[mulan]

A dear friend of mine has his grand mother in her death bed.
She went today for the emergency department with a very serious covid pneumonia.
He caled me, telling me he was going to miss work because he needed to be with his family, and he needed me to help me with something work related.

These grand mother is not very close to him, but beside visiting her for a last time while she is alive he said he needed to be there for her son (his father), that now needs to be quarantined. He and his father have some issues bettwen them, today was the first time he told me something related to it (that his father was very nervous and he argued with him recently).

I know for a long time my friend and his parents have many unresolved issues, just some clues, like never speaking about them and other stuff, but he his very secretive and have trust issues. Besides he doesnt recognize easily is feelings and he cant share them easily.

He say he is ok and in peace with the future, and wherever is going to happen doesnt bother him. But I am worried he is repressing some big feelings (in fact I think he does this a lot), but this is a time for feelings and I worry if he doesnt allow himself to feel them it might be worse for him.

What can I do to help emocionally someone that thinks that doesnt need emotional help. I worries me, he barelly trust anyone and he acts like almost nothing bothers him all the time. He is some kind of alexitimia.

I want make him see that feeling and "showing" weakness is ok, and he doesnt need to allways be the though guy.

[Christmas cookie]

I am someone who represses feelings (sadness, hurt, pain), has trouble trusting others etc. This is due to past trauma. Gently remind him you are there for him, a shoulder to cry on etc. Don't push or press him. He may eventually let down his guard. By showing encouragement and support he may open up. Maybe his family is not supportive or they were taught to suppress emotions? Trauma?