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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
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#1
I am in a near panic state and am experiencing acute and destabilizing anxieties that are being triggered in every area of my life including work/career, my home, my social life, and my love life. I am so triggered by the sudden increase in stress levels occurring in each of those areas of my life, that I do not feel emotionally safe anywhere. I do not feel safe at work, in my home, going out socially, or if I ever dared to venture into dating again. the dating world.
I just went on a new anti anxiety medication yesterday, to be taken daily. But right now I am concerned about whether I can even work next week. Unfortunately, I have so much on my plate, that taking time off from work is just not feasible. I don't know how to cope with this state I am in or effectively manage my symptoms. Anyone have some immediately applicable, fast acting coping strategies for sqeulching trauma responses and emotional triggers? I think it is PTSD that is happening here for me.. like past traumas that have occurred in each of those areas of my life at various times, and now I am suddenly being retraumatized constantly by all of them happening at once. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2020
Location: USA
Posts: 3,653
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#2
I am so very, very sorry that you are in the situation you describe. You have been on this Forum much longer than I have and have helped more people so I don't know if I can be helpful to you.
There is something that helps me a lot but to be quite honest with you, many people have told me it does nothing at all for them. Sometimes things that really help one person are totally worthless to others in the same kinds of situations. I have a kind of "mantra" I say to myself when the stress of past and present traumas and difficulties are crushing me from every side. What I say is: "Could be worse, but isn't worse, thank goodness." Or if it is about things I fear in the future, I say to myself: "No matter what happens in the future regarding work, relationships, health and so on, I will still be able to say: "could be worse but will not be worse, thank goodness.' " I get caught in a kind of "could, should be better" frame of mind. It makes me sad and ramps up my anxiety to great heights and even leads me to have panic attacks and rolling panic attacks. I find I can disarm this with "could be worse but isn't worse" frame of mind. I could be worse, but am not worse. Other people could be worse but are not worse. Things, situations and events in my life and the world could be worse but are not worse, thank goodness. I know it must sound crazy, but reframing my mind to gratitude really lowers my anxiety and unhappy and distressing feelings. The worst I've ever felt in my life was when I had life threatening food poisoning that caused my to throw up constantly and without any pause or relief. I felt so, so sick and bad. Now when I feel nervous or bad about something in my life, I think well at least I am not suffering from that food poisoning right now. And it helps me. I am not on fire. I am not starving to death. I am not stranded in a desert without water and facing a slow and painful demise. Thank goodness! People have told me that doing what I do has helped them but many more people have told me that it doesn't do a thing for them. So I am only sharing it with you in the hope that maybe you are one of the few who can benefit from it. Hopefully other members here will have better words for you and more helpful words than my poor words. It is awful beyond words when so many things join together and threaten to crush one. Pressures at home and work and everything else can be crushingly heavy. PTSD in particular is crushingly heavy to bear in my experience. I hope you are able to find things that really and truly help you. So sorry you are suffering!! |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2023
Location: Michigan
Posts: 364
1 106 hugs
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#3
I'm not sure of the new medication you're on but I was on Buspirone and it was like being on LSD. I was literally tripping and hallucinating. My doctor now has me on Fluvoxamine and I am 100% better for it. You might want to talk with your doctor and see what your options are. Also, not sure how much you exercise but that can help. All the best to you.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
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6 3,670 hugs
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#4
Quote:
![]() ![]() You've always been here to respond to my cries and pleas for help over the years. You are always so kind, so thoughtful with your replies, and so compassionate and understanding. I just love you!! ![]() And all that you wrote is very helpful to me. I love love love your mantra. What you wrote serves as a great reminder to me to still be grateful for what I do have, even in moments or periods of enormous stress/emotional distress. That is definitely helpful and I will be sure to keep it in mind every day. What I realized hours after creating this thread is that due to all these different triggers occurring, I do not feel emotionally safe in any area of my life right now. And that is making me feel incredibly ungrounded, like a kite flying with no string attached. I am also constantly looking around wherever I am now, feeling on guard about anyone or anything coming to rain on my parade. I went to a concert last night and met up with a girlfriend I've made during the last year who follows this band around the state like I do. Her boyfriend made a rather rude and mean comment to me after the show ended, which turned my entire mood sour. When I woke up, I felt like he had ruined the whole night for me with that one mean comment. I am so sensitive to anything anyone says to me right now that could be interpreted as a slight or insult. I think perhaps another solution is for me to just completely isolate myself from the world and from society altogether. I am so traumatized & triggered that I don't want to be around any people at all. I may need trauma therapy... I don't know. This is a pretty severe emotional state I am in. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#5
Quote:
I do need to be better about exercise. I am very sporadic with it. I use meditative videos on youtube every morning, which is my way to try and ground myself before work every morning. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Member
Member Since Mar 2022
Location: In the west
Posts: 430
2 1,102 hugs
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#6
You sound a bit like you're suffering from exhaustion - physical, emotional, and mental. It makes every little nerve raw, and like your last one is constantly sticking out, waiting to be hit.
When that happens to me, it's a sign I need as much physical and mental rest as possible. I'll cut back obligations to the bare minimum, and sleep/rest the remainder of the time until things feel better. Now when I recognize I'm getting exhausted, it's usually just one down-day, but at times, it can be a week or so of minimal activity. It's hard, because it can feel wrong to do nothing, but letting a body and mind rest and heal, sometimes really helps. Be gentle with yourself. There's a lot going on ![]() |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2023
Location: Michigan
Posts: 364
1 106 hugs
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#7
Quote:
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,037
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#8
I don’t know if I can add anything except to say exercise is an excellent suggestion from RT. Only one thing, be careful about the intensity, it’s been my experience when anxious that cardio can aggravate it sometimes, maybe it’s the adrenaline I don’t know.
Meditation sounds good, yoga, Pilates, swimming are all good in my experience- they focus your brain on the action and can calm thoughts . Focusing on the breathe is good too. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#9
Quote:
Thank you. ![]() __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#10
Quote:
Guess I am not at that point yet to take that leap. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,037
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#11
Yes I understand not feeling mentally ready for exercise, I’m only just restarting gently exercising myself after a long lapse too.
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Member
Member Since Apr 2023
Location: Michigan
Posts: 364
1 106 hugs
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#12
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#13
My new therapist was a no-show for our appt. yesterday. She didn't even contact me to let me know she couldn't be there. Two weeks ago, she cancelled my appt at the very last minute for a family emergency, and I haven't heard from her since. Shouldn't she have at least reached out to me to let me know she couldn't make last night's appt either??? That's really irresponsible. Then, I texted her at the time of our appt to inform her of my extreme anxiety and PTSD symptoms and that I need an appt ASAP. She didn't even reply to that text. wth? I have gone one full month without a therapy appt, and I am at my absolute worst right now, in dire need of professional help.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,037
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4 12.2k hugs
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#14
That sounds poor, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable with an unreliable therapist, surely the whole point of a therapist is consistency and reliability?
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#15
Quote:
She finally replied back to me. It was an understandable mixup, it turns out. She was originally set up for me through a limited number of EAP counseling sessions available to me through work. She thought we had completed all 3 of our sessions, all that I had left that were free, and so she didn't have me on her calendar for any additional sessions, including this week. I've asked her if she can work with me long-term, and I am waiting for her to answer. She hasn't replied yet. I have been attempting to obtain a good therapist for about a year, on and off, always ending in failure. I actually like this one quite a bit and found her to be very helpful so far, so I hope she can take me as a longer-term client. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#16
Yikes! I am not here now posting to sound a major alarm bell for immediately necessary mental health interventions. BUT, I am experiencing a condition that is rather new to me and kind of surreal, which I am now suddenly wondering if it maybe points to a bi-polar diagnosis. I am operating on a constant and almost inhuman extremely frenzied level, every day at work, that is impacting my speaking and cognitive abilities. I am literally losing the ability to quickly identify in my head and then in my speech, the correct words or wording to use in meetings to convey my thoughts accurately. I am melting down and it's impacting my speech! Wth???? My workload is far overflowing and I cannot possibly manage all by myself the sudden huge increase in demands coming at me from all over the company. I am losing the ability to actually do what is required in my job as a direct result, which takes slower, careful and thoughtful consideration. I am a bit scared right now about my condition. The point is.. the trauma triggers being set off nearly every day in every area of my life are impacting my speech and cognitive functioning. And now, I don't make much coherent sense when required to speak up in meetings at work.
I am like on hyper drive and hyper alert. I am needing to protect myself in every area of life right now.. in my job, at my home, in my social life, in my love life.. it's like I now have a sword in my hand every second of every day, battling all of these issues at once throughout my life... this is not normal. Really unnerving.. __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jul 03, 2024 at 06:22 PM.. |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#17
Last night I got totally fed up with the therapist and fired her. I had asked her 3 times if she could schedule an appt with me Friday or Monday, telling her more than once that I am desperate and that my symptoms are severe. I haven't had a session with her for a whole month. She didn't even reply to my pleas and cries for help. I concluded after 3 failed attempts that she is totally irresponsible and unethical. And now I have no therapist.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes Last edited by Have Hope; Jul 04, 2024 at 06:37 AM.. |
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 5,037
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#18
Are you able to access any sort of help through your primary care doctor? (Sorry I’m not in the US so don’t understand how it works where you are).
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#19
Quote:
![]() Thank goodness that I was able to schedule a therapy appt for tomorrow with a totally different and a very good therapist. My family saw her 10 years ago for 1-2 family therapy sessions, and we all thought she was amazing. My mother suggested that I contact her instead. She doesn't take health insurance, but she will meet with me for a session or two perhaps, and hopefully can also give me a few solid therapist referrals. Fingers crossed!! __________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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Wise Elder
Member Since Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,194
(SuperPoster!)
6 3,670 hugs
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#20
The therapist I met with yesterday isn't taking new clients. She is trying to find me a trauma therapist. This may/may not work out. She posted my request on some therapist board.
__________________ "Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination" ~4 Non Blondes |
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