I'm not doing very good todau

In a past post I wrote how I feel I don't belong to the family and at times they have shunned me. Years ago they used to have all sorts of occasions at my oldest brothers house. I started realizing back then that I wasn't being invited to family events. All of the family was invited, even my estranged sister and best friend were invited. I dealt with it and my older sister stood up for me and told them if I couldn't go, she wouldn't go.

So I started getting invited again to family events. On Sunday I found out that the family were all invited to my Gr nieces wedding... everyone but me. I've been weepy for the last couple of days and are getting those old feelings back of not being wanted or even that they hate me.
My oldest brothers family had a cottage up north. Everyone always was invited to go up there, even my best friend.. but I never got an invitation.
The last time I saw my nephew at the grocery store he refused to talk to me.

Family is really important to me. Maybe I'm a b**** but no one has ever told me that? I've always tried to put other peoples feelings above mine. you know take the high road.. but this one hurts. Maybe its because I'm older now.

The teariness will pass with time... but its changing my feelings about that side of the family. I think they really don't like me. I think my sister-in-law is enjoying this.
I'm in my sixties now and my health is bad. (Im trying very hard to change my health, one was by losing 50m lbs) I think its time for me to stand up for myself and not let people constantly trample over me. Its been a pattern all of my life. I think I might start paying attention to another part of the family that has also been shunned, for various reasons.
I'm cleaning up my apartment so that I can have people over that I know care about me. Maybe I need to separate and 'get a life' as they say.
Any suggestions would be really helpful.
Thank you.

OMG I feel for you, no advice but that is just terrible.

Thank you so much, doing better today <3

I'm glad your doing better. I was disowned by my family twice so I have a bit of understanding on being left out. But at the time I was involved with my own life.

I think I've finally figured something out. I know something about my oldest brother that he cannot face. I think over the years he's been afraid that I'll say something. I know everything that happened but I don't judge, I don't care at this point and I'd never say anything about it. I think I need to have a one sided talk with him. Even if he still denies it. We're all getting older.... some things need to be said.

I've decided to get a life.. lol

but that feeling you get in your gut is horrible when families do that to you. It really feels like torture. I feel for you.

I've found a key to my health that seems to be helping me clear my brain. I've been getting good flashbacks. Things that I thought were horrible, that I did, actually are not. The good memories are from the beginning of my marriage going bad because of abuse.
I think its because of my oldest brother and a secret he wants to be kept hidden for life.

Hi, Graciy, I was thinking, it seems like many families have a scapegoat to dump on, & that person probably is someone who won't fight back. It's really sad, because this can cause long term psychological harm. It sounds like you may have been a scapegoat in your family. Maybe you could google about scapegoating & find some helpful articles? Hugs & love to you!

Thank you. I hadn't thought about that. I'll check it out.
This scapegoat has found her voice, so look out.