[Fuzzybear]

I have a lot of anxiety about posting, especially after I've been away for a while. Although most people on these forums have always been kind to me I have had a few, frankly, scary experiences on other ''support'' forums. And I am NOT usually particularly easily scared.

I thought of posting this, or something similar in the ''avpd'' forum since I have been dxd with this (not sure how accurate this was although it was a ''senior clinician) (he said so many, frankly , idiotic and cruel things that I seriously question his judgment.... and it's hard to erase some of that.... but this is not what about this is about.

What is this post about? Good question.

I guess I'm wondering how people deal with anxiety about posting (those who experience it)

Does it bother you if people (even one person) online is rude and judgmental?

Does a part of you even ''believe'' those mean, moronic judgments? (not about anyone on msf). In my case, my Parental Units were consistently mean, judgmental and at times scary and they failed to protect me. Maybe this is where this anxiety originates?

Hugs and respect to all here

[MickeyCheeky]

So Sorry you're feeling like this! Please do not give up! i don't personally feel any particular anxiety while posting because people here are mostly supportive so i know in advance i probably won't be judged. i think your feelings are still valid though. If you've been judged by other people in your Life then i think it makes sense you'd be afraid of the same thing happening online. i think you're safe here but of course decide by yourself when and if to open up. Perhaps try to take it one step at the time. Hopefully things will improve soon for everyone. Stay Safe. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Fuzzybear, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

[WastingAsparagus]

It's hard to put yourself out there, especially online with people you don't know.

I've been there. I know how it feels to have anxiety about posting. But honestly I've opened up on these forums more and it has helped me. I don't know about others' experiences, but that's what happened for me.

There had been times when I feel anxiety about posting. Most times when I've posted on here I got replies back that were pretty good. There were some times when a reply was a bit upsetting. Of all the places I have been to, this one is by far the best for me.

I was on a Christian board for a few years. That one doesn't exist anymore, which was not a surprise to me. Whenever I posted on there, lots of times I would get a reply back saying that I was wrong. I thought it would be a great place to go for support, but it never was. There were quite a few "trolls" on that one, so they were the trouble makers. I've hardly seen any trolls on here, unless there were some that I didn't know about.

I try to make sure that If I'm posting something, I don't want to create a controversy. Unfortunately there are some who thrive on that. I don't understand it. That doesn't seem to happen much on here, either.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by will19

There had been times when I feel anxiety about posting. Most times when I've posted on here I got replies back that were pretty good. There were some times when a reply was a bit upsetting. Of all the places I have been to, this one is by far the best for me.

I was on a Christian board for a few years. That one doesn't exist anymore, which was not a surprise to me. Whenever I posted on there, lots of times I would get a reply back saying that I was wrong. I thought it would be a great place to go for support, but it never was. There were quite a few "trolls" on that one, so they were the trouble makers. I've hardly seen any trolls on here, unless there were some that I didn't know about.

I try to make sure that If I'm posting something, I don't want to create a controversy. Unfortunately there are some who thrive on that. I don't understand it. That doesn't seem to happen much on here, either.

I was on a board for about a year (several years ago....) where there were a lot of ''trolls''..... they sniffed out straight away that I was ''sensitive'' which in their unevolved black and white minds equated to '''weak'' and they were relentless with their snide bullying. My crime? Literally nothing. I knew none of them, never had. Fortunately it was not a Christian board. That would sting even more.

I do not understand those who seem to thrive on controversy either. Especially when they label their ''victim'' what they themselves are. It's very boring. I agree it doesn't seem to happen much on here

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

So Sorry you're feeling like this! Please do not give up! i don't personally feel any particular anxiety while posting because people here are mostly supportive so i know in advance i probably won't be judged. i think your feelings are still valid though. If you've been judged by other people in your Life then i think it makes sense you'd be afraid of the same thing happening online. i think you're safe here but of course decide by yourself when and if to open up. Perhaps try to take it one step at the time. Hopefully things will improve soon for everyone. Stay Safe. Sending many Safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Fuzzybear, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK?!

Thanks MickeyCheeky

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by WastingAsparagus

It's hard to put yourself out there, especially online with people you don't know.

I've been there. I know how it feels to have anxiety about posting. But honestly I've opened up on these forums more and it has helped me. I don't know about others' experiences, but that's what happened for me.

Thanks for sharing WastingAsparagus

[Skeezyks]

I rarely post threads of a personal nature here on MSF. And I'm not a member on any other forum websites at this point. (I've tried a few in the past. But I just never felt as though I fit in.) I don't, not post, due to concern over what others might reply so much though. I don't post threads on personal topics primarily because I'm old and I doubt anyone's interested in the still unresolved issues of an old goat like me. Plus, all I would be doing is rehashing old old stuff. And it wouldn't change anything.

It would definitely be troublesome to me, though, were I to post something and then receive mean judgmental replies. I tend to be very sensitive to criticism (which is part of the reason I live such a reclusive lifestyle.) I would probably beat myself up for weeks afterward over any mean judgmental replies I received. I think it's best if I just keep it all to myself.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Skeezyks

I rarely post threads of a personal nature here on MSF. And I'm not a member on any other forum websites at this point. (I've tried a few in the past. But I just never felt as though I fit in.) I don't, not post, due to concern over what others might reply so much though. I don't post threads on personal topics primarily because I'm old and I doubt anyone's interested in the still unresolved issues of an old goat like me. Plus, all I would be doing is rehashing old old stuff. And it wouldn't change anything.

It would definitely be troublesome to me, though, were I to post something and then receive mean judgmental replies. I tend to be very sensitive to criticism (which is part of the reason I live such a reclusive lifestyle.) I would probably beat myself up for weeks afterward over any mean judgmental replies I received. I think it's best if I just keep it all to myself.

I've beaten myself up for weeks afterwards about some mean, judgmental replies, and how I was not ?? to snap back on their low level But would that have helped? Probably not, it would have made an enemy for me rather than someone who simply believes they are SO SUPERIOR

I call them (not anyone on msf) TWATS. Those who are always terribly smug

[Mountaindewed]

I am not nervous to post on here. I’m nervous to post on my Noom support group though even though I’ve had a positive experience with the members. I have one other forum I’m a part of that is of a specific interest and I’ve gotten positive feedback from the other members but I still only feel comfortable mainly posting on here.

I do disable my PMs on this site just for my own safety. I don’t feel comfortable having members message me.

[TunedOut]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I have a lot of anxiety about posting, especially after I've been away for a while. Although most people on these forums have always been kind to me I have had a few, frankly, scary experiences on other ''support'' forums. And I am NOT usually particularly easily scared.

Hugs to you and good to see you posting because it seems like you were gone for a while.

Some of the people at PC deal with anxiety, fear, isolation, shame and probably many more things than this list includes that can effect our experiences posting. The ones I did list, I have dealt with, on and off to some extent. I wonder if they are all part of the human condition though I know that traumatic experiences at any age but especially those that happen when we are young can leave us struggling with all kinds of relationships. For me, PC, is a place that is a bit safer to talk about these things because we are "semi-anonymous" here.

However, another side of sharing is when I first came here--I think I may have done the opposite from you--I might have overshared! Though perhaps it is all a matter of opinion. Anyways, sharing does make us vulnerable but I am still learning and modifying what to share here and what I need to keep to myself; the same goes for family and friends.

[lizardlady]

Fuzzy, I agree with WastingAparagus, putting oneself out there by posting is scary for a lot of folks. I tend to post to forums here that don't need me to expose myself very much.

How I respond to negative replies depends on my overall emotional state at the time. If I am feeling fragile or vulnerable negative stuff can knock me off my pegs. I recently withdrew from a thread because it was triggering old stuff for me. Other days I'm able to let the negative stuff roll off.

Many years ago, at a couple of other sites I had trolls target me. They had me convinced they knew where I lived IRL. I was scared spitless.

I'm going to give a shout out to DocJohn and the mods here for keeping PC/MSF safe.

[Fuzzybear]

lizardlady, that sort of stuff is truly scary Some of those sites out there are....

I also appreciate Doc John and the mods for keeping this site so safe!

I also agree with you, some days I am much more able to let negative stuff roll off than others.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by TunedOut

Hugs to you and good to see you posting because it seems like you were gone for a while.

Some of the people at PC deal with anxiety, fear, isolation, shame and probably many more things than this list includes that can effect our experiences posting. The ones I did list, I have dealt with, on and off to some extent. I wonder if they are all part of the human condition though I know that traumatic experiences at any age but especially those that happen when we are young can leave us struggling with all kinds of relationships. For me, PC, is a place that is a bit safer to talk about these things because we are "semi-anonymous" here.

However, another side of sharing is when I first came here--I think I may have done the opposite from you--I might have overshared! Though perhaps it is all a matter of opinion. Anyways, sharing does make us vulnerable but I am still learning and modifying what to share here and what I need to keep to myself; the same goes for family and friends.

Thanks TunedOut, I was gone for a while (a few reasons) (one of them being the ads on here, eventually I blocked them )

I overshared (but as you said, I think ''over sharing'' can be a matter of opinion. I noticed one of my posts there vanished which I do not think in any way violated their guidelines) on another site, long ago, where I was actually banned But imho it was a bit of an odd site. I do believe that many others were banned too, and ... anyway I do not want to over share.

I'm also still learning and modifying what to share here and elsewhere, and also with family and friends.

Thanks for your reply :-)

[Discombobulated]

Hi fuzzybear, it's always good to read your posts and I'm glad you hit the post button this time.

I've thought long and hard about the very interesting question you ask.

I don't think I have anxiety about posting as such but I don't post much in the way of personal information, although I have previously. I think I was looking for answers/clarity but that wasn't something others could provide.

Honestly I have in the past had some replies that upset me, not many, and even the ones that did weren't intentionally upsetting I don't think. I don't feel comfortable sharing personal information online these days and even in real life I'm careful.

I hope I don't come across as negative, I do think this is an excellent place for support for mh or just life in general.

PS Your diagnosis and how it was delivered sounds like a very frustrating and upsetting experience.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Discombobulated

Hi fuzzybear, it's always good to read your posts and I'm glad you hit the post button this time.

I've thought long and hard about the very interesting question you ask.

I don't think I have anxiety about posting as such but I don't post much in the way of personal information, although I have previously. I think I was looking for answers/clarity but that wasn't something others could provide.

Honestly I have in the past had some replies that upset me, not many, and even the ones that did weren't intentionally upsetting I don't think. I don't feel comfortable sharing personal information online these days and even in real life I'm careful.

I hope I don't come across as negative, I do think this is an excellent place for support for mh or just life in general.

PS Your diagnosis and how it was delivered sounds like a very frustrating and upsetting experience.

Thanks Discombobulated for your reply

[mssweatypalms]

I do feel this anxiety when posting. I'm a bit concerned about how people would react to what I say. So far, I haven't had any bad experiences here. I see some people reply to others in a not so nice way, though. I'm a bit worried about that, but I post anyway. People here are generally less judgmental compared to people in real life. Sometimes, I worry about being ignored, but that's normal because not everything is interesting for everyone.

[Breaking Dawn]

God bless you beloved Fuzzybear & all of your posters here who understand & care about this, for good & personal reasons. This is why I love & need to be here.

[RoxanneToto]

I get anxiety about posting because I try to be helpful but often misinterpret what’s being said, and I’m guilty of having knee jerk reactions to certain things. I haven’t had too many “smackdowns” (especially here) but I think I have a fear of making mistakes or offending people, so I often end up being ‘milquetoast’, when I should be truthful even though I know it may ruffle feathers (in the interest of helping, not being offensive for its own sake).
If I feel people might be upset I generally hold back, though.
If I get upset by replies (not here but other places I have), I tend to totally withdraw for hours and not know how to deal with the feelings besides block them out.

[AzulOscuro]

It happens to me the same. I think it has to be with our insecurities.
I can’t count the times I wrote a reply to a thread and decided to not post it because of many reasons.
For example, I didn’t consider that I brought anything helpful, or add anything to what it has already been said, or because it was too obvious (you know, these times you want to say to a person that you are there and that you understand him/her but you don’t feel that you have much to add to offer an effective help).

In relations to the feedback I may received in threads I open, I’m sometimes afraid of them to be judgemental but in spite of the fear, I see it as helpful because they make me think and maybe be more flexible about the topic treat.

[Bill3]

In general I am not too anxious about posting here (though I do have anxiety about this post!).

However, I get a lot of anxiety about posting here if I am about to say something contrary to views that have been offered to that point. I get anxious about what previous posters will say in response, until enough time has passed that they either have responded or have not.

I also can get anxious about being the first person to respond in a new thread. What if fifty people post after me and they all disagree with me?

It is often very upsetting to me if someone gets critical (in public or privately) about a post of mine. It doesn't bother me (except as just stated!) if people disagree with me, but people being overtly critical bothers me. I might not have been anxious about posting, but a critical response bothers me a lot, and I dwell on it for a while.

In my case, my Parental Units were consistently mean, judgmental and at times scary and they failed to protect me. Maybe this is where this anxiety originates?

I think that is where it originates for me. My mother used to scream, rage at me as a child if dared to disagree with anything she said. I learned to keep quiet, and to this day it can be scary, anxiety-engendering to express my opinions, especially those contrary to what has already been said.

I went to therapy for a number of years and that helped me a lot.