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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 12:15 AM
  #41
I agree with all of you. I've been here for a short time and I'm from another part of the world, but it makes me feel like I'm not alone anymore. I stopped talking to my friends about my concerns, because it just makes me feel worse. I love them but they don't understand me. Facebook, on the other hand, makes me feel angry because of all the ridiculous things happening in my country. I find comfort in reading and posting here.
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Default Jun 06, 2021 at 12:29 AM
  #42
I kinda feel like an old guy whose had a ham radio set since he was a kid, only the ham radio is psychology. So - not random, and not a provider, but ive spent a lot of time on this signal.
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Default Jun 07, 2021 at 06:48 AM
  #43
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I’m really just lonely and enjoy the people I meet and have come to know on this forum. I’m desperately trying to work through my issues. This forum gives me a space to freely examine it and bounce it off others, whereas a private therapist could have never given me this much time. Plus, none of them ever helped and I stopped seeing them. But, I also feel a social attachment here. There is no other social media I interact on. I am lonely and enjoying ‘antisocial’ media!
Thanks for this post, I have found similar here

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Default Jun 07, 2021 at 07:06 AM
  #44
Yes, in addition to others making helpful comments regarding health improvement, the feeling of friendship is healing as well.

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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 11:34 PM
  #45
Better late than ever in replying to this post ( I just found it)
Studies prove that platforms like FB cause people to become
Depressed. It is the comparing oneself to others that leads to feelings of inadequacy. The best way to be happy is having actual positive experiences where you create memories.

I don’t understand the need for people to constantly narrate their lives. It’s a little silly and egocentric.

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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 11:43 PM
  #46
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
Thanks for posting this. In real life, I'm pretty-much a total recluse except for the fact that I'm still married (her accomplishment not mine.) I'm not on Facebook, or any of the other major social media for that matter. (Actually Facebook scares me.) Since my gender identity has been something I've struggled with my entire life, I've tried joining a couple of small transgender forum websites. But since I have chosen to remain within my "assigned gender at birth", as it is referred to, members on transgender websites have no real interest in me.

This is my second time on these forums (Psych Central / My Support Forums.) When I was here the first time I used to post my own threads. But when I came back for the second time, I stopped doing that for the most part and primarily replied to other members' threads. And, at this point, I don't really feel comfortable posting here with regard to my issues. (Plus I don't think most other MSF members would be much interested in the still unresolved mental health problems of an old goat like me.) So, nowadays, what I primarily find myself doing, here on MSF, is replying to threads in the Games forum as well as replying to other occasional threads, such as this one, that happen to catch my eye.
Please pardon my jarring interruption, but my sister is trans. I’m helping a trans friends. . Please Feel free to reach out if you are so inclined.

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Smile Jun 20, 2021 at 06:16 PM
  #47
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Please pardon my jarring interruption, but my sister is trans. I’m helping a trans friends. . Please Feel free to reach out if you are so inclined.
@cinnamonstick Thank you so much for your gracious offer. (By the way, I was born in Cleveland although my parents moved us back east when I was still only 5 or 6. So I don't really remember much about it except that I once puked in a neighbor's driveway and I fell from the first floor of a home under construction in the neighborhood down into the unfinished basement.)

With regard to my gender identity issues, there's not much to say. As far back as I can remember I always secretly longed to be female. But I was "assigned male at birth", as the euphemism goes nowadays, and I've always struggled to live as male a life as I could manage. (Sadly, I mostly made a train wreak of it.) And now, at my advanced age, there's really nothing to be done about any of it. So it all just is what it is... or was what it was... as the case may be. There's really just not much more to say... which is, at least in part, why I so seldom post my own threads here on MSF; to bring this reply back around toward the original topic of the thread. But I do appreciate your kind offer.
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:46 PM
  #48
My sister (assigned male at birth) confided in me several years ago her tribulations growing up. It really made me think and helped make sense of her behavioral changes . She went down a path of self destruction, which I understand the reasons now. She was clean for a while but stuck in a constant loop of negative self talk. She basically drinks all of the time now and refuses to get help or go on an antidepressant. I tried everything I could think of to lift her spirits but she just disappeared. It hurts my heart because I feel helpless. She’s pretty anti social and hates electronic communication. She is brilliant and knows so much about so many topics. It’s been a year since I’ve heard from her. I miss her. We live far apart. She still goes to work. I just don’t understand why I was shut out.

Do you ever want to push people away.?
Have you always been reclusive? I remember we chatted a couple of years ago and I think I tried to convince you to go out.

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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 08:58 PM
  #49
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Originally Posted by Skeezyks View Post
@cinnamonstick Thank you so much for your gracious offer. (By the way, I was born in Cleveland although my parents moved us back east when I was still only 5 or 6. So I don't really remember much about it except that I once puked in a neighbor's driveway and I fell from the first floor of a home under construction in the neighborhood down into the unfinished basement.)

With regard to my gender identity issues, there's not much to say. As far back as I can remember I always secretly longed to be female. But I was "assigned male at birth", as the euphemism goes nowadays, and I've always struggled to live as male a life as I could manage. (Sadly, I mostly made a train wreak of it.) And now, at my advanced age, there's really nothing to be done about any of it. So it all just is what it is... or was what it was... as the case may be. There's really just not much more to say... which is, at least in part, why I so seldom post my own threads here on MSF; to bring this reply back around toward the original topic of the thread. But I do appreciate your kind offer.

Where in Cleveland where you born?

The new trans friend I was helping has stopped communicating. I’m worried about her, but I don’t know if she wants space or if something happened. She actually lives in her car and I can’t locate her. I was looking for information for her. She’s a smart woman that has fallen on bad/hard times It’s so odd , I’ve always been one to reach out;, but know I’m wondering if I’m being sent a message to put my good intentions on pause.
Thoughts oh wise one.?

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Smile Jun 21, 2021 at 12:49 PM
  #50
Well... I guess every trans person's experience is different. So I can only speak for myself. But my personal perspective is that, at least it used to be the case, being transgender forced a person to become skilled at being secretive as well as aloof. Plus there's a lot of depression and anxiety that tends to go along with it as you no doubt realize. (Hopefully this is changing now with the new openness that is developing around issues related to gender identity.)

In my case, over the years, I have pushed everyone away except my wife. And I even keep her pretty-much at arm's length so to speak most of the time. (It's complicated.) I feel lonely a lot which I suppose is at least part of the reason I spend so much time here on MSF. But, at the same time, I feel an overwhelming need to keep myself as far away from people in general as possible in real life.

So I think I can understand what you wrote about both your sister as well as your friend. (I've often thought that, were it not for my wife, I would likely have become a homeless drunk.) Personally I doubt there's much you can do about either of the situations you describe other than to continue to be available should either of them reach out to you at some point. At least in my own case, the secretiveness and loneliness I feel has become so ingrained into my psyche that it's largely beyond my control at this point I believe. It has become who I am.

(I'm not sure where in Cleveland my parents were living when I was born. The name Parma sticks in my head. At the time my parents lived there (the late 1940's) the area they were in was a new development I guess which is why I was able to fall into the basement of a new home that was under construction.)
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Default Jun 21, 2021 at 02:12 PM
  #51
@cinnamonstick My son had a male friend he met in 6th grade. They became best friends with a few other boys throughout high school. During high school he came out as gay. They were all very supportive and remained best friends. After high school she began to transition. The guys were still supportive but she pulled away. There were physical and emotional changes with hormones and such. She was also finding herself in a new identity. It hasn’t been all positive for her as drugs and some unhealthy choices are what she is going through and that also had an impact on those friendships.

I had a best friend who also pulled away from me. Not having anything to do with gender but with drugs and bad choices she made and how I reminded her of those times she wanted to emotionally disconnect from.

When people undergo big changes maybe they pull away because they feel different from who they were. I hope this comment is supportive and hasn’t offended. I hope you reconnect with those special to you one day. You sound like a loving person.

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Default Jun 21, 2021 at 08:53 PM
  #52
That makes sense what both of you said.
I totally get the aloof now basically a mechanism for self preservation. And you reminded me about hormones, they can be so disruptive plus the complexity of brain chemistry changes.

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Default Jun 21, 2021 at 08:58 PM
  #53
Are there Any particular days or times you feel more lonely?

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Default Jun 21, 2021 at 09:58 PM
  #54
I am blessed right now to have my two sons here with us, but I feel so lonely in a long-term marriage that is a struggle of incompatibility. . You can not be alone and be lonely.

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Default Jun 22, 2021 at 01:19 PM
  #55
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Are there Any particular days or times you feel more lonely?
As for myself, I just pretty-much feel my particular loneliness, or perhaps it's more of an emptiness, all the time. I suppose the times when I feel it the most are when I'm not busy doing something. That's when the loneliness / emptiness bites the hardest.

It certainly is true one can not be alone and still be lonely. (Back when MSF was still Psych Central, there used to be an article in the archives on the subject.) However in my particular case, to a large extent, I have only myself to blame. As Leonard Cohen wrote in his song: "Bird on the Wire": "like a beast with his horn... I have torn everyone who reached out for me."
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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 02:00 AM
  #56
I'm happier as a loner. But I can't be alone anymore because of the voices. I miss my solitude so much. I yearn for it painfully. I was so happy with my many interests, which require solitude to enjoy. So many wonderful enjoyments have been taken away from me by the voices. I loved reading the classics & going back into time & using my imagination. I loved studying & learning. It was like "ooo ah!" all the time. I still get that a little bit by googling things & learning something new. The voices won't let me watch my DVDs, some of which I love very much. I have many, animated, nature, love stories, science fiction, spiritual, musicals,.... And my music! We don't listen to the CDs, etc. anymore. But some of of the voices sing & they let me google songs they like & we listen on my cell phone. So those are good moments.

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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 10:55 AM
  #57
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I'm happier as a loner. But I can't be alone anymore because of the voices. I miss my solitude so much. I yearn for it painfully. I was so happy with my many interests, which require solitude to enjoy. So many wonderful enjoyments have been taken away from me by the voices. I loved reading the classics & going back into time & using my imagination. I loved studying & learning. It was like "ooo ah!" all the time. I still get that a little bit by googling things & learning something new. The voices won't let me watch my DVDs, some of which I love very much. I have many, animated, nature, love stories, science fiction, spiritual, musicals,.... And my music! We don't listen to the CDs, etc. anymore. But some of of the voices sing & they let me google songs they like & we listen on my cell phone. So those are good moments.
I know little about this (voices), so please forgive me if I am off base, but do you see a psychiatrist? Can meds help control it?

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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 01:40 PM
  #58
I'm waiting for the covid to be gone, then I plan to look for an experienced doctor who can help me. The medications depend on the person's own chemistry & can have many different side effects. I hope for finding the right drug. Please cross your fingers for me.

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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 05:44 PM
  #59
This thread helps. I just saw a picture of a high school crush on facebook (with a young wife) and im like, would my life really be better if he were here? It would be all, lets do this, lets go there, bring me a beer. No thanks. So i did some thred-up shopping, bought some small tops to turn into my size, of beautiful material.
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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 07:54 PM
  #60
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This thread helps. I just saw a picture of a high school crush on facebook (with a young wife) and im like, would my life really be better if he were here? It would be all, lets do this, lets go there, bring me a beer. No thanks. So i did some thred-up shopping, bought some small tops to turn into my size, of beautiful material.
This photo is you, Unaluna, casual and gorgeous all on your own. He can get his own damn beer!
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