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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 11:42 AM
  #261
 
Iím so tired and a bit achy, but I can slow down now. I have time off work and Iíve promised myself rest and focus on relaxation.
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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 06:58 PM
  #262
 
I had some acute anxiety today driving someplace new and confusing, but i got there okay and feel better now. I am very anxious and preoccupied in my thinking about my separation situation.

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Old Mar 14, 2023 at 08:10 PM
  #263
 
I've been crying and journaling and sleeping.

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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 01:56 AM
  #264
 
I am having a hard time. I wish & hope & pray.

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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 06:23 AM
  #265
 
Iím terrified to really be going forward with the legal separation, and knowing the end of the relationship is for real this time. Iím ashamed about how I have been. But, I also now understand I acted the way scientific processes caused me to act. I didnít understand that at the time. I do now, so I can be gentle with myself for the inner critic beating me up about it.

Only one therapist said in a brief comment that I have attachment issues. There was no follow up. I took it upon myself to learn all about it now and, oh boy, I really have attachment issues. The good news is they are something that can be improved with a therapist. So Iím going to find someone to help me learn healthier attachment.

Whatís the point of beating myself up about past mistakes? Whatís done is done. I canít change it. All I can do is move forward and try to be healthier.

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Last edited by TishaBuv; Mar 15, 2023 at 06:27 AM.. Reason: Add more
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Old Mar 15, 2023 at 11:01 AM
  #266
 
I am feeling kind of upset today. I am trying to distract and to breathe and to look forward to my half day off of work even though part of it I will be at the doctor's.

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Old Mar 16, 2023 at 10:59 AM
  #267
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SlumberKitty View Post
I am feeling kind of upset today. I am trying to distract and to breathe and to look forward to my half day off of work even though part of it I will be at the doctor's.
Hoping your half day off does you some good and you can rest a little.
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Old Mar 16, 2023 at 12:15 PM
  #268
 
I think I am numb today. I don't know. Either that or I am so low (depressed) that I can't even tell.

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Old Mar 16, 2023 at 11:12 PM
  #269
 
i didn't do what i was planning on doing today, which made me feel upset and disappointed! but i'm starting to believe that 'working on my posters' is likely a coping mechanism for me....
but yeah, today was a difficult one anyways



*also the first time back in 15 months
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Old Mar 17, 2023 at 11:12 AM
  #270
 
I feel pretty numb today. I guess I have had too many emotions over the past few days. I am at work and covering for a coworker who is on vacation so there is more to do than usual. I am trying to do my best at covering her job even though I don't really know all the different things she does. So maybe a little anxious about that!

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Old Mar 17, 2023 at 02:32 PM
  #271
 
I been keeping myself busy by cleaning up and organizing my sister bedroom.

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Old Mar 18, 2023 at 10:27 AM
  #272
 
Iím okay today, my brain is firing off in different directions as usual but Iíve got some tasks done and just taking a break before starting again.
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Old Mar 19, 2023 at 05:32 PM
  #273
 
I am tired today... Anticipating a long week full of doctorís appointments and events... Experiencing a big headache as I type...

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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 06:27 AM
  #274
 
I am learning to name the emotions I feel without placing judgments on myself. There are many negative emotions I feel over what happened, and it is hard to not judge and blame myself. I chose to stay in the bad situation. While there were reasons for this that do not point blame at me, other reasons are due to my selfishness. Yes, the worst thing I can say to put blame on me and shame on me is in some aspect I was selfish. Okay. Arenít we all selfish sometimes? I can forgive myself for that. I feel remorseful mostly because my kids ended up being adversely affected. I did not realize this was happening at the time. I only know it now, in hindsight. This is why it is so important to show them a peaceful, happy me moving forward. As much as I wanted to set a good example, I really screwed up and did just the opposite. I feel terrible shame looking back, but I didnít see it then, so I canít change the past. I hope I will be better moving forward, finally.

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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 01:20 PM
  #275
 
Possible trigger:
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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 01:57 PM
  #276
 
HUGS Gasplessy

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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 01:58 PM
  #277
 
I am mostly numb. I guess that is how I am dealing right now. Laid in bed a lot this weekend. Not sleeping. Just laying there.

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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 04:57 PM
  #278
 
I'm doing ok today. Went out and did three errands.
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Old Mar 20, 2023 at 08:27 PM
  #279
 
I've been journaling and writing affirmations.

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Old Yesterday at 01:19 PM
  #280
 
I am feeling disconnected and not in contact with the world around me. I am not looking after myself, part of me knows this is bad and part of me doesn't care.

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