Feeling Fear Because I Live Alone

Hey everyone,

I don't know who has been following the news, but I am feeling overwhelming fear about living alone due to the fact that young jogger was murdered recently.

I don't jog in the neighborhood, but I do travel back and forth to the big city in my state a lot, sometimes early in the morning or late at night.

I am feeling scared. I never thought I would miss my husband so much as I do now. I called the local police department, and they told me I am allowed to carry a small taser or pepper spray. I should also invest in a ring doorbell even though no one really comes over, but still. The officer gave me great advice.

I just ask any lady out there, if you live alone, please be careful. I am originally from NYC and grew up there in the 80s when it was the worst of the worst, and believe it or not, I never felt unsafe until now.

A good alarm system might help

Get to know your neighbors. Fortunately I’m 65 and can set my own hours. I never go out after dark.

I understand your concern but it isn't only limited to females who are "alone". The whole world is nuts. You have cops getting attacked in NYC, people getting shot at Super Bowl celebrations, people getting shot in church, and we all know about violence in our schools.

There is no universal "magic pill" to curb this. We simply live in a violent society. Yes, it's awful and I certainly don't have the answers. There is nothing wrong with being cautious and being aware of your surroundings. I get that. But if I want to do something or go somewhere, I do.

I don't wish to diminish the validity of your fears, you have every right to feel afraid, but sometimes trying to use logic can help push back on out of control emotions.


It says that you live in the state of North Carolina, searching it says that it has a 9.7 murder rate per 100.000 people. It sounds like you live in some suburb or more rural area which probably has an even lower rate.

Keep in mind that I'm sure the murder rate skews strongly towards people involved in shady dealings.


To put this into context I looked up the death rate by car accident and it was 19, so basically all things considered any random person has more than twice (probably much more) chance of dying on a car accident than of being randomly murdered. Yet I doubt most worry about it too much beyond maybe using a seat belt and other basic precautions.


So logically speaking, I think you should try to focus your mind the same way, take reasonable precautions while keeping in mind that the chance of this happening to you in particular are very, very small.


I think American media and culture are a bit too sensational and focused on these types of crimes so it creates this anxiety that's there's random murders happening everywhere, constantly.

Yeah, I believe the news said 9 joggers were murdered in the past year. They acted like that’s a lot but when you consider there’s a hella lota joggers that’s actually quite small. I live in a sketchy part of a city and have to leave before dawn and can’t get back until after nightfall and really just be aware of your surroundings and have a plan.

To all honesty I don’t think it makes difference if you live alone or not. I am married but we don’t go to work together. I used to work in a very rough neighborhood, we routinely had shootings right in front of my work place. My husband wouldn’t be anywhere near. I think you just have to exercise reasonable precautions. Lock your door when you are home, especially at night. Don’t go out and about at odd hours. Etc

Life is pretty uncertain to start with, sure. I think to myself any number of things could strike me down at any moment, natural things: disease, disaster, accident, you name it - and that's without factoring in human beings harming me. Take precautions, yes, but put trust into life as well. Mostly nothing is happening to you (us). The fear is in the mind.

I agree with the above posters. And the probability of you being murdered in the same vicinity as that young jogger following the jogger"s death is so small.

I think this is akin to the quite common fear of flying. I know several people who have that fear. Some take Valium to fly, others simply do not fly. But they drive and ride cars without fear. Yet statistically flying is far safer than driving.