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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
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#1
When someone says or does something that instantly strikes me as hurtful, I don’t react. The incident creeps back into my mind, I replay it, evaluate it, sometimes dream about it, and then I get emotional and react.
I wonder if this is common. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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unaluna
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
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#2
Tisha, I think it’s the best way to do things. For you and for the others.
The thing that you are able to put a stop and wait for a cooler head is positive. A different thing is how you react. Do you react by telling the other person in a good manner what bothers to you, or you react resentfully. This is the key. I’m still far away from you. I react in just the moment a feel someone is stepping on my foot. Lots to learn still. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: US
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#3
It depends. I think it’s good to take some time to process instead of reacting. Sometimes quick reaction is preferable. It helps to ask for clarifications as sometimes thing that appear hurtful might not be that bad or sometimes we caused it ourselves, so taking time to think about it isn’t a bad idea
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TishaBuv
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2020
Location: England
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#4
I think I’ve experienced similar - occasionally someone will be offensive to me but it’s like it takes time to actually register in my brain what was said. It’s like I’m trying to protect myself until it’s safe to “feel” my reaction to it. I’m not sure if that’s the kind of thing you mean, though, but either way I’m not sure if it’s common or not, either. I’ve never seen anyone else mention it before.
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TishaBuv
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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#5
Quote:
Excuse me my English, I’m trying to better it each day but it takes time. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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TishaBuv
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,825
9 1,758 hugs
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#6
The thing, in my opinion, is how you react afterwards. There’a not a prefixed time to make a decision. This delayed reaction maybe be as harmful as a soon reaction. But, usually is better to take a time to reflect,. Another thing to take into account is how the other person is ready for listening to you and is into communication.
__________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Nov 2020
Location: johnson city tn
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#7
sometimes it catches me so off guard it stuns me and i cant react i need to let the shock wear off 1st
sometimes im off in my mind so it goes into ""que line" and i catch up with it when i get to it.. sometimes i gotta force myself to just walk away.. just stop right because if not this will turn real ugly real fast . sometimes i need to gather myself real good and rehash this and go back and speak my peace to them, about it later... and sometimes i blurt it all right then and there |
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TishaBuv
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
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9 1,869 hugs
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#8
Quote:
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#9
Quote:
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,181
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,869 hugs
given |
#10
Quote:
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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