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Default Jun 24, 2022 at 01:42 PM
  #421
Today hasn't been going well and I havent been handling things well either. I woke up to find a $250 bill from my biopsy in my inbox. I mean yeah I know it could have been worse but I'm already on 2 payment plans for medical bills plus paying for therapy every week and I just had another procedure yesterday. Then the lady at Sonic gave me a medium drink when I asked for a mini. She didn't charge me for a medium and I know I should be happy and she was trying to be nice but it just irks me when they do this because people order specfic sizes for specfic reasons. Like what if I had diabetes or something. Anyways I vented my frustration to my therapist but my comment sounded like I was being fat phobic. She didn't catch on and I thought she was acting weird because of the comment so I asked if she was upset at what I said. And she had no clue what I was talking about. So I BS'd around the issue before repeating the comment I had made earlier. Our internet connection was bad the entire session. She said something about me being a green or a red light. Not sure which one and I don't know What either means. and that I need to be careful with what I say and that maybe I don't want to get better. Our internet connection was so ****ed up though I didn't get more then half of what she said at the end so I emailed her and asked if she'd explain what she meant. It was just a mess all around today. The entire day.

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Default Jun 24, 2022 at 04:20 PM
  #422
My favorite band released new music today. I listened to it and it was great. But this afternoon has gone to s**t. Not sure if I ate too much lunch or what, but Friday afternoons and evenings are generally pretty good, but today went south on me. Hopefully with a cooler weekend I can get back to something less bad. Anyway, music and getting lunch out is how I'm coping. I wish it were working better.
 
 
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Default Jun 25, 2022 at 12:23 PM
  #423
I posted a couple angry reposts and memes on Facebook this morning. But people just agreed with them I didnt have to argue with anyone. My visible anger and moods were in check. I had a panic attack I couldnt tell if it was lack of food or side effects from my new med or just related to everything else going on. But right at this moment I feel ok. My med management has been a bit off because of the issue last night although I still think I could have thought things out better. But now I'm not sure. I think my blood level is high again but my lab test isn't until the 8th. After my big family BBQ. So idk. I went back to sonic though this morning and this time the same lady gave me the correct size drinks and she was crabby. Maybe she was mad I wasn't appreciative of her yesterday. Thats not my problem though.

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Last edited by Mountaindewed; Jun 25, 2022 at 02:22 PM..
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Default Jun 25, 2022 at 02:41 PM
  #424
I think I’m coping as well as can be expected under the circumstances. Not perfectly, but perfection is overrated.
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Default Jun 26, 2022 at 05:20 PM
  #425
I'm trying to make myself feel better. Like just force myself to get out of my head and out of this slump I'm in. My mom thinks its something medical. My pdoc apparently thinks I have some form of leukemia. I think I'm just ****ed up in my head for no reason. I am gonna leave a message for my blood doctor though asking if I can do my blood test a week early. Today I tried at least. I did my laundry and actually watched some TV instead of just BSing on my phone. My eating wasn't great but I ate fruit....

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Default Jun 27, 2022 at 02:05 PM
  #426
Today hasn't been too bad I guess. I got a lot of uninteruppted sleep. I got out of the house twice. I rarely leave my house to go shopping at all. The first time I had a lot of anxiety. The second time I had no anxiety. I got my shopping completed. I guess I just don't feel very good physically today. I feel off. I have a call into my doctor but she hasn't responded back yet.

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Default Jun 27, 2022 at 05:10 PM
  #427
I think I’m coping okay today. Work wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but it was still bad. Mondays be like that & our office is chronically understaffed lately.
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Default Jun 28, 2022 at 03:56 PM
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I'm doing ok today. I kind of want to quit therapy though. I just don't think she's helping. I mean, its not hurting either. I just find it useless. I think a mentor who would take me out into the community to help me deal with my anxiety of public places is more of what I need. I'm not sure though that my pdoc or my endocronolgist would agree that I don't need therapy.

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Default Jun 28, 2022 at 08:18 PM
  #429
I feel like I coped a little better today than I did yesterday at work. I was up in the night stewing about some stuff that happened and those negative feelings motivated me to look out for myself more & not be so codependent with my coworkers. Plus it was no longer Monday, so that helped.
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Default Jun 29, 2022 at 11:08 AM
  #430
my bordom level is about a 90 out of 10

I did all that I needed to do this morning (write my shopping list, write my weekly menu), and have nothing at all to do for the rest of the day

I'm having takeout pizza though, and that should be yummy. I know my tummy is ready for it..
 
 
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Default Jun 29, 2022 at 12:06 PM
  #431
Thank you. I am coping a little better right now. I fulfilled a goal, & I had a grilled cheese on rye & a boiled egg wiith spicy brown mustard. I'm now waiting for a favorite tv program.

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Default Jun 29, 2022 at 01:48 PM
  #432
I’m doing okay on a personal level, supporting my mum mostly by phone as she looks after my dear dad who is unwell with the horrible covid.

I look at the wider state of the world and I just don’t understand it any more. It seems the older I get the less I know. Maybe the answer is not to watch news.
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Default Jun 29, 2022 at 03:00 PM
  #433
My moods and depression were ok today. My anxiety needs some work but I'm feeling very sick to my stomach so I'm not sure its totally just anxiety. Food wise things were bad. But again it was more physical and med related.

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Default Jun 30, 2022 at 10:08 AM
  #434
Coping??

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Default Jun 30, 2022 at 01:23 PM
  #435
I'm just taking things one moment at a time. Theres stuff going on but I'm just trying to stay present and focus on the right now. Overall I don't feel terrible today, just a bit achy and kinda nervous about my sister.

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Default Jun 30, 2022 at 05:12 PM
  #436
Quote:
Originally Posted by Discombobulated View Post
I’m doing okay on a personal level, supporting my mum mostly by phone as she looks after my dear dad who is unwell with the horrible covid.

I look at the wider state of the world and I just don’t understand it any more. It seems the older I get the less I know. Maybe the answer is not to watch news.
I hear you. I am torn between not watching the news to keep insulated and wanting to be aware of what is happening in the world. Maybe I am going to have to go to the good news site more often
Here is one with not all good news but better

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Default Jul 01, 2022 at 04:48 PM
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I can't cope!!! Another panic attack!!

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Default Jul 03, 2022 at 03:52 PM
  #438
I ate really badly while my mom was gone for 36 hours. Like mostly raw zucchni and celery sticks. I think she noticed based on all the untouched food that was left. I don't know if she is concerned or not. Maybe she is just tired. I don't know if this is getting out of hand or not. Its not like I was really all that hungry anyways. And when I was hungry it was just for the vegetables. I'm on both topamax and another med that causes loss of appetite. The new one can also make me tired and not motivated to do anything. I did however put my phone away in another room for a couple hours so I could read my book and it worked.

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Default Jul 04, 2022 at 11:43 AM
  #439
I'm doing better than I thought I would. I've been working on changing my sleep routine, and we all know, I'm sure, that this can lead to gargantuan struggles. I've even been badly set-back by attempting this, more than once.

But it appears I am finally prevailing over it. I'm even enjoying myself.
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Default Jul 05, 2022 at 11:14 AM
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I’m doing okay, feeling more chilled out now my parents seem to be improving with their covid.
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