jobs, some moved out far away, and older generations just don't have time. Unless you already have old friends hardly anyone will have strength to start something with you at age when we are all so tired and so in need of our time, free time. That is the difference from youth when you think the whole world is yours and you have so much time.

Yes, you are both very right in your assessments, and I forget that I'm quite extroverted so I'm naturally drawn to people and that does make making friends easier.

This pandemic won't last forever though. I know it's hard but I just think of that Wilson Phillip's song "Hold on for one more day!"