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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,200
2 819 hugs
given |
#121
I'm up and down today, emotions-wise.
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Anonymous32448, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, MuseumGhost
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#122
frustrated with my screwed memory
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, MuseumGhost
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: Limsa Lominsa
Posts: 29,434
(SuperPoster!)
7 49.2k hugs
given |
#123
I did some work, cleaned and took a nap. I'm playing my game at the moment. All of this is helping me make it through a lonely day.
__________________ ‘Live for now,’ ‘This too shall pass,’ ‘Everything is happening for my good.’ |
AliceKate, Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,197
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.1k hugs
given |
#124
I am trying to change the mental stories I tell myself
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 3,257
12 12.3k hugs
given |
#125
I took a long, easy-going morning to have a little extra coffee, and to enjoy the quiet of the house. I've been pushing myself hard for the last 3-4 days, so it feels good to take a morning "off".
I'm still, sometimes, doing battle with the trust and self-esteem issues handed to me by several players from my past (these have included family members, significant others, as well as people who called themselves my friends.) Apparently, I was born without the ability to spot a nasty when I was right next to them. I'm learning, in my ripe old age, how to defend myself sooner and better from those who would wish to take advantage of me, or do me harm. Reading well-reviewed books, and researching healing techniques online have helped. There is hope. If I can recover, anyone can. |
Breaking Dawn, Deilla, Discombobulated
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Breaking Dawn
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,200
2 819 hugs
given |
#126
I can identify with parts the above post.Today, though, was a cry day for me. I cried and cried. And I slept.
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, MuseumGhost
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Member
Member Since Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 419
8 567 hugs
given |
#127
Quote:
I am aware it is non-sense to talk like this, it is just that I lost control and a serious of bad events happened globale I personally can only re-think my actions Because I have not been a saint. At all I started to think I was punished by karma or something I don't want to see my older sister anymore. She was so worse than me, and childish beyond the line I used to protect her and she didn't even realize She never helped me with my unemployment condition. And despite being labelled like trash i am aware that just few years ago i used to be a working person who also help others She did the minimum and never cared for any ethical issue. And i cant blame depression cause she finds plenty of time for malicious hobbys I dont want to talk like this, but I lost completely control in 2017. My fault |
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AliceKate, Breaking Dawn
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,879 hugs
given |
#128
I’m feeling strong and resilient. 5 weeks with no emotional dysregulation and counting…
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated, Gasplessy, MuseumGhost, Open Eyes
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Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Where the sidewalk ends
Posts: 38,822
(SuperPoster!)
8 9,777 hugs
given |
#129
I got my laundry done. The basket was overflowing and the top wouldn't close. It was so stressful to look at but some days I was too tired and other days my 4 month old niece was over. My therapist and I call her the angry cat. I had a dream one time during a 2 hour nap about an angry cat and when I woke up I found out my niece had been screaming that whole time. She will cry at almost anything and will sometimes cry all day once she gets started.
But anyways, she wasnt here today and so I finally got the 4 loads of laundry done so I feel less stressed about that issue at least. __________________ I'm Blue |
Breaking Dawn
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AliceKate, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2020
Location: Wichita, KS
Posts: 606
4 55 hugs
given |
#130
I decided to quit online dating for good and just to do this the old fashioned way - meet someone and develop a sense of knowing them even before the dating. I will have to keep in mind that it could be a long time but heck, I may find myself along the way. Something like Jim and Pam in The Office.
__________________ Hi! I'm bexca and I have Schizoaffective disorder |
Breaking Dawn
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AliceKate, Breaking Dawn, Discombobulated
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,879 hugs
given |
#131
He managed to antagonize me to tears last night. I am proud of myself that I didn’t go on an angry rant like in the past, knowing there’s no point anyway, he doesn’t hear me. What really got me was when he gaslit me over something that just made my head explode. One part of our struggle is how he is compelled to do what I call a “do over”. This is part of the pattern that he has done countless times, and we have fought over it. Last night, he did it. When I called him out on it, he acted like it was the first time he ever heard of it. Unbelievably gaslighting! So that prompted tears for me. It’s quite a trigger to feel that destabilized.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
AliceKate, Bill3, Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
(SuperPoster!)
9 1,879 hugs
given |
#132
I feel like it is a huge effort that I need to make to start my day and do something good with it. I need to individuate from him. I don’t want to face another day of this with him.
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
AliceKate, Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,197
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.1k hugs
given |
#133
I watched a movie today.
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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AliceKate, Bill3, Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
5 42.2k hugs
given |
#134
Quote:
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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AliceKate, Mountaindewed
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MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
5 42.2k hugs
given |
#135
Reading posts, & trying to plan a doable day.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
Buffy01, MuseumGhost
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Buffy01, MuseumGhost
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2022
Location: The House
Posts: 1,200
2 819 hugs
given |
#136
I'm having trouble coping today. I think I'll try to take a nap.
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AliceKate, Bill3, Breaking Dawn, Buffy01
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Buffy01
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,197
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.1k hugs
given |
#137
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,197
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.1k hugs
given |
#138
I watch a few movies and some self help videos and journaling my feelings.
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Breaking Dawn, MuseumGhost
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Bill3, MuseumGhost
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Legendary
Member Since Oct 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 10,197
(SuperPoster!)
7 10.1k hugs
given |
#139
__________________ Everyone can do magic - Cassie Nightgale the good witch. Dear Diary today will be different today I can smile it will be genuine because today is the day I get to live. This life will be good and beautiful, but not without heartbreak. In death come peace. But pain is the cost of living. Like love, it's how we know we're alive. And life goes on. That my life weird, messy, complicated, sad, wonderful, amazing, and above all epic and I owe all to Stephen. - Eleanor Gilbert Vampire Diaries |
Breaking Dawn
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Wood Ape
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,592
(SuperPoster!)
6 22.3k hugs
given |
#140
Coping well and keeping things very simple having just been through a very difficult and also a very positive six weeks in terms of building some valued relationships. I feel like I've grown a little bit.
__________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
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Breaking Dawn
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Breaking Dawn
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