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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
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#1
I hadn't been doing much socially over the past few years... then on a whim, I started getting involved with some gaming groups over the last few months. One day, while at another gamer's house, I saw a script for a play, and I asked him about it.... long story short I volunteered for a part in a community theater play. The play involved meeting together twice a week and first, then it culminated with meeting 3 times a week. While I was meeting with these people, I got involved with some of the typical mind-games and social antics of the group.
Now I'm coming down from the "high" of being with the group - and I'm finding it difficult to sleep - and I have intrusive thoughts relating to some of the mind-games and antics in which I re-hash conversations and situations. I noticed that some people seem to thrive on these (what appear to me to be) high stress situations. I long for a life with very little stress. One of the hardest things to deal with is the gas-lighting. There were several times it happened - not just to me - but to other people as well. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised - I've heard several people involved with the entertainment industry talk about the games they play on each other. Some other thoughts - I'm also dealing with the fact that I brought at least some of these problems on myself.... and I think about the times when I embarrassed myself. And there are times when I trusted people, and then was disappointed when it turned out they didn't think that much of me, after all. There were also times when it appeared that certain people tried to make amends, or to soothe over hard feelings, then I perpetuated the games myself, and made things worse again. The most embarrassing thing I did was when I was so stressed that I experienced tunnel vision - I almost walked into a couple of people. __________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley Last edited by shakespeare47; Sep 28, 2022 at 10:27 AM.. |
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Legendary
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#2
Dear @shakespeare47, Are you continuing your theater participation? Can you continue somewhere else? It must be really hard experiencing all of these insights, absorbing all of the game playing & disappointment. At the same time, underneath it all is probably a lot of insecurity (for maybe everyone) & wanting to be accepted & to belong. If you could find a different group where you could enjoy being involved in theater, having fun & feeling like family, that could be wonderful. Do you think that's possible?
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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Discombobulated, shakespeare47
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
Also - note to self - beware of how much caffeine you're drinking. __________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley Last edited by shakespeare47; Sep 28, 2022 at 02:15 PM.. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
given |
#4
Also - note to self - remember the comments about autism. Do you really want to go through that again?
On the other hand - the after-party was pretty decent. I said I would probably take a break for a while because it was pretty stressful - and she admitted it was stressful for her too. She could have said something mean and nasty - but she didn't __________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
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#5
Yesterday I rewarded myself by buying a nice new watch - one that I have wanted for a while.
I work for myself - and the stress (from everything I mentioned above) and time it took to learn my lines disrupted my business for a while. But I am now starting to get back into my regular work routine. And I'm sleeping a little better - it might be a little while before I sleep soundly through the night. __________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley Last edited by shakespeare47; Sep 30, 2022 at 07:20 AM.. |
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#6
Saying goodbye is such an emotional experience. But you're finding your way back to what feels like you?
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
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#7
Last night was the first good night's sleep I've gotten since the play ended.
__________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
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#8
Well - Some of them had some impressive creative skills, and there were some laughs, but mostly I was happy to get away from them. It was just too much drama - and the director was verbally abusive.
__________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley Last edited by FooZe; Oct 04, 2022 at 10:04 AM.. Reason: at author's request |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
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#9
Another good night of sleep - I think I'm back to my regular sleep schedule at last!
__________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: US
Posts: 3,134
9 437 hugs
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#10
Note to self - also remember the antics of the photographer - what in the world was that all about? She must have been a good friend of the director? She exhibited some odd behaviors.
__________________ My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley |
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