Ruined my life but surviving

I knew the day after i married my first husband i ruined my life. I wanted to annul the marriage he wouldn't do it. He fought me during the divorce. He ruined my 2nd marriage by telling our son not to listen to his step dad. Yep life ruined.

The happy white picket fence family i wanted to have was not meant for me. I hate how my life has turned out. I want to give up. But i vowed i wouldn't because my son did and my daughter doesn't need two family members to die of suicide.

I'm divorced 3x, single. Never had all the kids i wanted 3. Too old now though still fertile. Mom tells me I'm a bad mother. So has told me no more kids for 15 years. Always saying i was too old now i really am doctors says so too. I'm about to be 47.

Never had the descent husband should give up there too. Tried married more than once. Lots of therapy has me realizing guys suck. They all have issues or are after sex. So I'm starting to give up there too.

I wanted the love of a lifetime i got screwed over 3x. I hate how my life has turned out and yet i may have a long life. I don't want a long life. I wish it was over now.

I understand how hard things have been for you. But I think putting things in perspective could help. I don’t know that seeing your life is ruined is necessarily the case. I recommend that you look for the blessings because there’s always a blessing somehow.

I can understand how you feel lonely and upset that your marriages just didn’t work out or that you are not romantically linked to anybody now. Did you say you have two children or one ? I think it’s more important to be grateful for the kid(s) you have rather than worry about the ones you didn’t have. You’ve mentioned that financially you struggle. If you had more children you’d have even more struggles. I also recall how you have been involved in the last few years with men you took advantage of you or were not nice to you. These men are wrong. I think it’s important for you to stay focused on your financial goals and to stay independent. I think dwelling on the past and wishing things could have been different isn’t healthy.

So Sorry about what happened! i agree with the wise and wonderful sarahsweets. It is unfortunate that things haven't turned out as you wished but that doesn't mean that Life isn't worth living. You still have your daughter, although i am So Sorry for the Loss of your son! Please do not give up and try to Live your Life in the best way you can. You matter. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Aviza, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones. Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Life rarely plays out the way we plan. What we plan and what happens are rarely in sync

Focus on your daughter, your job, your health etc

I finally got rid of all the abusive and user-friendly men in my life. I feel a lot better now! No more problems for now. I just want to focus on myself and my life instead. I don't need anybody who is a user or abuser anymore. Who needs them? I am hoping to go to grad school and try to be more productive in my life. Life is short, but you get out of it what you make of it. So, Aviza, focus on yourself and find happiness from within. I finally came to the conclusion that nobody will make me happy unless I'm happy with myself. Best wishes!

I can relate pretty strongly to your post. It's tough to face, but I agree with divine.

I can’t say I hate my life, but almost nothing in my life played out the way I planned or even contemplated in the wildest dream. Some are my choices and some other people’s choices and some are just circumstances.