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TishaBuv
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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 04:41 PM
  #1
When someone says or does something that instantly strikes me as hurtful, I don’t react. The incident creeps back into my mind, I replay it, evaluate it, sometimes dream about it, and then I get emotional and react.

I wonder if this is common.

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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 04:48 PM
  #2
Tisha, I think it’s the best way to do things. For you and for the others.
The thing that you are able to put a stop and wait for a cooler head is positive. A different thing is how you react. Do you react by telling the other person in a good manner what bothers to you, or you react resentfully. This is the key.
I’m still far away from you. I react in just the moment a feel someone is stepping on my foot. Lots to learn still.

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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 06:39 PM
  #3
It depends. I think it’s good to take some time to process instead of reacting. Sometimes quick reaction is preferable. It helps to ask for clarifications as sometimes thing that appear hurtful might not be that bad or sometimes we caused it ourselves, so taking time to think about it isn’t a bad idea
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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 06:50 PM
  #4
I think I’ve experienced similar - occasionally someone will be offensive to me but it’s like it takes time to actually register in my brain what was said. It’s like I’m trying to protect myself until it’s safe to “feel” my reaction to it. I’m not sure if that’s the kind of thing you mean, though, but either way I’m not sure if it’s common or not, either. I’ve never seen anyone else mention it before.
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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 07:09 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
I think I’ve experienced similar - occasionally someone will be offensive to me but it’s like it takes time to actually register in my brain what was said. It’s like I’m trying to protect myself until it’s safe to “feel” my reaction to it. I’m not sure if that’s the kind of thing you mean, though, but either way I’m not sure if it’s common or not, either. I’ve never seen anyone else mention it before.
Some people, sometimes, have the ability to make you open your mouth with surprise. lol.
Excuse me my English, I’m trying to better it each day but it takes time.

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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 07:18 PM
  #6
The thing, in my opinion, is how you react afterwards. There’a not a prefixed time to make a decision. This delayed reaction maybe be as harmful as a soon reaction. But, usually is better to take a time to reflect,. Another thing to take into account is how the other person is ready for listening to you and is into communication.

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Default Jan 04, 2021 at 09:25 PM
  #7
sometimes it catches me so off guard it stuns me and i cant react i need to let the shock wear off 1st
sometimes im off in my mind so it goes into ""que line" and i catch up with it when i get to it..
sometimes i gotta force myself to just walk away.. just stop right because if not this will turn real ugly real fast .
sometimes i need to gather myself real good and rehash this and go back and speak my peace to them, about it later...
and sometimes i blurt it all right then and there
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 08:40 AM
  #8
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoxanneToto View Post
I think I’ve experienced similar - occasionally someone will be offensive to me but it’s like it takes time to actually register in my brain what was said. It’s like I’m trying to protect myself until it’s safe to “feel” my reaction to it. I’m not sure if that’s the kind of thing you mean, though, but either way I’m not sure if it’s common or not, either. I’ve never seen anyone else mention it before.
This is how I feel about it too.

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TishaBuv
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 08:44 AM
  #9
Quote:
Originally Posted by AzulOscuro View Post
The thing, in my opinion, is how you react afterwards. There’a not a prefixed time to make a decision. This delayed reaction maybe be as harmful as a soon reaction. But, usually is better to take a time to reflect,. Another thing to take into account is how the other person is ready for listening to you and is into communication.
I agree, the delayed reaction is usually worse than immediately reacting then letting it go. The delayed reaction gives me time to grasp the full meaning of what happened and I get more hurt and angry about it. I handle it by discussing when I want that to help and saying nothing when I know it won’t.

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TishaBuv
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Default Jan 05, 2021 at 08:44 AM
  #10
Quote:
Originally Posted by Que Sera Sera View Post
sometimes it catches me so off guard it stuns me and i cant react i need to let the shock wear off 1st
sometimes im off in my mind so it goes into ""que line" and i catch up with it when i get to it..
sometimes i gotta force myself to just walk away.. just stop right because if not this will turn real ugly real fast .
sometimes i need to gather myself real good and rehash this and go back and speak my peace to them, about it later...
and sometimes i blurt it all right then and there
I feel exactly the same way.

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. About Me--T
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