[Xonyx]

I'm not sure if I'm posting this in the right category, and I apologize if it needs to be somewhere else. I've posted a few times around the different forums, and I don't mean to seem redundant. But, I need advice from someone who is unbiased.

In the past 12 months, I've lost my mother, separated from a years long relationship, lost my home and my car. The separation from the ex was horrible. He was so abusive. So, I had him put in jail for hitting me and I got out. I've been living in a shelter for domestic violence against women. I've been here for 7 months.

I guess I'm just asking for advice on how to cope with all of it. I'm so tired of crying myself to sleep every night.

First, good for you for getting out of a physically abusive relationship and for putting him in jail. That's a hard thing to do and you did it (I've heard that many people have a hard time leaving their abuser, so good for you). Second, I'm sorry you've been through all you've been through. losing one's home and car, I can only imagine that as a painful experience and transition. I'm sorry you lost your mother. Are there any support groups at your shelter? And is there any social worker there to point you in the direction of a good low cost counselor? Counseling could help you.

Other than what I suggested, there's a lot you could do to cope. I don't want to seem trite or flippant at all, bc you've been through a lot. But do you like nature? How about walking? Art? Music? Writing? Reading? What are you drawn to? Enjoyable activities, even one a day, can lift spirits.

In terms of the grief you're feeling over your mother, I hope someone else has some good suggestions. I'm not sure myself, but sometimes when I want to know something, I Google the question I'm wondering. For instance "how to grieve when you've lost someone."

You're in my thoughts. Sending you lots of supportive hugs, Xonyx.

[bpcyclist]

My heart goes out to you. Have you looked at the survivors of abuse forum?

[Christmas cookie]

I would like to say you are courageous woman. I'm happy you were able to leave the abusive relationship. I'm a DV survivor and can relate. It's a shock to the system and you go through an assortment of feelings. It's starting your life over piece by piece. It will get better. Please remember the abuse is not your fault.

Does the shelter offer counseling? I agree with Woven with regards to activities. When I was abused, a lot was taken away from me, including enjoyment. Maybe an activity that you once loved may help. I'm also so sorry for the loss of your mother. Hugs