How are you coping today? #4

I’ve been crabby today and I think it’s just sleep related. I haven’t slept well in weeks and I am trying to cut out soda and coffee because I want to lose weight. So I’ve had like zero caffeine except for some sweet tea. And you’d think not having caffeine would help with my anxiety. But my anxiety has been a disaster all day. I took a melatonin at 10:30 hoping to sleep through the day. I slept for an hour but now I’m just anxious and exhausted and it’s not even 3.

Do you think you might have caffeine withdrawal symptoms?

I’m doing okay, it’s been pretty full on and I’ve had a couple of pain flare ups today (I really wonder if the damp affects me) but I made it through the day and made a nice meal for us tonight. Chickpea and spinach curry with basmati rice and homemade chapati. Watched Star Trek tonight which is my comfort vision.

I've watched some tv, played some games, & did a bit of planning, trying not to feel anxious & sad.

I'm not doing well. I've had a busy day and didn't get to relax. I had a nap cause I was so worn out. When I woke up, I was very depressed. I don't know what to do about it. I have no one to talk to. I guess the only thing I can do is go to bed for the night. I might just take my meds and do that. Or at least take my meds and see how I feel. Maybe they will help cheer me up.

I made me a latta as part of my self care after having some really hurt feelings and I watched a bunch of self help video.

It’s very possible. I don’t think cutting out caffeine is the answer for me. I got about 13 hours of sleep but my anxiety is a mess and I really just want a Coke more then anything right now.

I had a mug of unsweetened hot black tea and now I’m drinking some more of the sweet tea from yesterday. I was going off the caffeine for weight loss purposes. But I think tea is the only answer really. And my body should get used to that instead of the coffee and soda.

I needed coffee today in order to function. And it did it’s job and it did not make me anxious. I don’t know what the scale will look like in the morning but I do know I made the right decision in getting coffee today and I was able to leave my house for a bit as a result. I think I did ok today overall given the circumstances.

I did some laundry today for the first time in several months. I've been wearing the same clothes for several weeks at a time and I just ran out. Not doing well at taking care of myself overall. I did feel pretty good about getting the laundry done. Then late this afternoon things went bad moodwise and I'm just now trying to get through the remainder of the day. Only about an hour until I walk the dogs one last time. Normally I'd stay up for a bit after that, but I think tonight I'll take a shower and go to bed early. Happy that my meds have slowed down my brain, but very disappointed in myself for not taking more advantage of that to better my situation. Still feeling very much like giving up and checking out of life. I'm hoping that tomorrow is better.

I took a lot of naps, I journaled and I played my games.

I've had those days where I'd go days or weeks without showering, brushing my teeth, changing clothes, or doing anything really. I'd eat only to stay alive - that was about the extent of it. My dentist had a field day every year or two when I went to see them.

I'm so sorry you struggle with depression, too. I'm glad you were able to get some energy to do some things. I know it is tough to feel good about your accomplishments, but I see how much doing laundry or even just getting up and getting changed could be a huge accomplishment.

I told my T everything I needed to tell her in session online today. She was very reassuring and helpful to me and my alters.

We still feel like crap, but we know it is from the icky trauma stuff.

We slept all day to deal with insomnia, changing sleep patterns, changing weather, barometric pressures messing with us, and all the tough work we did in therapy. The T had to help ground me again today because the alters wanted to talk about stuff I wasn't ready for, so my T helped me stay co-conscious while she helped the alters feel better about their painful experiences.

I asked my T if I could just go back to being dissociative so that I don't have to know anything anymore. She said something I can't remember, but I do remember that she said we can work on it in small pieces, and she reminded me that I'm safe, that nothing bad is going to happen to me. I almost started having a panic attack, but I actually made it without having one. So I slept after our session. I'm sort of waking now, but it's like the middle of the night/early morning. I ate something, but I'm tired again and want to sleep but then don't want to sleep at the same time. LOL.

I made it to therapy which was my only obligation for today. I was half asleep for most of the session but she was cool about it. I had coffee but still stuck to the no soda thing. I’m still tired but my doctor told me to just hang in there for 10 more days. I’m wondering if it’s one of the 2 new meds I recently started. I don’t think I’m drinking enough water either. But basically all I had to do today was go to therapy and that was it and I accomplished that. My anxiety was in check besides the health stuff. My moods were kinda up and down.

Self-care. Distraction. Keeping busy. Finding safe things I can focus on in my apartment and within myself. Using grounding techniques.

I had a good long walk yesterday and not too bad a pain kick back, a bit of a shorter walk today - walking helps, mentally and physically and glad it’s dry weather so I can do this.

I'm going through my morning routine. It's helping me focus on myself, which makes me feel good. I also feel like I'm accomplishing something.

Feeling anxious about a few things but overall I had a good day.

I'm not coping well. I went to bed at 3:30. It's 7 hours later and I'm still tired and depressed. I want to keep sleeping. I don't want to be awake. But if I slept all night, I will have been in bed for over 12 hours. I'm just so sad.

You know, doing the one step at a time thing. It seems to help.

I am pretty crabby and I am lethargic and unable to get a lot done. My quality of life is really being affected by the lack of meds in my system and I still have 8 days before I can go back on them. I do worry about Thanksgiving and my plans and having such low energy. But I have noticed a decrease in my overall anxiety. I actually felt comfortable going out to dinner in a strange town last night and I have no idea if it’s a friendly town or not.