How are you coping today? #4

For me it’s bread that helps. I find it weird that it helps so much. But I think it’s just that carbs help with my anxiety. I need bread or something similar every day now to stay on track with things.

I don’t know. I had already taken my regular prescribed ones. But I did go almost 24 hours yesterday without taking one. I had taken one at 2PM on Monday and then I didn’t take one again until 1:30 yesterday afternoon. And I know not staying ahead of my anxiety isn’t helpful and I’ll sometimes need an extra one later in the night. I’m not sure if that’s considered a withdrawal or not.

But the Valium did help with the headache.

I'm coping by getting ready for a busy day. I am almost prepared. Soon I can sit back and relax until things happen.

I’m doing good today. My mind was mostly distracted from that one thing. My moods were fine. My anxiety was a bit rough but I think it should have been. I can now finally cough without feeling like anything is going to fall out. Although it still hurts when I do. I haven’t exactly been following my doctors orders these last few days. But I feel ok so I guess I didn’t do any damage.

feel a bit depressed over a few things.

1- my OT assessment yesterday, (can't even get myself off my computer chair without a struggle, it really isn't looking good!)

2- I have to say goodbye to an old friend today, someone I've known for at least a couple of years. I made her a card and we're going to have a hug, but I seriously hate goodbyes.. I suppose I'm glad that hugs are allowed now. it's going to be a big one..

Coping via the internet.

I been really depressed because of how bad I been treated at home.

I didn’t eat much last night and it was early when I ate. Then this morning I had a donut and a couple string cheeses before 8. My doctors appointment didn’t go that great and I was upset afterwards and I figured I needed to eat a legit meal. So I did and I took my meds and I’m doing ok now. I haven’t had any tea today and I usually drink 3 mugs. 1 in the morning and 2 at night. But I didn’t have time for tea because we left the house as soon as my mom got up. Which was about half an hour after I got out of the shower. So we were in a rush. Tea helps me cope. I could still make a mug of the caffeine kind I drink though.

Frustrated and angry. Also very tired.

I don’t get why my mom is doing all this will and trust stuff right now. She’s acting like she’s sick or something even though she’s not. She’s 69 and all my great relatives except for my grandpa lived well into their 80’s and 90’s. It’s just kinda nerve wrecking listening to her talk with my uncle. I should probably just put my head phones on.

But overall I’m doing well today. I’m nervous about a couple other things but I’m hoping it’s not a big deal.

I'm emotional and frustrated.

Sometimes it seems like there's a force in life working against me every single day, every step I take. No matter what I can't get ahead. I sit here and wish I could do all the things other people are doing. I WANT a good career. I WANT a life partner. I WANT a family. I WANT to travel. I WANT to have opportunities. Why does it seem my life is a constant struggle and challenge, everything I do is thwarted, challenging and problematic? I just want to have a happy life. I'm only getting older, when...when is it going to be MY time? Or am I going to grow old and it's always going to be the same thing? In 5 years I will be 40 and I've gotten nowhere. I am so frustrated. And nothing ever goes smoothly. Everything is always so hard.

I just wish for once I could have the kind of life I dream of and be given opportunities. Not coping well.

After my last post, I realized what I needed to focus on in life.

So I made a beautiful artistic vision board to work toward achieving my dreams and goals.
Coping a lot better today, feeling peaceful and hopeful. I think sometimes, even unpleasant emotions and thoughts can guide us in a better direction.
Making morning tea and thinking about writing some poetry.

I'm anxious, agitated, depressed, grateful and relieved. All at once.

In summary, I'm a mess.

I distracted myself in a good way. I actually read today. I just had to force myself and then once I started I was able to continue all day. I didn’t worry much about anything. I avoided most everything that may have caused issues. I didn’t have tea today which is unusual. My calories were a bit on the low side but what I ate was decent.

Today should have been my last day of PMS. But I have not felt anything PMDD related these last 10 days. A good sign my surgery was a success. Before insurance the surgery was almost $40 thousand. But it looks like with insurance I’ll only owe a bit less then $3 thousand. I don’t get how an outpatient surgery costs almost $40 thousand though?

I didn't cope well today. I slept all day. I was tired and confused. My cat slept with me which made me happy. I am up now and feel much better. I might cook a meal and then wash dishes.

I don't really have any particular emotion today, just feel so exhausted and dealing with fatigue. Can't stop yawning.

I'm coping better today. I got dressed and went on a nice drive. It was pleasant. I'm playing games now but will take a break to watch some concerts.

I hit the angry and frustrated level today. So I'm focusing on cleaning and doing housework to make the emotions productive. Somedays, EVERYTHING and everyone irritates me and annoys me. People being too loud or making too much noise. The animals constantly getting in the way and under my feet while I'm trying to do things. Accidentally knocking things over or dropping them.

Just trying to be calm and breathe.

I did something dumb and thought I was capable of lifting a heavy suitcase off the top shelf of my closest and over my head that was filled with stuff and then take the stuff out and put the suitcase back up and then decide half an hour later to fill it with summer clothes. So I lifted it over my head a total of 4 times. Now my stomach is in pain and I’m bleeding a lot. So I don’t know what I messed up but I’m going to have to call my doctor in the morning. I had sent him a message on Friday about some other dumb stuff I wasn’t careful about. The best case scenario that can happen is he will just yell at me for not being careful. The worst case scenario is needing another surgery to fix the things I ****ed up.

But besides overdoing it I coped pretty well. I had a romantic comedy on instead of using my phone nonstop and listening to disturbing podcasts like I had been doing.

I guess I’m doing mediocrely today. I didn’t eat much and I didn’t really do anything. Plus I’ve been wallowing for the past hour and a half about something that ended almost 9 months ago that I just can’t get over no matter how hard I try. Plus I see my Pdoc next Monday and he always makes things worse because he brings this issue up and makes false promises that can really screw with my head and emotions.

I am not exactly coping right now, but I know I am only in a temporary situation.

I'm actually in a good mood today. For the first time in a while. And I'm even enjoying my day....something I haven't done in a while. I am just going to say that I am thankful for this.

I think just being honest for once with a mental health provider was enough to be coping well. My anxiety is tough and I have a med hangover though but I’m not in danger of going to the hospital like I was worried about. I also didn’t lift anything today that was heavy. So my physical recovery is still going well.

I'm coping with Tylenol. I've been ill for most of the day with a sore throat and headache. The Tylenol helps. I hope I feel better tomorrow. My mood has been okay.

I've had some ouchy days recently and it's got me stressed and worried but today's been mostly pain free and that feels very good!

I'm enjoying reading again and feeling good about that too.