Dealing with inner demons

It’s incredible how much, most of the times when you initiate or engage into a discussion with somebody, has to do with yourself and not with the other person.

You can be very reasonable in many aspects of your life, but as long as we are human with needs, fears, expectations, etc, we are gonna feel ourselves dragged by our little miseries, our attachments, our wounds...ultimately, our Ego.

In my case it’s not a punctual thing. It happens to me pretty often, so often that my dear dad who unluckily passed away three years ago in a day as today, used to tell me that I had a problem and it was that I wanted to change the world.
In his wise way to talk partly due to his intelligent and partly because of the wisdom ageing brings, he was aware of how much I was gonna suffer with my way to see things.

He didn’t get wrong. My “sensitivity”, my own insecurities, my cognitive distortions take me to fight the world. What it hurts to me more is the possibility to affect the people I care.

The only way out I see is to realise of what it’s inside you that it’s preventing to getting along with each person, situation...what’s not working but many times it’s not easy to discern among so many feelings hiding the truth and many times, you don’t even want to see them so you don’t have to face to them.

Dear AzulOscuro,

So sorry about the loss of your father three years ago. I lost mine awhile back.

I think the thoughts you express in your post are very understandable. Life involves so much complexity that so often it is hard to sort out. Even when we think we have sorted it out we find that so much that is mysterious remains. I struggle with many of the things you mentioned in your post and so I can really identify with you. Thanks for sharing!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

I’m sorry for your dad’s passing away. It’s very hard and the fact that you have all recent is harder. I’m with you.

i am So Sorry for your Losses! Interacting with other people is certainly hard and can be very complex based on what kind of personalities are interacting. i agree with you that it is important to be aware of this and to try our best to take control of our Lives. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @AzulOscuro and Yaowen, your Families, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Sorry for your loss.Your dad was wise.My granny was like that too.She passed away too soon.

Thank you for your kind words.

Thank you, Mickey. Yes, having control on yourself is more than enough.

So very wise Azul, I feel your dad left some of his wisdom with you.

You are so right, self awareness is very important but it's not always easy to step back from the moment and see it differently. I feel you (we all) need to be gentle with yourself with this.

Hugs to you on the anniversary of your loss.

Thank you and yes, I totally agree with you. Noone begins to walk before crawling. Changes take time and not avoiding challenges to learn. I’m sure I’m gonna make mistakes but I’m determined to break this pattern and realising on the mistakes as soon as possible while mastering the capability of saying STOP just in time, it will be more than enough to start with.

Wise post Azul, I also feel that your dad left some of his wisdom with you