How are you coping today? #3

I’m doing ok today. I’m reading a lot to keep my mind off things. I started my new anti nausea med and it’s working pretty well. I take it in the morning so today I haven’t gotten any nausea or anything. The mirolax and other similar still isn’t working. But my stomach doesn’t hurt for once. My moods have been ok I was crabby at the store this morning. My mom is constantly, like every time I speak, asks me to repeat myself and then she still doesn’t understand and says “what?” again. Sometimes she continues to make a scene and repeats half of what I say and it’s annoying. It was so bad today that I eventually just started kinda snapping at her every time it happened. And then other people turned around because they could hear me just fine. I know it’s the double mask thing but it still drives me crazy. I’m standing right next to her.

I had a few problems today, one completely unexpected, wow!, but I coped really well. I think the sunshine has a good effect on me. I had a nice walk in it.

Talk of covid vaccine passports upset me today.Its 4.37am and I still haven't got to sleep,I tried to go to bed but got up again and now I can't sleep I'll probably be up to 7am/ 8am before I sleep for 4 hours and get ready to cook a meal cos my niece is coming to spend some time with me.

I coped ok considering that I was upset.I am definitely not having the covid vaccine so if they introduce covid passports I am either not gonna be able to gain entry to shops,pubs,cinema,theatre etc or I am gonna need a covid test to come back negative if I want to go anywhere which is deeply depressing to be sure,I didn't like it much today when the BBC was broadcasting ideological pro covid vaccine propaganda calling those who don't have the vaccine selfish and saying everyone should prove they've been vaccinated to gain entry to pubs and shops and those saying vaccines aren't safe are conspiracy theorists brainwashing people and telling lies.

To me its the vaccine pushers that are lying that the vaccine has been proved safe. When truth is. it actually this type of vaccine that has never been used before and is still under trial until 2023 so every one that has it between now and then is being experimented on,its only been approved for emergency use.

So all this government propaganda and fear arousing from **** celebrities like Esther Ransom who is paid heavily to spout her poison and who incidentally knew all about Jimmy Saville being a pedophile back in the day and did nothing to expose him and even protected pedophiles by stopping youngers exposing them through her front phone helpline for children to report child abuse.It's all a revelation I can tell you what celebrities are paid to do for the powers that be!

I'm coping by posting on the forum. It's helping.

To be honest I feel really sad today. I feel bad about my fight with my mom last night. I think she feels really sad. We talked about it this morning and I apologized but I still feel guilty. We really started packing up the house today. More then half of the house is packed in boxes and in the garage. If all is ok tomorrow next week we will look at houses. With the market being so weird we have to act fast. My old therapist is still getting to me and I’m nervous about the new one. My PMDD is rough and I wish there was a way to get rid of it.

But today I feel sad about a few things and my nausea and stomach are still weird. I didn’t make any of my usual jokes and my tone was montone all day instead of quoting TV characters in their voices like I usually do. I didn’t send my mom any funny memes either.

I cancelled my Amazon music subscription. I’ll renew it when I’m more stable but a lot of those songs trigger strong emotions that make it tough to handle things.

I am having the same, recurring issue with gaslighting BUT I am not upset about it and walked away to distract myself. Enough is enough of this BS.

I have this underlying anger today, i am realizing some things, a few patterns in me that were keeping me stuck. I saw how my dad was manipulating into making me this passive person who accepts being put down and doesn't fight back. Fighting back is contra-intuitive to me, because i was the peacemaker in my house. I was the one who was making sure that no conflict occurs in our house. I was foolish enough to try and save their broken marriage. I thought that by doing everything right, no conflicts would occur.
I am currently trying to heal from these ideas and i should stop avoiding conflicts like the plague.

I'm doing well today. I've been working on a big project. It's taken me two days and I'm almost done. It is fun and exciting.

I am coping well today, busy at work and tired, but feeling okay in myself. Sunshine is helping. It also helps a dear friend sent me a thoughtful gift in the post, it made me smile!

I’m doing ok. I’m not moody or anxious or depressed. I’m just kinda existing today. I’m very tired though.

I haven’t eaten great either. I was craving sweets mid morning which meant I had to cut other food groups out. Like protein and vegetables.

But I feel like I’m coping ok.

I've been coping pretty well today, since this morning.

feeling like the most boring and plain person on this earth

done so little today. watched 1 tv programme and ate chips. it's not great, not at all. but what can you do when you're life ****ing sucks

in the next 6 hours, my only real plan is to eat 8 peaces of steak. hardly an accomplishment

Today has been a better day. Some anxiety, but a better day. I volunteered at my gig. And I picked out new glasses and prescription sunglasses today. It was a good experience and the price was equally good. I also received a necklace in the mail I'd ordered that had been stuck in transit, and some books I ordered. I need a new bookcase. My house is exploding with books.

Tired again and craving comfort food but other than that I'm doing good. Work was busy but we got it done, I am feeling positive about my job. Tonight I read a little bit of a great book a friend gave me.

I’m coping ok but I’m kinda confused about a couple things from this morning. Plus I’m really upset about how the press is focusing so much on Lady Gaga’s dogs instead of the dog walker who was shot multiple times. The way these celebrities treat their “help” is very disturbing. I had expected better of Gaga.

My brother in law doesn’t want anyone staying in their house because they are remodeling. So I’ll have to stay in the hotel with my mom and brother. I don’t know if it’s a change in personality or just Covid but I am not looking forward to staying in a hotel. Last year at this time I’d jump at the chance of a hotel. But my sisters family also can’t come with us to look at any houses so I’m trying to get my mom to move this event to the middle of the week so we aren’t dealing with weekend crowds. But she says it all depends on the realtor.

But I have 9 therapy sessions set up with my new T. You set them all up in advance I guess and they book you for blocks of time. But there’s not like a permeant spot I guess. Like I saw her this morning but she doesn’t have any openings next week. But I’m set up from the 18th until the middle of May.

I have a lot of work to do today. I'm coping by taking frequent breaks. I need to get it all done.

I think I'm coping ok.

I wasn't too well today. Work was ok for the most part, though I breathed too heavily in one call. And I have a cold or something, so I asked my father to pick up the form for therapy from the general practitioner for me and he was super annoyed. I never ask him for anything, even if he offers (never anything that is much effort), I decline. He did it, mind you, so thank you dad..
Then my sister called and I told her I might not be able to visit her next week because I have a cold and she was super dismissive, like I was being stupid for giving a ****.

It's silly, really, I know where they come from. Not too long ago I would've felt the same way as them, mostly, anyways, but now, my thoughts go "why don't they understand?" etc.

I’m coping well today. I had to go to the bank and we had an appointment and I hate the word appointment. It freaks me out for some reason. But the bank went very well and after I went to a couple stores with no issues. I’m a bit crabby right now. Just the usual stuff that I hope disappears completely very soon. But I’m just ready to move but today was a slow day and not much was accomplished regarding the move. I think now we need to hear back from the realtor where I’m moving to. Not much packing was done either. But I’m doing much better than yesterday.

I'm tired of being lied to. I'm tired of being conned. I'm tired of being blamed for people doing nothing but trying to con me, and being blamed for being "punished" for not falling for the cons.

When people repeatedly and consistently state that lying is the most important social skill one can have, something is very wrong. And people blame me for not trusting anyone.