I Think I'm Depressed Again

indigo1015 · Dec 28, 2021 at 09:11 PM

I feel hopeless and lost... I feel like I have no sense of who I am or what I want to do with my life anymore. I feel paralyzed when it comes to making decisions, because I am 100% positive I'm going to make the wrong one. I hate my new job and don't plan to stay there for much longer. The thing is, I don't want to be a pharmacy technician anymore, if I'm going to be completely honest. But what else would I be? I feel rudderless and I don't like it. I'm having a phone discussion with a career coach in January, and I have two interviews set up for part-time work next week. I just don't want to do anything. I have no motivation. I just want to curl up under the covers and snuggle my kitty. I feel like I have a lot of options out there... but I don't know what they are.

Yaowen · Dec 29, 2021 at 12:02 AM

I am so sorry that you are going through this ordeal. It is so difficult to feel good when one doesn't know what direction to take.

Although I am not in your shoes and wouldn't want to trespass on the uniqueness of your life and experience, I have been in a similar situation to the one you describe.

A good friend of mine was a Pharm Tech. He was in the last year of his Pharm D program and worked in a retail chain. One night when he was leavingwork, he took a package of little donuts. What he did was caught on a security camera and he was fired. Luckily his employer did not seek to prosecute him. His pharmacy career was pretty much over after that. Luckily he got a job in state government and is doing very well now.

I imagine that being a Pharm Tech is very stressful. I am thankful that there are such people in the world but I don't think I could handle a job like that. I hope you find something that you find worthwhile and fulfilling. Sorry I don't know how to be helpful to you. Hopefully others here will have better words for you than my poor words!

indigo1015 · Dec 29, 2021 at 08:17 PM

Thank you Yaowen, you are always so thoughtful and empathetic, and I really appreciate it

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AzulOscuro · Dec 30, 2021 at 06:05 PM

It’s not what you do but what your state of mind.
You are depressed and it’s normal you feel a big void and feel hopeless. Could you take a time, I mean...enjoy a time to recover from the depression so you will have your future clearer.
It’s obvious that your depression is telling you something. A change maybe, that you are not still ready to do. See depression as an alley that is calling your attention for changes.

indigo1015 · Dec 30, 2021 at 07:12 PM

I once heard that discomfort is the catalyst for change, or something of that sort. I agree with you that this could be a wake-up call for me, to turn into something positive. Thank you for opening my eyes to that perspective!

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AzulOscuro · Dec 30, 2021 at 07:15 PM

You’re welcome. It’s the right way to see it. Our body is wise and give us signals. Only we can wait up to have the strength to overcome the storm and be reborn.

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indigo1015 Grand Member Member Since Dec 2010 Location: Westminster, CO USA Posts: 781 13 8 hugs given	Dec 29, 2021 at 08:17 PM #3 Thank you Yaowen, you are always so thoughtful and empathetic, and I really appreciate it Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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indigo1015 Grand Member Member Since Dec 2010 Location: Westminster, CO USA Posts: 781 13 8 hugs given	Dec 30, 2021 at 07:12 PM #5 I once heard that discomfort is the catalyst for change, or something of that sort. I agree with you that this could be a wake-up call for me, to turn into something positive. Thank you for opening my eyes to that perspective! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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