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Nammu
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Default Jul 05, 2022 at 11:19 AM
  #441
Very well. I was able to shut down the thoughts last night and get some sleep.

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…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
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Default Jul 05, 2022 at 03:10 PM
  #442
Not well. More anxiety. I can't do this!

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Default Jul 05, 2022 at 04:11 PM
  #443
I did pretty good today. I needed a nap shortly after I got out of the shower for some reason so I just crashed on the couch from 7-7:30. Then I felt fine. I went to Walmart without an issue. Then I got anxious and overwhelmed and realized it was heat related so I chugged a 12oz gatorade and legit started drinking water and then I was fine. I ate today but I skipped dinner. I have therapy in the morning and I don't know what to expect but I'm trying not to focus on it

So I did fine today.

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Default Jul 06, 2022 at 04:01 AM
  #444
I'm using Radical Acceptance from DBT today.

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Default Jul 06, 2022 at 04:04 PM
  #445
I didn't do the best because I was sleep deprived. I managed though to be functional at least until therapy was over and then I've been in bed ever since. My eating has been fine. I haven't had much soda so I've been able to eat substanional things all day. Mainly my issue is that I'm just very tired. My agoraphobia is kinda getting bad even though hardly any one even glances at me. I wonder if I do need to bring this up with my pdoc even though I'm so anti meds.

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Default Jul 06, 2022 at 04:58 PM
  #446
I’m feeling anxious tonight about what is happening in my country politically- it’s so ridiculous it might be funny if it weren’t so deadly serious. It’s the darkest time I’ve ever seen in politics.

I can’t influence what is happening though and trying to remind myself that. Just got to have hope that decency and justice will prevail.
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Default Jul 06, 2022 at 05:22 PM
  #447
Took a break to go interview at a job. I know, I know. I added no stress to my plate and it was a really good experience to get out there for this reason.

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Default Jul 06, 2022 at 09:43 PM
  #448
My sister best friend has really hurt my feeling today when I asked a simple question. I tried to ignore the rude treatment. I apologized for any rudeness on my end that had upset her even though my sister friend should have apologized to me.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Jul 07, 2022 at 02:14 PM
  #449
I’ve been feeling jittered by the political situation here and more anxiety than usual but trying to think positively about the future. It’s been a bright sunny day here, I swam in the morning and this evening I felt most at peace watering the yard.
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Default Jul 07, 2022 at 04:57 PM
  #450
I did good today. I actually had the TV on instead of just posting on here all day. I also organized my mess in the garage and it looks a ton better. My agoraphobia is really bad. I'm getting really scared to leave my house. Although I do feel confident I can go back to work once the name change is taken care of and once my vacation is over. I am looking forward to my vacation in about a month

I wasn't very hungry today but I did eat. I'm wondering if I just can't taste a lot of food for some reason. I just haven't liked food lately. Everything I eat just doesn't taste good to me except for soda. I know the meds I'm on can change my senses. Its not really concerning me but its like I don't want my life to go down the drain before I'm 30.

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Default Jul 07, 2022 at 07:09 PM
  #451
One of my online friends was very hurtful to me in the email that I had received and the bad voicemail that was left and the phone call I had received. Which had really hurt my feeling.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Jul 08, 2022 at 03:39 PM
  #452
More anxiety. Can't find a new therapist, they're all booked.

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Default Jul 08, 2022 at 04:16 PM
  #453
My anxiety has been absolutly awful all day for no reason. I've had to just zone out in front of the TV and watch Top Model and eat whatever I wanted to. I ate stuff this morning but then I haven't eaten since 11:30 maybe and I'll skip dinner but I literally ate both a hot dog and a piece of pizza in one sitting. So of course I wouldn't be hungry for the rest of the day. Anyways I'm trying to just relax for the night and get my anxiety under control because I don't know whats bugging me so badly.

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Default Jul 08, 2022 at 06:31 PM
  #454
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sohappy View Post
It's taking time but I remind myself it's my emotions that I are holding me back. I must resist and not submit. There are lots of things I don't want to do but the sooner and consistent that I do them, the greater my progress will be.

That's me now. Nice to know I'm not alone with these feelings.

I started the day not coping too well. But after a nap positive thoughts took over God Bless

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Default Jul 11, 2022 at 01:20 PM
  #455
Just like nothing brings me joy anymore. I'm beyond down in the dumps. My mom says tommorow will make me feel a lot better and my pdoc says it will boost my confidence too.

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Default Jul 11, 2022 at 09:24 PM
  #456
I been feeling really down lately and been in tears. I don't know why that is the case.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Jul 12, 2022 at 02:46 PM
  #457
Dear Buffy,

It sounds like you've been really badly let down by people close you you, a lot lately. I know, for myself, that when disappointments come along like one right after another, it can bring me pretty low for a while.

I hope better things start happening for you. Keep busy, and engage in things you like to do, which give you good vibes and lots of validation.

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Default Jul 12, 2022 at 03:28 PM
  #458
Today has been pretty tough but I've been able to talk about things with my mom. I got some things started this morning with my laywer. I got a pdoc appointment set up for next Monday. A therapy appointment set up for tommorow. I rescheduled a doctors appointment. Today was productive but I'm just getting super worn down by this nonstop anxiety and agoraphobia and these sleep issues and I'm honestly getting very concerned for my future. Based on the lawyers appointment today it will still be a bit before I am comfortable going back to work so I have time to work on my anxiety. If my pdoc can help me out somehow without me gaining 30 pounds from a med I'd gladly take his help.

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Default Jul 12, 2022 at 08:36 PM
  #459
Buffy, sorry you're feeling down. Think positive. Don't accept negative thoughts/feelings. That's where I'm at now. Trying to fix myself & I know it starts with what I think & what I tell myself, what I feed my brain. God Bless
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Default Jul 14, 2022 at 03:56 AM
  #460
I'm coping by being here. It's been a while. I'm trying to use DBT techniques and journal. I'm also working on music and talking with people. So all of that is helping. Today was pretty bad. I was crying for almost an hour.

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