I feel so discouraged and weak

I'm feeling really down today.

Maybe some of this is winter blues. But...my psychiatrist is closing her business. She was very alternative, but I liked her. She recommended supplements and did lots of lab work work on her patients.

The results showed that I have high homocysteine levels and need folate. Also B vitamins (like folate) may help with my mood. She kept recommending supplements. But I've had headaches with two different multivitamins she's prescribed, and heartburn, with another.

I'm scared bc I've read that high homocysteine can lead to stroke and heart disease. She didn't even tell me this. She just focused on the mental health effects.

I'm angry with her.

I feel almost obsessed about my blood results, the vitamins, trying to help myself and my mental health. It doesn't feel productive. I'm just worried and discouraged.

I'm also...supposed to go to volunteer tonight. But I'm not feeling well and I just can't get myself to go. I am dreading it even though it's a good thing to do. I worry I'm disappointing ppl. I don't know if I can help it.

2 days ago, someone close to me (an animal I took care of) passed away. I cried. Today I'm not thinking much about him which I feel guilty about. But...he brought my life a lot of meaning and purpose. It's weird. He's gone and now I've collapsed into a mush of Discouragement and worry about other things.

Hi Woven, how are you doing today?

It sounds like you’ve had a lot of information to take in. I’d be anxious too if I got a lot of information at once especially if I felt it wasn’t full information and lead me to ask more questions as you describe.

I’m so sorry you lost the animal you were taking care of, losing an animal can be very sad and it’s a form of grief too, that’s bound to knock you.

Thank you. Today has been a better day. It's the first day this week I've not been a wreck. Last night, It helped to knit. (It felt grounding and genuinely calming). And to reach out to people who care and who I care about!