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Trig Jun 04, 2022 at 05:59 AM
  #1
Last year, my father was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease. There is no cure for this particular disease, and it is progressive, so he will eventually die from it.

He is on medication to slow the progression, but last night he had to go to the ER because he couldn't breathe. He has been on oxygen, but over the last week, he's gotten far worse. He can barely walk because his breathing is so shallow.

Now he is in ER barely able to speak. They found more of the disease in his lungs, which has progressed considerably since his last scan. He got covid about two months ago, and never seemed to recover from it. He's had persistent headaches and his need for oxygen has gotten worse.

I aim to visit him this afternoon or tomorrow, once he has a room in the hospital. Mom is with him now.

But, it looks like he won't be coming home to his own house. He says mom cannot take care of him in this condition. Mom said he may be transferred to a rehab type of facility. I don't know much of those details.

I'm afraid these are the last days I could be seeing my father. It doesn't look good. They are giving him antibiotics and steroids, but since he can barely talk, who knows how long he will actually live.

I am crying as I write this. This is horrible. I love my father dearly, and I cannot imagine life without him in it.

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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 06:14 AM
  #2
I am so sorry. It is hard. It’s never easy. Go to the hospital today. Not tomorrow. If they don’t allow people in ER then wait for him to have a room. Or if extra people are allowed in ER then go now. He’ll have the room today though at a later time

Rehab facilities is a good choice when people don’t need to stay in the hospital but are too sick to go home as they need special care

Go there today. Let us know how he is
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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 06:25 AM
  #3
Thanks, divine. Yeah, I will go today. I am in shock that he has gone downhill SO quickly. I knew he wasn't doing well after he got covid, but the last few times I've seen him, I knew it wasn't looking good.

What if he doesn't make it one more night? I would feel horrible if I didn't get to see him. I will definitely go today. Everything else can wait.

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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:06 AM
  #4
Yes go see him and stay strong for your mom, she needs support right now. I’ll be thinking of you and your family. Hugs.
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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:21 AM
  #5
Thanks so much, @divine1966.

Yes, she does need our support. She says we won't know more until he sees the pulmonologist today and we don't know what time that will be.

I've lost many people in my life, far too many, but this is the first parent who has been really sick.

Memories of my childhood are flooding me right now... my father has always been such a healthy, strong and active person. He always appeared invincible to me, though of course, I know he is not. But this? To see him in such a sickly state? It's a shock for certain. I am pacing around my apartment waiting for my mother to call me back.

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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:21 AM
  #6
deleted - repeat post.

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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:21 AM
  #7
I cannot stop crying.

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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:40 AM
  #8
One is never ready for this but maybe his prognosis isn’t as drastic? Wait for what the doctors say. I lost my mom in relatively young age, early 70s to cancer. She was always very healthy and active. So I know that there is really nothing comforting one can tell you. Just sending hugs
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Default Jun 04, 2022 at 08:42 AM
  #9
My dad thinks he cannot come home in this state because mom won't be able to take care of him. We do need to wait and hear what the doctor says. But yeah, I can see how one is never truly prepared to lose a parent. My dad is 82 years old. He's lived a good life, but without this disease, he could have lived until well in his 90's. His mother smoked in the home, so it's from second hand smoke that he got this lung disease.

Thanks for the hugs.

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Default Jun 05, 2022 at 09:19 AM
  #10
My father's oxygen drops just by standing up from his bed. It's not looking good. They think he might have a lung infection, but they're not 100% certain. He is being treated with antibiotics. If his breathing does not improve in the next day or so, they will conclude it's not an infection and that it's the progression of his disease. He also has headaches.

He was too tired for us to visit yesterday, so we're headed to the hospital to see him today.

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Default Jun 07, 2022 at 07:21 AM
  #11
I feel very alone with this, even though I am not. I spend the day by myself working and all I can think about is how my father is doing and how my mom is holding up. It's so hard to concentrate on work whatsoever - my mother says to compartmentalize, but that's really hard to do. My work feels very meaningless and silly in comparison to my father's failing health.

He is not doing well. His O2 drops to a scary level even when he sneezes. He cannot come home in this state. Right now, they're seeing how the steroids effect him. It takes 48-72 hours to take effect, and by noon today it will have been 48 hours.

I did see him on Sunday and he spoke very little. His oxygen also drops if he speaks too much so he has to be careful.

I don't know how to get through my work day.

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Default Jun 07, 2022 at 03:21 PM
  #12
So sorry. I found it helpful to go to the hospital after work even if short visit. Not being there and agonizing about it at work was hard. I hope they find something to help him
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Default Jun 08, 2022 at 05:57 AM
  #13
Thanks, divine. I will go as much as I can. He gets tired and can't talk much, so having visitors frequently is hard for him.

Apparently there are 4-5 steps they can take to try and help him. The first being the steroids. They gave him this intravenously instead to see if that will help. Next (I think) is surgery to open up his airways.

I cry every day. I pray every day.

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Default Jun 08, 2022 at 05:28 PM
  #14
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
Last year, my father was diagnosed with a terminal lung disease. There is no cure for this particular disease, and it is progressive, so he will eventually die from it.

He is on medication to slow the progression, but last night he had to go to the ER because he couldn't breathe. He has been on oxygen, but over the last week, he's gotten far worse. He can barely walk because his breathing is so shallow.

Now he is in ER barely able to speak. They found more of the disease in his lungs, which has progressed considerably since his last scan. He got covid about two months ago, and never seemed to recover from it. He's had persistent headaches and his need for oxygen has gotten worse.

I aim to visit him this afternoon or tomorrow, once he has a room in the hospital. Mom is with him now.

But, it looks like he won't be coming home to his own house. He says mom cannot take care of him in this condition. Mom said he may be transferred to a rehab type of facility. I don't know much of those details.

I'm afraid these are the last days I could be seeing my father. It doesn't look good. They are giving him antibiotics and steroids, but since he can barely talk, who knows how long he will actually live.

I am crying as I write this. :(:( This is horrible. I love my father dearly, and I cannot imagine life without him in it.
I am very sorry. My dad had lung cancer. He was in the hospital for over a month and came for one day and went back with a minor heart attack four days later he was diagnoise with four types of cancer and the one day they had left him alone he passed away the next day.

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Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live.

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That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries
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Default Jun 09, 2022 at 05:35 AM
  #15
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I am very sorry. My dad had lung cancer. He was in the hospital for over a month and came for one day and went back with a minor heart attack four days later he was diagnoise with four types of cancer and the one day they had left him alone he passed away the next day.
Oh @Buffy01, I am SO sorry to hear this. How horrible! Sorry for your loss.

And thank you for your empathy.

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Default Jun 09, 2022 at 06:14 AM
  #16
He is now speaking as though it's difficult to breathe while he speaks each word. He pauses between each and every word, as though he needs to take a breath.

He is still in the hospital, and they are still waiting to see how the steroids effect him. I am taking Friday off from work to visit him. He hopes to be home early next week, but they can only release him if he is safe to go home. As it is, if he can go home, there is not much he can do and he will be limited to staying in the house, close to his oxygen tank. He cannot go wandering and have his tank run out of oxygen.

I feel SO badly for him... he did not deserve this at all. He has been healthy and took great care of himself all of his life. And now? Now his life is very limiting.

They also think this COULD be a flareup of his disease, in which case, it would dissipate after treatment. This can happen with this disease. Even so, I think covid made him far worse and exacerbated his lung condition.

Mom says he is not on his death bed at this stage. But it's scary when his oxygen drops to a worrisome and concerning level so quickly just from simple movements. He sneezes and his O2 drops to 70. 96 is normal and anything under 90 is a concern.

My poor father. And my poor mother! She is beside herself. They were supposed to go to France next Fall, and this will not happen now. This is no way for him to have to live, My mother is very healthy and is full of energy. They are both retired now and imagined their retirement life very differently.

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Default Jun 10, 2022 at 04:21 AM
  #17
I'm so sorry to hear.
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Default Jun 10, 2022 at 04:36 AM
  #18
It’s tough. I am sure covid made it worse and harder to fight his illness
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Default Jun 10, 2022 at 06:08 AM
  #19
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I'm so sorry to hear.
Thanks, @Bill3!

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Default Jun 10, 2022 at 06:09 AM
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It’s tough. I am sure covid made it worse and harder to fight his illness
Yes, we are all convinced that covid made it far worse for him.

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