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Unhappy Mar 11, 2021 at 01:52 AM
  #1
So ive been studying floristry for the past 6 weeks and during that time ive turned up late and without flowers on two occasions. Teacher pulls me aside and tells me that if i keep coming late then maybe this course is not suitable to me. It literally only happened twice she kept on talking etc, i dont even remember what she said coz it was on Tuesday this happened. It was clearly so bad i started crying in class it felt like my heart was being crushed again and literally thought she was encouraging me to leave and didn't want me there. I talked to my sister about what happened she said she could have been nicer about it rather than ripping at myself esteem. Well anyway, I have been on here I have no idea how long ago I have posts here that date to 5 years ago. I guess you'd assume ive been find during that time o didn't post. I haven't been fine still had all my issues and then recently at the start of this year I get diagnosed with Ocd and Trillomania its been really hard but i can say I've had a few months without suicidal thoughts. Well this lecturer bought all those feelings of rejection being unloved etc all back from the tomb I thought I had previously buried it in. How do i cope? I told my mum what happened and she was like "if you cant deal with critism and your so sensitive about everything then your not strong enough for the world why does god give a cross to carry if people arent strong enough to deal with it". I got to say its the not the most comfortable thing to hear but thats my mum right. You have an emotion or you mess up a bit that means your completely useless and should just not go to TAFE until you get emotional help.
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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 09:03 AM
  #2
Hi @black-roses . I am sorry you have had some run ins with people that are not supportive or compassionate about the challenges you face. The reaction of your teacher and your mother that you present, sounds heavy handed at the least. It certainly did not show how understanding they were of your situation.

On the practical side, the world sets boundaries and when they are not maintained, there are consequences. What I try to do is compensate for my challenges by making the completion of worldly obligations a priority. Then those that can complain have nothing to complain about. That is like taking the stick out of their hand that they would beat you with.

Have you considered a therapist who could offer you an alternative view of what reality is than the teacher or your mother presents? I think it could help build your self esteem. Here is an article that may be of interest:

6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

Building Self-Esteem

The world tends to tear us down. It is up to us and our mental health professionals to help build up our self esteem. All the best to you @CANDC

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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 10:22 AM
  #3
So Sorry about what happened! i agree with the wise and wonderful CANDC about seeing a therapist that may help you to cope with situation similar to this. Please do not give up as you have the capability to get through this in my opinion. i Hope and Pray things ewill improve for everyone. Hugs. Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @black-roses, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!
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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 10:56 AM
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Hi black-roses,

I am sorry you have OCD and Trillomania. Do you have an IEP (individual Education Plan)? I am a teacher and every student who has a mental or physical special need, has one of those plans. It's meant to help both the teacher and the student to learn to work together. It helps the teacher teach that student and helps the student receive the support they need.

I don't know if your floristry course is at a community college or in high school?

If the IEP is not available to you, then, I would definitely send your floristry teacher an email outlining your learning challenges due to your OCD and Trillomania, and ask her to provide you with support during her course, in a way that is both realistic and productive.

I am certain once you outline your learning challenges based on your two conditions, with your floristry teacher, she will create alternative lessons for you to follow, or even alter your arrival/departure time in her course for you. If not, then no, that is not the course for you.

You need to find courses that are designed for people with your issues, and I know they exist. They are usually offered through non-profit organizations, if not available in regular education.

So, reach out to your floristry instructor first and tell her what your issues are, and ask for accommodations and see what her feedback is. Then, make your decision if this course is something you can handle. If not, go to non-profits that work with people with OCD and find out how you can achieve your goals of taking floristry courses through a non-profit that supports people with OCD.

Be smart about your path. Good luck.
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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 02:01 PM
  #5
I’m grateful that @Motts can offer his/her input.
I’m also a teacher but an ordinary primary teacher, (s)he knows better than me the steps you can follow.
Anyways, I wanted to express you my support. The thing to do on your teacher’s part would be to ask you if you are having a problem. Never calling you off. And your mother should be grateful to have a sensitive kid and hear what you have to say.
Unluckily, there are people whose compassion could be equal to the one a stone has.

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Default Mar 11, 2021 at 07:15 PM
  #6
Floristry sounds exciting. I always wanted to learn!
It would be a great job!

Now your teacher is unnecessary harsh. You were late twice in 6 weeks and she suggests it might not be for you? Did she ask why you are late? Do you enjoy your course? I’d talk to your teacher and explain that you really like the course but having hard time arriving on time because of XYZ. I mean being late regularly is terrible but two times could happen to anyone.

I am a high school teacher and I can’t imagine talking like this to any student. It doesn’t mean it’s ok to be late. But there are other ways to address it! Find it out what’s going on first! Form a connection with a student first! This teacher is going to turn her students off from the course!
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 05:06 AM
  #7
I don't agree with @Motts. I mean I agree to write your teacher a mail, but I don't agree that just because you have a ****** teacher you should quit if this is truly what you want to do with your life.
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 10:22 AM
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I don't agree with @Motts. I mean I agree to write your teacher a mail, but I don't agree that just because you have a ****** teacher you should quit if this is truly what you want to do with your life.
I think the teacher is a real jerk so far. If the teacher is not willing to accommodate students with learning issues, then frankly I'd drop the floristry course and retake it somewhere else with another instructor.

I have dropped classes before, when it was clear to me that my instructor was a real ********e, and I wasn't going to do well in his/her class. I don't see anything wrong with the poster @black-roses dropping her floristry course, if her instructor won't accommodate her.
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 10:41 AM
  #9
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I think the teacher is a real jerk so far. If the teacher is not willing to accommodate students with learning issues, then frankly I'd drop the floristry course and retake it somewhere else with another instructor.

I have dropped classes before, when it was clear to me that my instructor was a real ********e, and I wasn't going to do well in his/her class. I don't see anything wrong with the poster @black-roses dropping her floristry course, if her instructor won't accommodate her.
Fair enough
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 03:40 PM
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Fair enough
Wouldn't she be stressed out though if she stayed in this floristry course, where her instructor continues to berate her for being late or something else?

I guess I'm about setting limits with people. Even instructors. If they won't accommodate, and are being jerks, they need to be held accountable and if that means losing a student enrolled b/c they are assholes then so be it.

Being late twice to a 6 week course is nothing. Black roses is being gaslighted by her floristry instructor, most likely because the instructor has a very strong personality and black roses being late twice, triggered the instructor to overreact. I don't know. I just would drop the course and find another one. This instructor sounds like a pain in the ***.
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Default Mar 13, 2021 at 04:29 PM
  #11
Quote:
Originally Posted by Motts
Being late twice to a 6 week course is nothing. Black roses is being gaslighted by her floristry instructor, most likely because the instructor has a very strong personality and black roses being late twice, triggered the instructor to overreact. I don't know. I just would drop the course and find another one. This instructor sounds like a pain in the ***.
I agree, he fcuktard and so and so forth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Motts
Wouldn't she be stressed out though if she stayed in this floristry course, where her instructor continues to berate her for being late or something else?
Yes, she would be stressed out. I, too, was stressed out twice in my life because I had ****** bosses. One, I stuck out, because I was still studying and this job was incremental to my schooling.
Point is, if she can take it, it might be better to go through it. At least this should be very much considered an option before dropping things just because a teacher is a fcucktard.

There are a lot of people that generally I would not get along with. In fact, I now get along with just about anyone (even if I dislike their attitude). There's just some things one has to go through.
Unless this experience brings her to the brink of breaking alltogether (and not just once), I vote try getting through it even if it's hard and it is frustrating and causes tears once or twice.

Mind you, if it causes trauma, my answer is your answer, turn around and leave.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Motts
I guess I'm about setting limits with people. Even instructors. If they won't accommodate, and are being jerks, they need to be held accountable and if that means losing a student enrolled b/c they are assholes then so be it.
THe thing is, this will not be a lesson to instructor at all. S/he will think s/he was right about black roses and he will feel validated in his judgement and might even take it as a positive sign that black roses leaves.

Btw though, I don't think the teacher's take out of this should be considered at all. It really shouldn't influence a student's decision. Ideally, anyways.
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Default Mar 14, 2021 at 02:32 PM
  #12
I think that compassion and understanding is something we are supposed to have as rational beings but it’s clear we are still very far from it.

We are only ready to treat with people who are like us. If anyone is out of this, they are the rare one, the target.

I once have a little kid with selective mutism. I was told by any of my coworkers that this little girl wasn’t gonna to speak to me.

Well, since I had her in my classroom, she wasn’t forced to talk even when my subject had to do with it. She could talk to me on my ear and I reproduced what she told me. She was so proud of how well she was doing everything because she was a brilliant kid.

What I mean is that there’s nothing impossible and that the OP teacher should have more care and talk with her in private. There are many moments where we can help people to be the best of themselves instead of setting obstacles to their process. A teacher always had to have this in mind.

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Default Mar 14, 2021 at 04:11 PM
  #13
Good post azul
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Default Jun 16, 2021 at 10:06 PM
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Update**** since I've wrote this I've finished sumester two and went to an appointment with my school too talk to my lecturers

They basically said that I'd be better suited for another course and said I had computer skills maybe I should resume that. Bev one of my lecturer said I had hand and eye coordination issues and spilled buckets basically every week which would become a hazard. So I was encouraged to leave by both the other lecturer Clement chimmed in and said that I'd I enrolled into do the rest of the course I'd lose money. Let's face it I already lost money. To get out with nothing would be the biggest waste of all. So I told my family what happened both my sister and dad were enraged and said that I was not going to quit the course and be bullied to submittion. Since yesterday I've been thinking of lodging a complaint but my sister thinks it should be after the course finishes so that I'm not farther bullied. I'd like advice what would you say?
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Default Jul 05, 2021 at 10:31 AM
  #15
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Originally Posted by black-roses View Post
So ive been studying floristry for the past 6 weeks and during that time ive turned up late and without flowers on two occasions. Teacher pulls me aside and tells me that if i keep coming late then maybe this course is not suitable to me. It literally only happened twice she kept on talking etc, i dont even remember what she said coz it was on Tuesday this happened. It was clearly so bad i started crying in class it felt like my heart was being crushed again and literally thought she was encouraging me to leave and didn't want me there. I talked to my sister about what happened she said she could have been nicer about it rather than ripping at myself esteem. Well anyway, I have been on here I have no idea how long ago I have posts here that date to 5 years ago. I guess you'd assume ive been find during that time o didn't post. I haven't been fine still had all my issues and then recently at the start of this year I get diagnosed with Ocd and Trillomania its been really hard but i can say I've had a few months without suicidal thoughts. Well this lecturer bought all those feelings of rejection being unloved etc all back from the tomb I thought I had previously buried it in. How do i cope? I told my mum what happened and she was like "if you cant deal with critism and your so sensitive about everything then your not strong enough for the world why does god give a cross to carry if people arent strong enough to deal with it". I got to say its the not the most comfortable thing to hear but thats my mum right. You have an emotion or you mess up a bit that means your completely useless and should just not go to TAFE until you get emotional help.
I’m sorry that you were treated this way. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. I would have reported the teacher anomously. Have you sought out counseling to help you deal with the stress?
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Default Jul 05, 2021 at 10:35 AM
  #16
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Update**** since I've wrote this I've finished sumester two and went to an appointment with my school too talk to my lecturers

They basically said that I'd be better suited for another course and said I had computer skills maybe I should resume that. Bev one of my lecturer said I had hand and eye coordination issues and spilled buckets basically every week which would become a hazard. So I was encouraged to leave by both the other lecturer Clement chimmed in and said that I'd I enrolled into do the rest of the course I'd lose money. Let's face it I already lost money. To get out with nothing would be the biggest waste of all. So I told my family what happened both my sister and dad were enraged and said that I was not going to quit the course and be bullied to submittion. Since yesterday I've been thinking of lodging a complaint but my sister thinks it should be after the course finishes so that I'm not farther bullied. I'd like advice what would you say?
I been harassed by teacher before. I would file a complaint and document everything. Audio and video recording the abuse ask the school if they have legal counsel.
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Default Jul 12, 2021 at 11:48 AM
  #17
It sucks, but if they all say the same thing, could it be in your best interest to follow their lead?
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Default Jul 13, 2021 at 11:23 PM
  #18
Yeah I did, I got out of the course and am now doing a general study course
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Default Jul 15, 2021 at 06:35 AM
  #19
Did you file a complaint, in the end? I recommend starting to learn python, it's a good language and you get fast results...
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