Been doing cbt

I'm going back to Tafe soon that has made me think about my thinking habits my anxiety for the future and my anger. The truth is that it angers me that I care what people think or say my sister's partner doesn't like me because I'm lazy but I've been thinking but the things he hates me for he does so much worse so I don't care what he thinks if I'm being honest. I just wish my sister was confident enough to see that she doesn't need him and can raise Alana alone nothing is going to stop the right man and anyone that says so is hateful. It also makes me think about what stops me from being happy the truth is what people say or think should not influence my feelings it shouldnt even be an after thought. It feels me with frustration that I want to convince people to like me when I don't even accept my shortcomings as time goes on I realise I made it more that what it truly is I was builded by my anger and insecurity but it shouldn't matter. The fact is that I do have friends friends in the most unexpected places people who help me with medical health and supplements for my health. I've been thinking so much about the people that judged me but I don't think about the people who love me for who I am and not what I could give. My sister situation provides me a lesson if you don't love yourself you will find people with problems that try and control you out of fear and insecurity. I don't want my insecurity to hold me back or too lash out because of words or people's judgement the truth is my life is my own. if I want to date the sun or moon it shouldn't matter I shouldn't care what they think and for the most part I've been telling myself everyday that I'm worthy and able to do things and with time I feel my mind grow stronger and see myself doing more and more for my life. Making the effort to find websites were I can do CBT for free. I have self care apps and those apps have helped my anxiety it's also made me accept my very human feelings about being seen and heard for the first time with my teachers. To understand that when someone connects with you it changes your life and it makes you better. So no I'm not insecure anymore I don't care about there opinion they people I've meant regardless of their profession has made my life better and I don't need to explain to others how I feel because I owe no one nothing.