Injury with mums hand

We got lost going to our appointment to see if we could get more money in commensation google made us go in circles but instead of being mad at google I saw it as a failure in myself. The truth is I am upset at myself for feeling not good enough and then when I get judgements from others it triggers me and makes me angry I realise now why I have trauma from being humiliated by a man that didn't deserve me. I realise that that humiliation by friends has affected myself esteem in the long run that when I get judgements I feel like I'm being attacked from mistakes in my past. I am angry because those friends never desrrved me and being judged like that as if they were perfect has made me indigent to others criticism I understand now that it why I explode at others when they have judgements about my life. I have to move beyond the trigger or people will always be able to hurt me. I just think that if a bastard man could hurt me and use my past against me it's made me realise that some men don't deserve me. The truth is I'm afraid of being loved again and being taken advantage of me. When I started to care for other people and people judged me for it, it made me angry.