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Default May 29, 2021 at 10:10 AM
  #261
I am feeling very frustrated. today I got banned from a website by someone who I thought was a genuin person and liked having me around- in fact he was constantly talking about how I'm such a valued contributor and a valued person

well: clearly not since he can just bann my account without me doing anything, and without a second thought or a message telling me why

oh well: he lost a valued contributor today, and I tink his site is going to go down here from here on out.

I also have a headache. not a bad one, but bad enough to notice it..
 
 
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Default May 29, 2021 at 12:55 PM
  #262
I'm scolding myself right now.

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Default May 29, 2021 at 04:47 PM
  #263
I got knocked down this morning. I got up again during the afternoon. Now I’m just trying to ignore my usual Saturday night blues. I need to ask my therapist why Saturday nights specifically are so hard for me. I assume it’s just a hormone thing since I get my shots Saturday mornings. But I also know I do have legit things to be concerned and preoccupied with and it’s been like this for 15 months.

But yeah just another Saturday night of feeling down.

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Default May 29, 2021 at 04:53 PM
  #264
Quote:
Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I am feeling very frustrated. today I got banned from a website by someone who I thought was a genuin person and liked having me around- in fact he was constantly talking about how I'm such a valued contributor and a valued person

well: clearly not since he can just bann my account without me doing anything, and without a second thought or a message telling me why

oh well: he lost a valued contributor today, and I tink his site is going to go down here from here on out.

I also have a headache. not a bad one, but bad enough to notice it..
Some people are just weird assholes. They are so nice and supportive for a long time. Then one minor thing happens, often not even having anything to do with them but with another member who doesn’t give a care with what you said. Then this person changes their entire view of you and your just done according to them.

Black and white thinking much?

Yeah I know I’m being oddly specific in my post.

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Default May 30, 2021 at 03:13 AM
  #265
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Originally Posted by Breaking Dawn View Post
I'm scolding myself right now.
Don't listen to the negative voices! (You probably know this and it can be challenging to do I know ). You are a wonderful person. Thanks for making PC a wonderful place to be.
How are you coping today? #4
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Default May 30, 2021 at 03:17 AM
  #266
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
If you are concerned then definitely go check out what’s up.

We still pay for the phone for married son. It comforts me to see minutes are being used. Proof of life.
He finally sent an email to me yesterday. As I suspected, he lost his phone. His sister and I are going to see him after I go to church today.
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Default May 30, 2021 at 08:16 AM
  #267
I feel my relationship challenges are trying to teach me to be ‘Mother Theresa’, the most enormously kind, gracious, patient person to tolerate horrifically triggering behavior.

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Default May 31, 2021 at 01:38 AM
  #268
Still tired despite taking a nap. I feel drained. Well, my man is coming over this week so I have something to look forward to doing. I thought I had covid-19 but no cough or fever. So, I think it is a combo of my hormones changing with the side effect of my med. I feel so exhausted! But, I am doing ok. I am dragging myself everywhere and pushing myself. I am not so tired to do stuff but feel drained while doing nothing. As long as I don't think about it, I'm fine. Hormonal change while aging is troublesome. I look young but feel old. But, life is ok for now.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 01:51 AM
  #269
I have a lot to do today. So I made a to-do list. I'm slowly working on it. I hope I get it all done this morning. Then I will relax.

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Default May 31, 2021 at 06:33 PM
  #270
I'm very tired. I spent a lot of time with my family today and that included running around with my 3 and 5 year old cousins. The 5 year old told me that I am now her best friend.


I also...I'd been enrolled in an online college class, which I dropped today. Just the prep work for it the week before was a lot of work. I was feeling a lot of stress, overwhelm, insecurity, uncertainty. In the end it just felt like I was taking on too much. Part of me wishes that I could have stuck with it. But maybe I can do it in the Fall or Spring, when the semesters are longer, and after I've found a job. It did make me realize that I need to be busier than I usually am. It's a helpful skill, in my case, busyness. And at least now I know a little more about what I need to put into it.
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Default May 31, 2021 at 06:54 PM
  #271
I could have coped better this morning. While it was not intentional there was a bit of disordered behavior/thinking that led up to it. The rest of the day I was fine. I took my usual 3 Xanax but not any visteril. My moods and anxiety were controlled both inside and outside. I was a tiny bit crabby this morning though.

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Default May 31, 2021 at 08:56 PM
  #272
I have apparently been coping better today. I fulfilled some goals, which did lift my spirits. And I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

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Default May 31, 2021 at 09:12 PM
  #273
I was down, coped fairly well though, then bounced back with my tail between my legs once again. I must learn to not set myself up for the triggers that cause this back/forth!

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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 01:22 AM
  #274
Up too early this morning (got about 6 hours of sleep, usually get 7-8 instead lately). Formulated a to do list in my head which I am looking forward to.
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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 01:23 AM
  #275
Up too early this morning (got about 6 hours of sleep, usually get 7-8 instead lately so hope this is not a new trend). Formulated a to do list in my head which I am looking forward to.
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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 07:15 AM
  #276
I'm okay but a little anxious about a friend who is having medical tests. You're just muddling along then something like this comes along and really pulls you up sharp. This afternoon I think I'll go for a walk to take my mind off it.
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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 08:37 AM
  #277
I started on the DBT workbook. I discussed with my h each item on the checklist at the start of the book in detail; how I was before him, how I am aside from the relationship with him, and how I am in reaction to the relationship with him. Basically, the DBT will have to teach me to tolerate his very triggering behavior and not react badly to it. I’m not sure how I feel about this or what I want anymore. Ambivalence.

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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 02:14 PM
  #278
I’ve been coping well today. That PMDD sucked though. Today was the first time I haven’t been moody in about 8 days. It’s like a light switch when it’s over and I can function normally and not be an asshole to everyone. It’s how I know it’s just PMDD. I do wish there was something to lessen it since it does suck to feel crappy 10 days out of the month. But my doctor said only surgery would get rid of it. So I’m trying to figure out how to manage. This month was a lot worse than usual though. I wonder if my Covid vaccine played a role in it. I thought I heard on the news that the vaccine can mess with that.

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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 05:53 PM
  #279
I'm resting a lot today and texting family. I got really sick this morning from my stress test. The IV medicine made me nauseous and tired. I also had a caffeine withdrawal migraine.

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Default Jun 01, 2021 at 07:26 PM
  #280
I guess I'm coping ok. Just sorry I didn't do all the things I wanted to do.

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