Depressed about everything

I just don’t think I could handle things any more I’m just tired of this been dealing with ocd social anxiety depression for 18 years now I missed out on everything I barely leave the house. I love a guy too but he loves someone else I didn’t really try anything I liked him from afar but he wouldn’t like me even if I tried I don’t look like the woman he was into. For few months now thinking of him has given me tiny bit of excitement but anxiety ruined it but now I’m hurt thinking about him and I don’t want stop thinking of him. I feel more empty without thinking of him. He was as perfect as real him and could be a nice guy and it’s rare all these years for me to be into a guy this guy is as good as it gets idk if any better guy could exist. Also depressed about life to begin I’m 35 idk what to do to fix my life I want a boyfriend I want to have a husband the more time goes by the more I feel sad about everything. Any advice

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Originally Posted by Neverever86 I just don’t think I could handle things any more I’m just tired of this been dealing with ocd social anxiety depression for 18 years now I missed out on everything I barely leave the house. I love a guy too but he loves someone else I didn’t really try anything I liked him from afar but he wouldn’t like me even if I tried I don’t look like the woman he was into. For few months now thinking of him has given me tiny bit of excitement but anxiety ruined it but now I’m hurt thinking about him and I don’t want stop thinking of him. I feel more empty without thinking of him. He was as perfect as real him and could be a nice guy and it’s rare all these years for me to be into a guy this guy is as good as it gets idk if any better guy could exist. Also depressed about life to begin I’m 35 idk what to do to fix my life I want a boyfriend I want to have a husband the more time goes by the more I feel sad about everything. Any advice

I'm sorry you have things stacked up. It can be overwhelming. I have felt, in life, that I lost out due to the lack of action on my part...but that is wrong.

I have felt that once in an relationship, I get disrespected and used. It can really be dangerous to trust people and if you don't watch out...well you could end up in a worse spot than what you are.

Please know you are worthy and loved...just down right now.

I couldn't have said it better myself, Unaware.

Dear Neverever,

I think you might want to reconsider your relationship with this man. If he's into someone else, he's most likely not got the character to stand by you when you need him. He will probably never make you happy, even if you were together in a meaningful way.

Please believe me, 35 is not that old. There are days I would LOVE to be 35 and single, again. I'd do some things very differently, I do know that.

And we should not make the mistake of thinking life is worthless without a man in it. That is the most important thing I can say to you right now.

You are a valuable and precious individual. You have unique and special gifts to give to the world. You have innate worth.

You deserve to be treated better!!!! Please start to see him for what he is.

Once we un-attach ourselves from damaging, destructive people we have let into our lives, we do start to feel better, a little at a time. It does work.

Wishing you clarity, and better days!

Agreed, 35 is definitely young enough to have many options ahead of you.

It is hard when you develop feelings for someone who isn’t for you but I wonder if you can take away from this some of the traits you will seek in someone who is right for you?

We can’t depend on the outside to live our lives.
Of course, the approval gotten from the outside is good but mainly, we have to develop our inner world.

Do you judge yourself hardly? If so, consider which good things you can appreciate in yourself. I’m sure you have many good attributes. And also things you don’t like. With these latter ones, be compassionate.
I’m gonna tell you a secret. Everybody have faults. No problem at all. The most important thing is that you are a human being so it’s normal you have also flaws. Let yourself to have them nicely, you are gonna work to correct what you need to correct, as soon as you are ready.
For example, this guy might not like you as his romantic partner. Ok. I’m sure there are people who like you and you don’t like them. At least, as a romantic partner. You feel pain bc of this guy. Ok. Let yourself feel that pain. It’s something normal. You can’t fight against your feelings, but please, don’t close yourself up to other people. And you can enjoy relations with people at many levels. Don’t close you up.

Have you tried mindfulness meditation? It helps to cope with emotions.

You have so much things to do ahead. Maybe you don’t see yourself now able to see it. But, believe me, you have so many ahead and people to meet. Do you count with someone who can support you at these moments? Counsellor, priest, therapist, friends…?

Hi Neverever86, it sounds like you're going through a really difficult time. The pain of not having a boyfriend can be oh so real. It is loneliness and depression, combined with societal pressure. I hope you know there's nothing wrong with you for being single. Lots of people are single and not by choice. I'm sure you'll meet someone else eventually. I wonder if what you might want to do right now though, is focus on feeling better. Distracting yourself from the pain of being rejected by this guy, and your loneliness, and do something enjoyable instead. Do you have any hobbies? Do you have any friends who feel good to be around? What makes you happy? And if you don't know, is there a way you can discover / uncover that, so to speak? I wish you the very best. It will get better.