How are you coping today? #3

I'm the worst i've been in a long time today and not sure what to do with myself.

Trying not to let things get to me but my body is reminding me that theres something very wrong. Trying to take it easy but i feel like i am drowning in my own chest today.

I feel weak and out of energy today.I have aches and pains in my muscles all over my body and my arm has been hurting me over three weeks from Burititis it has been very painful.My womb area feels tender and swollen make be going through hormonal changes cos I am dieting and losing weight.My whole body is full of tension and I am still very depressed.I have been emailing the Samaritans for support they have helped me a lot.

I just finished drinking a cup of coffee & I think it helped me. It seems to have lifted my mood a little bit.

I'm okay in myself. I am feeling sad about my good friend who has been very ill, we spoke by phone today and she sounded still very unwell. She has been through a lot.

I was feeling pretty low today. So I called my mom. We had a good conversation. That helped improve my mood.

I’m not coping well. I have the worst UTI I’ve had so far. I am in a lot of pain and I am not being honest with my mom. She has no idea why I’m wearing basketball shorts in the winter. And she’s not paying attention to the fact that I haven’t eaten much in a few days. Today I had to force myself to put down my book and I just said to myself “dude you have to eat.” I am developing a big problem with food restriction. My mom is totally clueless which is upsetting me.

The cats are all over me and they usually stay away. They only come near me when I’m sick. The one who hisses at me has been around all day. I honestly think I’m sick and I can’t tell anyone for some reason.

Something happened to my stress level and it just exploded when we got in the new carpets on Monday.

I just want to blurt out my mom I have anorexia and the worst UTI of my life.

I'm sorry that you been struggling.

I been using multiple coping skills throughout the day. I been feeling really depressed again because of how bad people have been treating me.

I had an anxious kind of day. I think the cause of this is mostly the external situation. We have been in full lockdown a month now and In high tiers many months before. I haven't seen friends and even family in such a long time. I realise I have started to catastrophise, but this is in part based in reality. Every time there is good news there feels like bad news follows. I dwelled on this today and procrastinated.

However it's a working day tomorrow so I will do better experience tells me.

I’m coping suspiciously well today. I think it’s the whole hormone thing though. I usually feel better the day before an injection before I get hit with a ton of mood swings and severe anxiety for 2 weeks. Which is why I’m glad I’m splitting up my dose starting tomorrow.

Today I’m not feeling bad and I’m coping well. But I have a lot of sensory overload for some reason and I want to use my sensory things but I usually only use them at night. I really don’t want to start using them during the day because I’m worried they won’t work as well then at night when I absolutely need them.

I am depressed but Im doing ok.I cut my toe nails and waxed my face and eyebrows.a bit sad and very lonely,can't stand the isolation lockdown is causing.

I found out moments ago that my sense of humor is still with me. Thank goodness. That's probably my best coping mechanism/pal. Anyway, I'm doing ok at the moment.

I'm having a hard time today. None of my coping skills are helping me. Usually, I play my game and feeling at peace. But today, I don't want to play. I am in a bad mood. I feel angry. I guess it's time to go to bed.

That's great!

Working day so busy with no time for ruminations meant as usual I was doing so much better.

Since getting my cancer diagnosis, I had to cut my teaching slots but because one student kept requesting classes, I continued to teach once or twice a week (usually just on Monday because my chemotherapy was on Tuesdays). A couple of weeks ago, another former student came back. I have been teaching one class a day since then (Monday- Friday) and hope to teach more.

The last day of my daily radiation treatment is March 1st. I have good prospects of getting work in March or April with a company I have been working for for more than ten years. They work with many state education departments to design and grade student achievement tests. Most of it was done in scoring centers but some of the work that was done in scoring centers will be done "live" (supervised via camera). I am all set up for this type of work mode since I work "on camera" in my VIPKid teaching job. The radiation has not knocked me flat the way the chemo did. I am feeling good about the possibility of being able to go back to work again....

Just noticed another former signed up for classes (Mondays in China are when I get a lot of sign ups and then find them on Monday morning.) I had a quite a few regular students earlier last year and am hoping they continue to return.

I'm doing a bit better. I was able to play my game this morning. And I enjoyed myself. I also did some cooking, which always helps me feel good.

I am feeling stress today. We are getting a snow storm. I hate snow storms anyway but this one is supposed to go two days. TWO DAYS. Where it is going to snow and or rain for all of that time. I hate that. Can't leave the house, can't do anything.

I am planning on moving to the south in about 9 years when I retire.. and I wonder truly if I will make it.

I hate snow and storms and to me, it seems, they are growing more frequent.

Annoyingly also, the weather channel says we are getting about 6 inches of snow, every other channels says we getting 12 inches.

I watch two of my favorite movie on tv. That I thought would help me feel better since I been feeling really down lately.