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Old Nov 17, 2022 at 04:03 PM
  #801
 
I got my dentist appointment out of the way. It was pretty much pain free. I've had needles in way worse places then in my mouth and they were not fun. One was downright traumatic. So novacaine was a piece of cake. Especially with how much numbing gel she put on before the shot. It cost me $487 to get 2 minor cavities fixed. Considering how much soda I consume daily I should consider myself lucky that I got off so easy with just the 2. Now I go back in April just for a 6 month cleaning.

Then Thanksgiving is going to be a bigger deal then I thought and my mom and I argued about it. We are staying 2 nights instead of just overnight. I am worried about a couple people who will be there who weren't orginally part of the plan. Also I'm worried about catching Covid again. Then theres this bad anxiety and I don't know if its med related or situational. But without a therapist until the start of December and all the other stuff going on, I've been quite ornery bordering on angry today.

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Old Nov 17, 2022 at 04:10 PM
  #802
 
I still donít have emotions under control when triggered. Itís freeze or fight then turned inward crying. Heís still the one, the button presser. Itís not even always him doing anything wrong, often just terrible communication issues, chronic misunderstandings.

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Old Nov 17, 2022 at 04:42 PM
  #803
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
I still donít have emotions under control when triggered. Itís freeze or fight then turned inward crying. Heís still the one, the button presser. Itís not even always him doing anything wrong, often just terrible communication issues, chronic misunderstandings.
I go into a freeze mode when there's a dangers (if i feel its a dangers), learned behaviour cause freezing would de-fuse *his* anger

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Old Nov 17, 2022 at 09:26 PM
  #804
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mountaindewed View Post
I got my dentist appointment out of the way. It was pretty much pain free. I've had needles in way worse places then in my mouth and they were not fun. One was downright traumatic. So novacaine was a piece of cake. Especially with how much numbing gel she put on before the shot. It cost me $487 to get 2 minor cavities fixed. Considering how much soda I consume daily I should consider myself lucky that I got off so easy with just the 2. Now I go back in April just for a 6 month cleaning.

Then Thanksgiving is going to be a bigger deal then I thought and my mom and I argued about it. We are staying 2 nights instead of just overnight. I am worried about a couple people who will be there who weren't orginally part of the plan. Also I'm worried about catching Covid again. Then theres this bad anxiety and I don't know if its med related or situational. But without a therapist until the start of December and all the other stuff going on, I've been quite ornery bordering on angry today.
I understand how you feel about the holidays. I understand how you feel about having covid because everyone who lives with me had covid.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 19, 2022 at 10:44 AM
  #805
 
Iím in a negative state of mind today, itís rained endlessly, itís dark, cold, and I know work is likely to be tough coming up because of an ongoing staff absence. Iím doing positive stuff but my mood is still gloomy.
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Old Nov 19, 2022 at 04:57 PM
  #806
 
I didn't take a shower for the second day in a row. But I got my laundry done which I've been bad at. I'd like a valium right now but I'm already 2 days short and I've gotten talked to by the pharamacy about the system or whatever and filling it early too many times.

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Old Nov 19, 2022 at 05:22 PM
  #807
 
I decided to clean up a little bit more of my closet today.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

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That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 19, 2022 at 05:54 PM
  #808
 
I have been feeling really awful today. So I decided to watch some Christmas movies on Hulu as well as self help videos. I was thinking that it might help me feel better.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 20, 2022 at 08:56 AM
  #809
 
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Originally Posted by Buffy01 View Post
I have been feeling really awful today. So I decided to watch some Christmas movies on Hulu as well as self help videos. I was thinking that it might help me feel better.
That sounds like a great idea to watch Christmas movies -hope itís helping you!
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Old Nov 20, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #810
 
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That sounds like a great idea to watch Christmas movies -hope itís helping you!
I been trying to find new ways to fight my depression.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 22, 2022 at 11:50 AM
  #811
 
I just ate two of the mini lindt chocolate bears from a package that I was suppose to give to my psychoterapist as a gift

I am on my period and i have been not touching sweets for two/three weeks

Yesterday when I came home and unpacked my groceries I was looking at those chocolate bears knowing that they would have been safer locked somewhere

So I continued my scarf project on loomknit that will also be part of the little gift

Today I had a discussion with my mother and i went straight to the chocolate.

Now.
I wonder if I could save the survived bears and maybe packing them in a chiffon bag or something. But since it is food idk. It would be not very proper

#WorldFirstProblems.
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Old Nov 22, 2022 at 03:06 PM
  #812
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gasplessy View Post
I just ate two of the mini lindt chocolate bears from a package that I was suppose to give to my psychoterapist as a gift

I am on my period and i have been not touching sweets for two/three weeks

Yesterday when I came home and unpacked my groceries I was looking at those chocolate bears knowing that they would have been safer locked somewhere

So I continued my scarf project on loomknit that will also be part of the little gift

Today I had a discussion with my mother and i went straight to the chocolate.

Now.
I wonder if I could save the survived bears and maybe packing them in a chiffon bag or something. But since it is food idk. It would be not very proper

#WorldFirstProblems.
We always crave chocolate when it is that time of the month.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 23, 2022 at 01:33 PM
  #813
 
This has not been one of my best days!

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Old Nov 23, 2022 at 03:56 PM
  #814
 
I'm thinking of the Wednesday before Thanksgiving 2018 when I ate something that didn't agree with me and I puked my guts out that night. Not the night you want to be sick. I kind of feel the same way tonight. Overall I coped well besidee the nausea.

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Old Nov 23, 2022 at 04:07 PM
  #815
 
Today I have been using distraction as much as possible.

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Old Nov 23, 2022 at 05:21 PM
  #816
 
Today I have been stressed and scared as he**.
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Old Nov 24, 2022 at 11:04 AM
  #817
 
Itís dark and raining at 4pm but Iím doing okay, got some things done I needed to.
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Old Nov 24, 2022 at 02:36 PM
  #818
 
I'm coping better today than yesterday. I have been able to push myself more ...

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Old Nov 24, 2022 at 02:44 PM
  #819
 
I been watching Christmas movies to help me feel better.

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Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch.

Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak.

In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living.

Like love, it's how we know we're alive.

And life goes on.

That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Old Nov 25, 2022 at 01:27 PM
  #820
 
Coping quite well really considering yesterday was the worst day I'd had in a while - very dark. Bounced back satisfactorily though.

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