Hypocrisy of isolation and hypochondria--Trigger warning

It has been a while, since I posted on here. I am feeling incredibly isolated and thanks to my ongoing hypochondria, the pandemic has put me in a state of unending fear, which has amplified my fears of isolation.

I live in constant reminders of this pandemic, which further solidifies my desire to shut out the world. The masks, signs, people detouring around me have put me in such a state of helplessness that I come here. Where has compassion gone? Where has empathy gone? I don't want to be so isolated, yet with the constant reminders, I rarely want to escape my cave. Yet, when I venture outside of my cave, I only get reminded of how vulnerable we are as humans.

I am not here to debate the efficacy of masks, nor the lethality of the virus, yet it has made such an impact on me. I tried going to a store and had such a massive panic attack that I ran out of the store. I literally feel like I am going insane and trying to keep myself together.

Pre-covid days, whenever I would get a stomach ache, I would immediately think it was stomach cancer. Cough, my mind would meander to Pulmonary fibrosis. My mind absolutely terrified of diseases/illnesses and this has been with me all of my life. Now, with this global pandemic, I struggle to surface and find myself dog paddling to just keep afloat and not think of death.

Rarely, I can find solace in this world and it has been adding to my paranoia. The ultimate hypocrisy, I fear isolation, yet I fear the virus; yet, this fear leads me to isolate myself to such a point that I question hope.

sorry for the rant...

--sarc

As someone who also suffers from health anxiety I can relate. My HA has increased over the last few years, but I guess I never ascribed the increase to the pandemic. I was just looking at my own family's history and assuming that I would follow it. Fortunately I haven't. Yet. Some days it's less and others it's off the charts. I keep reminding myself that even though I know I'm going to die at some point, I also need to live right now. So, I try to do things during the day to make it the best day I can. I even have this little mirror, self-talk routine to remind myself to enjoy right now, because that's all I really have.

I understand assuming every ache and pain is some terrible disease. That's a horrible feeling.

I hope that you can make today as good for yourself as you can. One day at a time.

I have the same thing. I'm a total hypochondriac. And unfortunately I have some minor (I hope!) health issues that make me uncomfortable regularly, so there's no shortage of physical discomfort to make my imagination go wild. I try to distract myself from my health anxiety with anything that can engage me--books, movies, work, music, etc. I also try to make myself as comfortable as possible, with hot showers, baths, lying in bed with a heating pad on my stomach, etc. One thing I find helps is gentle stretching, not following any routine, to music. I do it for as long as I feel like doing it--yoga poses like child's pose, cat/cow, cobra, side-to-side rocking with one arm extended. I like stretching my back out and just breathing. I treat this as me-time, not for the purpose of getting in shape or anything, but just connecting with my body. I try to tell myself that thinking about death is a bad habit and I need to gently move my attention to something else. Is there any activity that deeply engages you?

I understand how your feeling because I too have anxiety.